Anyone had recommendation NOT to repair a full perineal tear?

[Iambeat]

This is the case for me. It’s not what I want but the gyno said repairs usually come undone when it’s is a short perineum. The embarrassing symptoms with a 3rd degree tear like this make me want to go for a private repair and I’m trying to decide what is best. No amount of pelvic floor exercises will fix this …

Are they flat out refusing or is it a ‘recommendation’ with heavy pressure to go with the option they want you to?

Might be worth getting a second opinion

Thanks @BunfightBetty. I’ve only just seen your message. Strong recommendation from gyno but 2nd opinion consultant recommended a repair (she suggested going back to NHS for this). I really don’t want the NHS gyno I saw to do it so considering going private (and saving).

You are entitled to a second NHS opinion, so from a different NHS gynae. You are entitled to request a second opinion on anything in the NHS these days, which is so much better than it used to be!

You can contact the department to ask, or if you prefer then you can go via PALS.

Would it be possible to ask for an alternative gyno to do your repair? If not I'd get it done privately and put it on credit card or get bank loan if necessary. It's too important not to get it done. It will affect your self esteem if you don't get repairs.

Thanks for the comments. I’ll ask how I go about a second opinion on NHS. As it absolutely has affected my self esteem.
For info - the initial NHS gyno said I had (before the tear) a short perineum and a repair would cause problems and eventually tear again. She also said (both visits) that women need to understand their bodies will never go back to what they were (I’m not naive)
My physio is convinced that the perineum also provides needed support.

Maybe I should just put it on a credit card…