I have a spearated abdomen, also called 'Diastasis Recti'

[honeydew]

After giving birth to my third child a year ago, I have a post partum condtion known as 'Diastasis Recti' which means my abdomen has separated due to pressure on it from my uterus. I have had large babies in quick sucession. I have had 1 vaginal birth and 2 sections (1 emergency) I have to have major surgery next year as my body will not heal anymore by itself. My abdomnen needs stitching back together, my umbilical hernia popped back in and I get a free tummy tuck thrown in! I still look 4 months pregnant, have to wear large flowing tops or maternity clothes and am often in pain.It's not easy when you have three children of four and under to care for! My surgeon says he sees cases like mine every other week. Is there anyone else who suffers from this debilitating problem and what have been your experiences?

This is such a long & heartbreaking thread for me to read as the amount of bad advice that has been given to some of you is shocking (I mean by physios, doctors, etc not by the other MN'ers who have been really helpful & honest!

Many factors including diastasis determine your post baby tummy. Any combination of diastasis, hernia, prolapse, weakened core muscles (TVA, mutifidus, pelvic floor & diaphragm), dysfunctional pelvic floor due to individual birth expereince, unbalanced blood sugar causing disporportionate fat storage around the abdomen, excess fat, inappropriate or ineffective exercise prescription, even food intolerance... there are many factors at play.

A diastasis CAN be closed, even many years after your last baby. A generic fitness instructor or personal trainer, even some physios, simply won't have the specialist expertise... take a look here www.pregnancyfitnessinsurrey.com/mummy-tummy-masterclass.html and here nomorexcuses.wordpress.com/- I hope it helps!

Hi Honeydew,

I am suffering from the same problem as you, I look 5 months pregnant, at 5 feet 4 and 8 and half stones I have a bump sticking out. I feel so depressed at the sight of it. My GP referred me to a Consultant who was rather dismissive, he interrupted me when I tried to tell him how I felt about it and basically sent me away. I had a second opinion and the Consultant said the seperation is large but he felt that he had to agree with the first Consultant. I tried to ask him the reason why and he simply said there is chance of infection and complications. Again very dismissive. However he has agreed to refer me to a plastic surgeon. I wanted to know if you experienced any problems in getting them to agree to the operation, and if you (or anyone else reading this) have any advice for me in readiness for my appointment. I would really appreciate any words of wisdom.

Alaine79, I just want to say that you are not alone. I'm 5 ft 2 and normally 7 1\2 stone but am currently 37 weeks preg. I had horrendous post natal care where doctors told me I was being vain and it would all go away in time after number 2 my diastis was 10 cm after 6 months and even after 3 years was still 3 cms. I finally managed to get a consult with a plastics surgeon through the NHS who was lovely and said that no amount of exercise was going to fix the problem and that i should have surgery to suture muscles back together and remove some excess skin. Its a big op and although you can have more children later on it seems a little crazy to get something fixed if you are going to break it again. My advice is to tell physio that your back hurts and you want to be referred to a plastic surgeon be forceful about it and dont take no for an answer. It's 6 years since I had my first baby and my self confidence is in my boots I'm having another baby in a few weeks and then once i've strengthened up a bit shall go back for the surgery I dont want to feel for the rest of my life nor do i want my husband to look at me like that any longer. Be brave hun and get it sorted.xx

Hi all, i was diagnosed with Diastasis Recti when 7 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I have just given birth to her, and am now starting to read up more about this condition. my muscles have separated completely and are currently as far apart as they could possibly get. I have absolutely no energy to carry myself, my back and stomach ache, and i feel like a rag doll. If i stand for more than 10-15 mins at a time i feel like i will collapse, and i am struggling to walk any distance at all. Did anyone else experience these feelings?

I have been told to not lift anything or do any excersize for at least 6 weeks until they knit back together. I cannot believe this will only take 6 weeks - how long did it take for yours to improve?

Hi Ladies,
I am a Personal Trainer, and have been looking into this condition as it seems to be getting more recognised.
Although, at this time, I am in no position to give advice, I have found a course/ licensee which I could study in, to then give training sessions/ classes/ private sessions to help women such as yourself with this condition to recover your tummies.
The course is going to cost quite a lot of money, but once completed I would have dvd's/ books to sell too. I just really wanted to know all of your thoughts whether this would be worth my while persuing and if there is a market out there for these sorts of classes. I would really love all of your thoughts.
Many Thanks!
Good luck to all of you.
Jx

