I don't want to go through the details of dc3 labour and birth (6 weeks ago), but I just wanted to say that I felt quite mixed about the experience. Physically it was great, but unfortunately the midwife I had seriously lacked people skills and made me feel like I was being a drama queen and making a fuss, amongst making decisions about pain relief for me .
I spoke about this to my community midwife, who suggested I have a labour debrief. I did this a few weeks ago with the midwifery manager, which was very therapeutic. She discussed what was in my notes, I told her my version, adding the human element that was lacking in the notes, and much to my huge relief agreed that I should have felt disappointed by the treatment I received. She was very apologetic and agreed to discuss with the midwife who 'treated' me. She called me last week to say that the chat had taken place, and the midwife was very sorry and was going to receive some guidance.
Although this hasn't stopped the disappointment that I feel about the labour, it does at least make me feel justified in having an occasional bitch about the midwife.
With my previous 2 children I had tougher labours and deliveries, but fantastic care and support from lovely midwives throughout. I remember reading about these debriefs and feeling sceptical, my opinion was provided baby is healthy and you manage to get over the birth physically in a reasonable length of time - what's your problem?? Now feel slightly ashamed about that opinion .
Bottom line is, I think every woman before they leave hospital or are discharged from comm midwife should have an opportunity to discuss there notes and care - how else can a) the mums appreciate why things happened and if anything can be done to prevent this with future children, and b) the maternity services ever improve.