Not even preg again yet but planning a home birth, any tips??

[ruthmollymummy]

had a bit of a rough one with dd (induced birth because of anti D probs), had epidural, eventual forceps delivery (after 3 days!!). We are thinking about ttc fairly soon and I want to be sure when I go to the GP to tell him so as to make sure no one can argue with me!

if you've had a home birth how did it actually go? or what are your plans if you're hoping to shortly?

there is a distinct possibility i'm romanticising the whole idea - my mum and sisters milling around, music on, comfort of home and all that. is it really that nice!?

had one for ds2 and it was fabulous. really, really nice. would recommend to anyone.
the whole experience makes me want another baby

ity really is that nice. the comfort of being in your own home cannot be overestimated, it's so nice to be able to sit down on a comfy sofa/in bed and have a NICE cup of tea and whatever you fancy to eat.

that is exactly what I want, to be in my own home and not have to ask permission to go for a pee or walk about or have a sandwich! I live in 4 in a block flats though! if neighbours can't hear dd crying would they hear me labouring!!

mine was really that nice! although your mum and sisters weren't there and we didn't have time to put music on

It was wonderful though. I woke in the night with painful contractions. DP started timing them and quickly discovered they were less than 5mins apart so i rang midwife and said don't rush cos i've only been up for 15minutes baby can't come that quickly. I went for a shower but jumped straight back out with another contraction. Midwife thankfully did rush round along with another midwife and a student midwife - (so i had far more care than you tend to get at hospital births). They were chatting with dp and slowly unloading car. They told me to lay down so they could check i was dilated. My waters went before i laid down, and then midwife did internal whilst i was standing up and found baby's head virtually out. I think i'd only been awake for just over an hour by the time dd2 was born. Dp cuddled her whilst midwives cleaned up and made the room look as though nothing had happened. I breastfed dd2 then had a bath. Midwives went home, and dd1 woke up from upstairs and came down to meet her new sister and me, dp and our 2 girls just cuddled on the sofa until the flurry of guests came in to meet the new arrival.

I can't emphasise enough how relaxing it was compared to the first hospital birth. Before during and after, just felt so 'comforable' because i was in my own environment. There was no getting in and out of cars and lugging bags around. No having to palm dd1 off to be looked after elsewhere. And cups of tea in my own mug and toast and marmite whenever i wanted. Oh and not forgetting bath in my own clean bath!

The midwife did tell me afterwards that the delivery probably wouldn't have been so quick had i travelled to hospital, because for many women just the anxiety of walking into that clinical environment can slow the contractions down. Alternatively with it being so quick i probably wouldn't have made it to hospital by the time we had got dd1 somewhere i'd have been giving birth in the car!

Hope your plans go well, and good luck ttc x

You really don't care about neighbours! I let out my cries of pushing so loudly that my midwife could hear me down the road when she was at her car. I couldn't care less at the time

All the neighbours were very polite when i next saw them and just congratulated us - they didn't mention the noise.

Tip 1 - you need to get pregnant first
Tip 2 - get Nicky Wesson's guide to homebirth - all the facts and figures you will need.
Tip 3 - your GP doesn't have to agree, you just book it with the midwife, and don't allow yourself to be fobbed off.

I'm having a home birth after VBAC. For me it's the only option because I can't go through the trauma of going to a hospital again

I was going to pre-warn my neighbours about impending homebirth but never got round to it.
in the event I was actually relatively quiet, so it didn't matter

I had my first 2 in a small midwife-led unit, easy, quick (7hrs & 3hrs) waterbirths with no pain relief required. So it was easy decision to have my 3rd at home (less than 1hr) and it was great. I had a waterbirth in the bath, my own shower, my own bed, DH very good on the catering front!

DC4 is due in 4 weeks and that's planned for homebirth too.

But if you didn't progress well with your first, you will probably need to discuss the pro's and cons of homebirth with your GP/midwife/consultant. Is there a midwife-led birthing unit nearby that you could use as a compromise?

btw, I also had a difficult first lbour.

18 hours long, had gas and air, then pethidine and then 2 epidurals and ended up with ventouse delivery and a second degree tear which was stitched in theatre.

homebirth for number 2 was 6 hrs from start to finish. NO pain relief at all and no tearing.

the midwife did keep saying to me "you do realise you cna't have an epidural don't you?" and "do you think you;ll cope with just gas and air?"

she was v surprised when I saw her after having ds2 that I had nothing lol. she was also convinced he was going to get stuck coming out and I would have to be transferred. odd woman

When i had dd1 the labour lasted 6 hours, and the pushing lasted a long time. The surgeon was hanging around wanting to take me in for caesarean but luckily i eventually got her out.

I remember when i started pushing with dd2 having a moment of panic that i wasn't anywhere near surgeons if required, but i think that gave me a surge of adrenalin to get the baby out quickly and she came out in about 3 pushes.

I think wherever you deliver second time round - you have a better understanding of what needs to be done iykwim and so that chances are high that it'll go smoothly.

whomoved - very good advice - esp the first! I'm just concerned that the powers of maternity care will give me grief!