Hi Boosta I had something similar after giving birth. I had a big baby that was too big for me to deliver anturally so ended up with an em. c-section. For some time (at least two months) I couldn't really wlak properly - I couldn't put my feet in parallel to each other while walking (like normal peple do) I had a very pregnant walk far to the left-far to the right as I didn't have any strength in my core muscles what so ever. because all my friends in russia tend to ware corsets after giving birth I decided to do the same and bought a pretty tight post partum corset that you were suppose to ware day and night for several weeks (don't rememeber how long now) The first time I put it on I suddly got my posture and my "walking ability" back it was really wired! I still have DR of about 3-4 fingers and am 16 weeks pregnant (DS is now 18 months). I have started pilates (not a large gym class but a small group with highly trained pilates teacher and we do apparatus piltaes rather than mat work)
I also have started doing Tupler technique exercises as I am really worried that during and after my 2nd pregnancy DR will get even worth and tupler kinda promisses you that you can do her exercises while pregnant and reduce the gap.

I also had SPD (last time it started at 5 monthand this time I am already getting all so familiar pain when only 3.5 months pregnant) and it didn't go away for 4 months after giving birth ...
so for all those reasons (DS and SPD) I opted out for professional pilates class which is actually quite expencive [sad}

10 days ago I had a divarication repair and tummy tuck.

I've got 3 kids aged 7, 5 and 2 1/2 and have had serious issues with my ab wall since bub 2. From soon after my 2nd I worked religiously with a physio/pilates instructor in a rehab environment for ongoing core and back problems. This continued throughout preg no 3 and for 9 months post partum.

At that stage I was carrying weight but looked at least 6 months pregnant and made NO CHANGE whatsoever to the huge separation extending from my breast bone to my belly button, which also protruded further (hernia). I could produce a mountain of a bulge if I did anything like a situp and always felt like I needed to be corseted. I've had mild to moderate morning sickness-like nausea (without vomiting).

After baby 2 I saw a surgeon who wanted to mesh over the gap, but not if I was going to have another.

I stopped going to pilates.
I got amazing results in reducing my gap to what I thought was a mere 2-3 fingers using 2 methods. 1. dvd called "Bounce back fast Post Natal Core Conditioning" Helene Byrne. There was one exercise I did daily sitting cross legged (had to start against a wall as I struggled to sit like this) shoot arms out in front, slide shoulderblades down then lft arms up. You can really feel the muscles being drawn together.

1. fityummymummy.com There were only 2 or 3 things like going back over fit balls or V-ups that I couldn't do, but I've developed amazing core strength, arm strength (so I lift with my arms rather than core) and 2 years on have hips smaller than high school and am very fit and toned - with a HUGE tum. Nearly all exercises I did in pilates so was able to apply good form but with amazing results!

My waist was 2-3 sizes larger than my hips. From the front I looked pretty much straight up and down. If I gave it 60% of my thought I could stand really straight and tall sucking everything in and look good and feel strong. oops, forgot to breathe!!

It was the nausea as well as a feeling of being punched in the stomach at the end of the day that made me ask my gp for a referral. She sent me to a plastic surgeon.

He said my core should be like a circle, with the spine thrown in for support. Mine he described as a horse-shoe hanging off the spine. Nausea is from a nerve being stimulated by 'mobile' organs, ditto for punch like pain when they rub together.

Surgery closed a gap of OVER 15CM above my belly button. The outer muscles were better, but internally they were shot.
He said I could have just a divarication repair utilising my 3 x caesar scar, but a tummy tuck would give the added benefit of tight skin over the front to further protect the newly joined muscles.

The surgery is no walk in the park. 4 nights and nothing like a simple tummy tuck that would be skin only. And far worse than my 3 caesars. I've been repaired both horizontally and vertically, and instantly the nausea is GONE!!!!! Even with all the swelling and bruising I am flat as a tack from my bust to below my belly button. I'm sitting here typing and have noticed my posture - upright with NO EFFORT!!! My core is doing what it is supposed to do. Before kids I never had any memory holding my tum in - meaning above my belly button, and it looks like those days have returned.

I did 2 years of dedicated exercise that WAS working, on top of 3 years with a physio/pilates that wasn't, and my surgeon said I would never be able to close the gap. I wasn't looking at this from a vanity point of view. He explained it was insurance for my back (herniated discs between preg 2 and 3) and ongoing back probs - all related to my disfunctional core.

The very unfortunate part is as others have described - it's considered cosmetic.
In Aust there are some item numbers applied, so private health will foot the hospital costs. The $$$ amount rebated by medicare hasn't changed since the early 70s. no cpi or adjustment whatsoever. We've considered this an investment in my health and very lucky to have the ability to pay.

Hope this is helpful.

