Vaginal Vs Elective c section recovery advice

[Ontheflipside_]

Looking for some advice/ reassurance please. I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. My DD is 3 years 3 months and I had an extremely traumatic birth last time which led to both of us nearly dying, separated immediately, she was put on cooling treatment and in an induced coma, moved hospitals etc. I had really bad infection, PPH, then I went without a transfusion for ages etc. This all led to a 9 month HSIB investigation. All in all, a nightmare.

Anyways, despite all this, I am TERRIFIED of the recovery after a c section. And I'm sorry to say also having a bad scar/ c section overhang. My first birth truly was so bad because I agreed to an induction at 37 weeks after a series of reduced movements. I honestly feel if I'd gone into labour spontaneously it would have been different.

I'd like to know if you had a bad vaginal birth, was a planned c section a much better experience? How was the recovery? How have you helped heal your scar/ reduce "overhang"? My main worry about overhang is because I am quite prone to scar tissue build up, so I worry that I'll naturally have more scar tissue.

I also have scar from my episiotomy and other injuries from childhood which have taken years to fully heal.

And if you had a bad vaginal birth first time and tried for a second vaginal birth, was your birth experience better?

Thank you! I feel pretty stressed with what choice to make.

I did not have a 'bad' vaginal birth in terms of the recovery but did have an elective section with my second child as the first was stillborn at full term and I needed as much predictability as possible.

It was supposed to be a planned section which changed into an 'emergency' due to a sudden change a week before the planned date but was still extremely calm. It was a very positive experience. Pain was minimal with the painkillers over the first few days and I was surprised by how quickly I was able to reduce these. I had no issues in terms of the recovery although we were in hospital for over a week because of the baby and I feel the forced rest, lack of stairs to walk up and down etc did help this as I think it can be tempting to do too much.

All the very best with whatever your decision.

I’ve only had an elective c section (maternal request) and I found the recovery totally fine, don’t get me wrong it’s no walk in the park but I was pretty much back to normal after 5 days. I was only in hospital one night.

I don’t have any scar overhang, but that may depend on genes and whether someone is overweight or not. I gained weight in pregnancy but I went back to my normal size (8-10) about 6 months after the birth. My scar is very small and neat and low.

im having another c section in a few weeks, 3 years later, I know the first few days will be hard but as long as I take it easy in the first few weeks that should help in the long run. We have a 3 year old but we’re going to be strict with me not doing any lifting of him for the first 3 weeks at least!

good luck

I’m so sorry for your loss @river29 ❤️

I’ve had two c sections and have two scars (unusual as they usually reuse the same one the second time). Both are almost invisible and no overhang but I think that’s my body type (slim size 8 fast metabolism etc etc). I’m going to have a third elective (first and second were emergency). I’m not worried about overhang or scar as a priority - other worries instead!!!

I said this on another post earlier today...
DC1: 4 day induction, episiotomy, forceps, massive blood loss, high dependency unit for days, multiple blood transfusions, prolapse that needs surgery and ruins my life everyday nearly 4 years later
DC2: elective C section. Never took more than paracetamol and ibuprofen. Driving within 2 weeks. Scar healed well and while it's tender for quite awhile after (like if someone hit it or jumped on you) I don't even notice it now.

Earlier I described the recovery from the c section as 50 times easier than my experience with dc1 and I mean it. I may have had a cut abdomen and a permanent scar but I was not physically destroyed for weeks on end.

I was super strict with not lifting anything other than the baby for at least 6 weeks. I'd had a friend warn me that she didn't listen to that and still had pain months later. But I didn't do any scar massage or silicone strips or anything to help heal the scar.

I'm so sorry for your loss 💐

Thank you for your insight.

I had a very positive elective with DD2. Very little pain, I was back driving almost straight away. I found the birth quite healing after a traumatic emergency section with DD1. It was calm, controlled, had a playlist going, the staff were all chatty and relaxed. We were out 24 hours later. Two years on and no issues from it.

This is really positive to know, thank you.

I am also a slim size 10 but I have to work quite hard to maintain this. Luckily I really enjoy exercising and even throughout pregnancy am still exercising. But I have put on quite a lot of weight (as I did with my DD) but I think I will lose this again.

I suppose that's one of my worries with a c section is that it will be quite difficult to start exercising again.

Another worry is that my DD is very tactile and doesn't really understand that I wouldn't be able to lift her up. So I'm worried that saying no all the time whilst holding the baby will be hard on our relationship

Oh that's interesting! I'd heard massage and silicone strips are key!!

That's pretty much the exactly like my birth except the prolapse. I was under gynae for 2 years though due to the scar tissue around my episiotomy and I've found doing perineal massage this time round has massively helped it all loosen up.

But my fear is that my recovery was so brutal last time, surely abdominal surgery with a toddler must be worse!

Thanks for sharing. How did you find your recovery after the 2nd section with another child already?

I made sure I didn’t go home after 24 hours like first one. I stayed 2 nights and 3 full days - I asked/ begged the midwives!!

Booked lots of childcare. My husband only had a week off work as he hadn’t been at his company long enough for paternity. I also used the tv a lot

Hello!

So I don't think my first birth sounds as traumatic as yours but I did have pph, retained placenta, tore quite badly and DS was in SCBU for a week with an infection. Long birth and I felt quite out of it, not in control. I had diamorphine which I reacted quite badly to and was v sleepy and shakey at the same time.

