WHY can’t I do labour?! Help

[Jooleree]

First baby induced as measuring large.

Second - waters broke - then nothing, so induced.

Now number three - contractions started 30h ago, some water went this morning, then on and off contractions all day. 4cm dilated since 11am today - “this baby will be born soon”. But no progress. Looks like I’m going to need another induction.

WHY can’t I do this? What can I do to get my body to properly go into labour? I’ve walked for miles, watched my favourite film, listened to my favourite music, bounced on the ball…

Trying not to be defeated but feel quite useless. Any tips welcome.

Be kind to yourself, if you’re having contractions and you’re 4cm dilated then you ARE in labour. Try to relax and let your body do it’s thing, any help you might need is there to support you.

Also with my third i had a longer early labour, apparently it’s not unusual.

i was 4cm dilated for 11 days with literally nothing happening. Then all of a sudden everything happened at once and she was born in 17 minutes! It was very chaotic but she’s three weeks old now and completely perfect! (She was my 3rd too after a c section and induction)

Your amazing body has grown 3 whole human beings. If it needs a smidge of help to push them out, there's no shame in that.

This

good grief - you’ve grown three humans!! Give yourself a break!!

Thanks all. I needed a shot of perspective. You’re right - whatever helps baby get here safely is OK. No prizes awarded for being better at labour. I just sooo thought I might be able to do it this time!

How are you @Jooleree? Hopefully having baby cuddles x

Ahhh thank you for checking in!

I am indeed curled up with my perfect little lady, having all the cuddles and head sniffs, and wondering why I was bothered about anything other than getting her out without too much of a disaster!

Labour was a bit hairy at points, and I needed some assistance, but my midwife was amazing and all worked out safely in the end. ❤️

Echoing the be kind to yourself comments here. We are an incredibly intelligent species but shit at giving birth (statistically) without dying. I was induced with my first and I know exactly what you mean about wanting to experience that whole wonder and dawning excitement edged with trepidation of realising you are in labour. It’s fine to be sorry to miss it but we are so fortunate to Iive in a time and place in which you and I and or our babies survive rather than die when there are complications. I’m not saying that as in “Shut up and be grateful!” but try not to dwell on it. I am broadly pro NTC and books on labour and birth designed for pregnant women but it can feel like if you’ve had induction or assisted delivery you have somehow failed; perhaps you didn’t visualise or relax enough; you “let” fear and pain overwhelm you. More likely your labour was physiologically difficult for one or a number of possible reasons, - or your safety indicated induction as with pre-eclampsia.

🌸

Huge congratulations! How lovely!