I'm 4 days post-op and I've just found this thread. In a way I'm glad I didn't read it before as I'm quite shocked by the experiences of some of the posters.
Thought I'd share my story -
I have two DC's, aged 3 and 1. I carried both babies very low down and 'out front'. I'm fairly slim and had a flat stomach before having children, and recovered well after my first child. My second pregnancy was much more uncomfortable - my midwife diagnosed divarication and told me to get a physio referral after the birth. I ended up with an 8-finger gap in my stomach muscles and headed off hopefully to the physio 2 months later. I did my exercises and the muscles below my belly button seemed to come together, however the gap above did not change at all.
After 3 months the head of the phsyio dept told me there was no point in coming back; I should just carry on with the exercises. She said I could possibly go to my GP when my son was at least one and kick up a stink but it was unlikely that I would get surgery on the NHS. Basically their view was that I would just have to live with it.
Months passed and things didn't improve. I had a bulging lump that stuck out over my belly button and loads of saggy wrinkled skin underneath. It was uncomfortable and I had a lot of associated back pain and general weakness. When lying on my back you could clearly see a wide section of exposed bowel/intestine moving - hideous! I couldn't be as active as I wanted to be and found it difficult lifting and cuddling my children. I felt disfigured and depressed but didn't know what to do.

In June my husband went to see our GP and she asked how I was getting on. He mentioned the problem and she told him to get me to see her immediately. She examined me and told me I basically had a huge hernia which no amount of exercise was going to cure and referred me immediately to a general surgeon. She was at the physio's attitude.

So, I saw the surgeon in July at our local hosp. Still had the physio's words ringing in my ears so was expecting a negative response and had armed myself with a list of reasons for needing surgery. My appointment couldn't have lasted 5 minutes - he basically looked at my tummy and said 'no problem, we'll sort that out for you.' I did have to push for details but was told that they would bring the muscles (recti) together with mesh and perform an abdominoplasty which was essential to the success of the operation. He said there was a chance I might lose my belly button and emphasised that he was not a plastic surgeon but that they would do the best job possible. I'm sure he also said that it would be a transverse scar of 10-12cm.
I was over the moon, especially as I had not expected that they would agree to deal with the loose skin (much less that it was considered an integral part of the procedure).
In my pre-op appointment I asked about the site scar but the response was cautiously vague. It was clear that as this was medical necessity rather than a private cosmetic procedure they weren't going to discuss or commit to details, which on balance seemed fair given the other benefits. I still felt grateful that they were going to deal with it at all, even more so now having read this thread.

So, here I am. I have a 20cm vertical wound (not the transverse 12cm one!). Obviously it's early days and I have dressings and swelling in the way but certainly my tummy is noticeably flatter and smoother. I spent two nights in hospital - the first 24hrs were horrendous - lots of morphine and bedpans as I couldn't get up. Then the pain got more bearable and I quickly felt much better. I know to expect 2/3 weeks doing very little and 4/6 weeks without lifting but I'm surprised by how mobile I am, even though feeling sore and a bit wobbly.

I'm so glad I did this, even though I can't see the finished result yet. I know I couldn't have put up with the alternative indefinitely. It just seems very sad that some people have had to battle so hard to help or, bewilderingly, have been refused parts of the procedure that I was told were essential to success.

Hi all, I have this condition too. I had 2 DCs through C/sections. I did the test for myself to measure the gap and it was 3-4 fingers below the belly button. My midwife did say I should get a physio after the baby. But, I thought the hospital would do it like a normal routine for me. But, they haven't. My youngest is nearly 3 and I just started brisk walk for 35-40 mins every day(5day week just walking back home after leaving my child at school). I found the gap has almost gone, under the belly button. But, still have got the 2-3 finger gap just on top of the belly button. But, there is atleast 2-3 inch hang of the stomach and just around the belly button it looks as if there is that hollowness. Just don't know what it is.I still look I'm atleast 5-6month pregnant.

I have been to see the doc in august. she said I have no diastasis and said some times the stomach doesn't go back to it's post pregnancy state. We just have to live with it kind of. I asked her if she could refer me to a physio. But yo know what she said, physio won't be able to help my condition. I just have to join a gym and get advice from the gym people.Very helpful wasn't she.Rightly said, it's very sad and unfair that some of us have to struggle even get a good advice. Some docs say, like mine, we just have to live with it.

So if anyone is looking for reducing the muscles gap walking should just be fine.Just make sure it is brisk walk and may be tie your tummy with a long scarf around to support it.

Good luck to every one. And please post here, if some one has got their stomach back to normal, what you did to go back to normal.I have been reading like mad all over internet to find out the ways to get back to normal pre-baby stomach.