Second vaginal birth was so much better - much quicker (12hrs from first contraction to DD being born), gas and air only, no pph, placenta delivered OK, slight tear, DD passed to me immediately for skin to skin and breastfeeding. With DS I really regretted not being able to hold him for a long time after giving birth because of the bleeding etc. The whole thing felt really healing. However I also know women who've had a planned C-section the second time and they're also commented on what a peaceful experience it was compared to their first birth. So I think whatever you choose, there's a good chance it'll be a much better experience. Everything about DD has felt so much easier actually, she's 14wks now, you really do learn a lot the first time round!

I was in a very lucky position in that I didn't have to have both the toddler and the baby on my own for quite a few months. It meant I wasn't tempted to lift the toddler. His father also works from home so he did all the nursery drops and I used to get him to put him in the bath, in the cot etc.

I really did intend to do the scar massage etc but I just didn't. Maybe I was just lucky.

I did actually buy a post c-section ab rehab programme which slowly rebuilds your core strength. I didn't do it fully as intended but I think it was useful.

See this is what I have my hopes pinned on. But there feels like so much risk and uncertainty around a vaginal birth. I'm not saying a c section is risk free, but there are so many more variables for a vaginal birth and I worry I'll panic as soon as I go into labour and not have the oxytocin I need to progress the labour successfully.

Did you feel confident on your decision to go for a vaginal birth after your first time round?

I will have 10-12 weeks until we drop our daughter's preschool hours from full time. My DH also WFH flexibly and is amazingly hands on, so I'm not too worried about having him as an option, more about DD accepting it as she's very clingy to me...

My first birth was traumatic, 27 hours in back to back labour ending in a 3rd degree tear and 2 hours away from DD being stitched up in surgery. Recovery was hard and took a long time.
Second time round I was terrified of it happening again but equally as terrified of the thought of a section and recovery, after a lot of changing my mind I opted for an elective section and I am so glad I did. The experience was completely opposite to my first, it was so calm and I felt fully in control, the midwife and theatre team kept me informed every step of the way and went at my pace. Recovery was amazing compared to first time round, pain was minimal, although definitely stick to taking the painkillers and don't stop them too soon if you do opt for a section. I was out for a short walk on day 8 and doing the school run on foot (around 1.5 miles) by 16 days pp. I would 100% opt for the section again if I had to, I only wish I'd chosen one first time round.

Oh this is so positive to know! Thank you. Apart from the immediate recovery, how is your recovery now? Have you done any specific rehab for your core or scar?

I had a traumatic first birth, spontaneous and vaginal, which lead to separation from baby, baby on an incubator in NICU, infections for both of us amongst other issues! I'm still on a waiting list now for surgery to recover from an injury sustained during my first birth, even now more than 4y on.

I had a spontaneous vaginal second birth. I refused sweeps and all investigations to my cervix and dilation prior to birth. I had to stand hard and firm to hold my ground. MW wasn't happy with me. I went overdue. I was being pushed for induction. I held my ground and said no. The birth was wonderful. It was much quicker, as second babies often are, and I had no time for pain relief (not G&A, not even paracetamol at home before heading to hospital)! Waters went 8am, baby arrived just after 9am. We only just made it to hospital (DH was parking the car when baby was born in hospital lift through A&E). Recovery was so much better than the first time. I was home within hours, to receive and pack away our supermarket delivery later that same day, and to walk to nursery to collect my eldest, too.

But I will add - all births are different and there's no guarantee that any birth will go through way you want it to, so you need to weigh up what your worst case scenario would be.

Good luck and I really hope your second is a much lovelier experience than your first!

I think after your first birth experience you should honestly have a c section. A planned one should be easier to recover from.
As for your toddler just sit down and let them cuddle up to you. It’s only 6 weeks (hopefully) to recover. She will have to be careful around your stomach for a while, make her part of caring for new baby, even just saying to baby this is your sister and telling baby all the things sister can do, baby will like the sound of your voice and big sister will like that it’s her you’re chatting about!
I have no advice for the overhang or scar…I have three children and what my stomach looks like is of little interest to me!

I’ve had both , natural first which was extremely traumatic and the recovery from was horrendous.
C-sec was recommended for my second and it was a breeze.

My scar has healed really well, I used silicon scar patches on it once it had began to heal and it's just a white line now at 19 months PP. I do have some scar tissue under and around the incision which has meant I have the typical "mum pouch" but it actually doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would, massage is supposed to help with this but I haven't done this as much as I could have. The only issue I have had is numbness where my scar is, the gp has said that this could be a permanent thing or could gradually start to return nobody knows and it's likely due to nerve damage from the section.
Core strength is definitely a working progress, I could have been a lot more proactive at improving it but life's busy with two little ones so finding the time is difficult. I wouldn't say I have any major lasting issues though it's been mainly positive long term recovery wise.

Thanks so much for this reply! The second time sounds lovely, albeit extremely quick!!

I suppose my worry is that there's no guarantee and as much as I would prefer a vaginal birth, all the worries, unknowns and variables around how it could go make me nervous.

I would also go for no sweeps, no induction, no cervical checks etc. But if I go overdue then I think I'll be constantly on edge purely out of nervousness which likely won't be favourable for a straightforward delivery

Thank you for this! All of my family and friends support me either way, but everyone assumes after what we went through last time I will choose a planned c section and almost like I have 2 heads for even considering a vaginal birth. So it's validating to hear this also.

You're right, it really shouldn't matter what my stomach looks like. My DH is so supportive and loving. He puts no pressure on me and adores me just as I am. I think it comes from growing up in 90's/early 2000s as well as working in male dominated profession around lots of sexism and misogyny in my early 20s. Ive been treated very differently by people from being a size 10-12 to being a size 8-10. Which are both slim!!!