I had a hospital birth, then 2 homebirths. Can't recommend homebirth highly enough really
One of the best things about homebirth for me is all being able to bond together as a whole family with the new baby; absolutely priceless for everyone involved! (When DD2 was born DH spent the entire night cuddling her and staring at her and playing her his favourite albums, while I caught up on some well-earned sleep) Being able to ask your mum/DH to make your favourite dish, or run out and buy some good ice-cream is pretty cool too

I've never considered myself this type of person but there is also a strong tribal kind of desire to have women around me. and normally my mother drives me barmy! but theres something so appealing about the idea of a house full of busy women, making tea, laughing and joking with each other, keeping me occupied. mind you it might get to the day and i'll tell everyone to f off and leave me in peace!

Have a look on Angela Horn's homebirth website (which has a whole section of "you can't have a homebirth becuase..." along with why most of those "reasons" are irrational in many cases), and join the homebirth uk yahoo group (link on the website).

And remember that just because you're paranoid, not all HCPs are out to get you and some of them do actually support home birth - especially if you take the line of "yes, I may need to transfer if circumstances dictate on the day", and show you've done some homework.

Are the complications with the AntiD going to occur again?

ps - I had a homebirth and it was nearly that nice. First baby, 9lb12, breech, no pain relief, 7 hours. Only downside was a tricky tear that wouldn't stop bleeding and we all decided it would be prudent to transfer in just in case it REALLY didn't stop bleeding - but that was about 4 hours after the birth with nary a blue light in sight.

Top tip: don't discuss homebirth with your GP! Unless you have a GP you know will support you (most are pretty negative about hb - particularly if you've had an instrumental birth previously).

You don't need to discuss it with anyone until your third trimester - generally they won't give you a firm 'yes' until the last month anyway, in case complications develop late in the pregnancy that make a homebirth inadvisable.

But yes - good idea. Great idea. I don't know anyone who's booked a homebirth who regrets it or wouldn't do it again, including those people who transferred into hospital in labour.

If you feel that you might getr esistance, get info'd up on the AIms website first, I wish i ahd as the first hospital MW I met (silly cow who even argued with me about how many kids I had ) said no I wasn't allowed, a letter to consulatnt with AIMs info sorted it no problem though

my birth was so quick that any other birth could have been disastrous tbh, as we live not far but too far for this away from hiospital and just wouldnt have amde it on time, well the MW living near the hospital didnt make it here anyway 9the otehr did, just)

tip- nappy mats are a soft way of waterprrofing areas of floor and have the benefit of absorbency (plastic etc can get slippery if wet)

consider a doula

Thanks again all, I have found a doula in my area actually. It costs a wee bit but DH and I agree its worth it.

Tangle - the specialist who helped us last time has told me to phone him the moment i know i'm preggers again and at 10 weeks they can do a blood test to see if it will be a prob or not. its great cos 10 weeks is really early days to know whether itll be a concern or not. if the antiD thing is going to be a prob i would have to give birth in hospital.

sabire - i didn't know that they waited that long to ok it, i guess it makes sense though - im off thinking i need to sort it from day one!

Top tip (after getting pregnant of course) would have to be to bypass the GP. If you feel that you need to see them don't bother telling them that you want a homebirth it will just stress them out and they will probably tell you that you or your baby will die. Just hmmm politely or lie blatently if they ask you where you will have it to save yourself the stress unless you are feeling like a fight of course.

if you look in birth announcements, details of my hb there just in the last fortnight (was 7th april)- should make you laugh at least!

Definitely bypass the GP. S/he'll have nothing to do with it all really.

Mine was good (last August). But it didn't hurt any less

2 Babies, 2 homebirths, suggested by midwife at booking in visit with DS1.
Long but lovely labour, born in birthingpool in our sitting room.
2nd time much shorter but just as brilliant once again birthing pool in our sitting room.

Don't write off all NHS staff as being against homebirths we had brilliant support from the first meeting.

Good luck.. enjoy it all

I hated my home birth but then I hate giving birth full stop.

It was painful and terrifying and I felt like I was the centre of attention which is just not a good place to be, if you're like me. I was very embarrassed.

The best thing was that I did maintain a modicum of control over what was done to me - hospitals are not great either, first time was in hospital - also my friend was there which was lovely. I probably felt safer in familiar surroundings than I would in a hospital - I'd lots of pain relief with #1 so completely underestimated the level of pain I'd be taking on.

You have a right, and lots of good reasons, to labour at home, and I would advise you to go for it.

I am quite envious of women who say their homebirth was wonderful though - I can't really say mine was.

Having a bit of a battle as to whether GP will "allow" me to have homebirth. Usual midwife has been off sick for a few months and current one not very helpful. Had Hb of 10.8 and she reckons it could be a problem. Seems fine to me after reading up on it.Does fighting your corner really work? Best of luck with your choice Ruth.x

Homebirth can be fantastic! There are very few reasons why a woman can't birth at home but many which might be put forward as deterrents. Hb being one of the most common.

Top reads, IMO....

'Homebirth' Sheila Kitzinger
'Active Birth' Janet Balaskas
'Spiritual Midwifery' Ina May Gaskin

'Pregnancy and Birth : In Support of Autonomy' ...hard to find but invaluable! Even my midwives borrowed it