After birth visits

[NewbieMummytobe]

Hi all, so I am currently pregnant and trying to make some decisions about who/when visits will happen after birth. I have already decided I want MIL in the room as I give birth as she is an ex midwife compared to my mum who will just flap! Plus I’m not particularly close to my mum compared to MIL.
The problem is both ILs and my parents live quite far away (2 hours for ILs, 4 hours for mine) and our house is definitely not big enough to host. Currently as ILs are retired the plan is for them to get in the car the second I go into labour with FIL staying at our house with the dog while we’re in the hospital. The problem is I know my parents will also want to rush down as soon as I go into labour and will want to meet baby asap after birth.
I’m just not sure how to deal with the whole situation? Do I ask them to get a hotel? Do I not tell them I’m in labour and just FaceTime once it’s over? I’d really appreciate some advice, especially from people who have been in a similar situation.
thanks x
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are you close to them and have a positive healthy relationship?

if so, just say “let’s have a chat about logistics post birth”

but i strongly suspect given you’re asking mumsnet… that the relationship isn’t… great

My inlaws live 2 hours away. They were in the car very shortly after I was home
I can't remember which day....they stayed a couple of hours and left. (They bought aunty and cousin for the ride). It was the first grandchild. They were excited. I can't even remember if we fed them.....husband did all that stuff.

No way would I have wanted anyone to stay. My parents live 5 minutes drive away.

No need for them to rush when you go into labour. It could be days.....they need to wait until you call them.

No I’m not particularly close with my parents, it also doesn’t help that they are divorced and I have step parents that will want to come also

when was last time visited and where did they stay?

why two threads about this op?

Maybe 3 years ago for a special occasion and everyone got a hotel! We probably visiting 2 or 3 times a year and stay at their house.

Im new and didn’t know where to post/if people would actually reply

ok so i’d be surprised if they expect to stay with you if they haven’t before

just ask “are you going to book hotel around my due date or wait until news and then book?

I would wait until baby is here to tell you parents, as you've mentioned your not particularly close. I imagine at the time you'll have so much going on anyway, informing them will be the last thing on your mind, you also don't want it playing on your mind that they may make the decision to leave and come straight away before you decide your ready for visitors. You don't know how your birth will go, you may end up with a csection etc so could be kept in overnight and want to rest for a couple of days when home. So id wait until after the birth to tell them, worst case if your worried about upsetting them, you just say it all happened very quickly etc etc... nobody will know the date I am due to have my csection except my mum and my sister. I don't want other people intruding, it's a personal time between me and my DH, nobody else.
as for staying with you. Absolutely not. If they want to come, they can put themselves up at a hotel, b&b or air b&b plently of options which allow you and your partner to remain in your baby bubble and not have to worry about providing for guests. Another reason why I suggest not telling them until baby is born, because if you've had a particularly tough time of it, you maybe want a couple of days between being home and settling in and having visitors.

Honestly, I wouldn't be worrying about keeping anyone else happy except you, baby and partner. Nobody is entitled to your baby, give yourself time. The baby will still be a baby a week or two later. X