Hi Lightlyscrambled, Honeydew & Hugetum

I am so happy and yet sad to have found all of these other women with the same problem as myself. It is very reassuring although sad to know that I am not alone with the problems that I have and the battles I am having to fight trying to even get some acknowledgement or help for the diastasis recti and hernia that I have. I have four children under 6 and want to feel strong again without the same aches and pains that everyone else mentions. I see that you mentioned a plastic surgeon at Guys Hospital. I am now desperate as the GP and consultant surgeon I have met do not want to acknowledge the DR problem, only the hernia, even though I can get 5 fingers in the gap in my stomach. Please, please could either of you give me the name of the consultant/s that you have seen, so I can at least get a referral to him as he has an understanding of my condition.
If anyone else can advise me of another consultant/plastic surgeon where I could get a referral via the NHS, please, please could you let me know!! Ps. I live in West Sussex, but would travel anywhere to get the right help!

Thanks to all and good luck
Lindis

Hi all
I am waiting for a date for my hernia repair op and having read lots of messages I quizzed my surgeon about the whys and hows of hernia and diastasis rectii repair on the NHS.
Here's what I have figured out over the past few years.
Diastasis rectii occurs as the progesterone that causes ligaments to soften also allows stretching of the connective tissue between the rectus abdominus muscles - the long muscles running up your front. This connective tissue can over-stretch so it doesn't shrink back post-pregnancy so even if you have strong muscles the connective tissue isn't holding them together properly. Also the skin can overstretch and doesn't have the elasticity to go back to its original form, hence the saggy belly. Add to this fat moving to your tummy area during pregnancy, it's not surprising we see what we do :(
Unfortunately the NHS doesn't consider this to be anything other than a cosmetic problem and this is where the GP response can be to tell the patient it's just one of things . Having strong stomach muscles will improve it and I suspect very few of us are actually doing enough of the right exercises and properly to make the difference and that is because we're exhausted and time poor through looking after children/being pregnant/juggling life work balance etc :( I have noticed a change in mine over the past couple of years, so time does help a bit. The surgical solution to this is plastic surgery - abdominoplasty or a tummy tuck.

Now, different to diastasis rectii is that some people end up with a hernia. This is where bowel/intestines poke through a break in the muscles/connective tissue. You can feel a hard lump and when you lie flat and cough it bulges up. This is considered a medical problem and you should be offered surgery to repair it. If it doesn't get repaired there is a potential issue with strangulation of the intestines and an emergency operation will be needed . On the NHS the hernia can be repaired but the diastasis rectii and stretched skin won't, BUT if you have both and see the right surgeon/surgical team - this will probably be a plastic surgeon and general surgeon working together - they may take the view that they can do all of it at once when they do the hernia repair . It is a much bigger operation and recovery is longer than just for hernia repair. You probably end up with a bigger scar, but it's horizontal and located where c-section scars are so mostly out of sight, compared to vertical and on your tummy for an umbilical hernia repair. A friend recently had an umbilical hernia repaired by a general surgeon who she asked to try and 'tidy' things up a bit, and he did have a go but she doesn't think the results are great so I think it's worth bearing in mind that you really need a plastic surgeon's skills to get a good outcome for improving stomach shape.
The view of the wonderful plastic surgeon who I have dealt with is that the diastasis rectii op should be available on the NHS and that for women post-natally the psychologists attached to his plastic surgery unit find that the bulging tummy effect is much more traumatic than any other post-natal body change, including saggy breasts etc and has a major impact on well-being and how you live your life - eg taking kids swimming and any activity that reveals your tummy and so on :(
I have ended up with a combined plastic and general surgeon through sheer fluke - my referral got bounced on through various people; it has taken me a year to see all the right people once I got the referral and has been very frustrating, especially with the battle I initially had with GPs at my surgery to actually get a referral. Even though I had a previously diagnosed umbilical hernia following my first pregnancy and not 'just' diastasis rectii, they failed to examine me properly and didn't agree with me and I had to see 3 different GPs before I could get a referral to see a surgeon .
Although I am enormously grateful that I have this opportunity of dealing with the entire problem I am now increasingly worried about the surgery as I am under no illusions over how painful and debilitating it will be, never mind the whole concept of a general anaesthetic and risks associated with that. Also bizarrely, and this is something I really can't get my head around , I am also uncomfortable about having that saggy chunk of my stomach cut away. I think it looks hideous and I wish it wasn't there but I hate the idea that a bit of me will be missing, I suppose I basically wish the whole thing hadn't happened and left me where it does which is clearly not a useful/realistic way to be thinking.

Anyway, a very long message, sorry, but I hope it helps some of you.
LTSal

Sorry, I meant to say that doing the right exercises should improve it a bit, but they can't do anything about the overstretched connective tissue.
LTSal

Hi LTSal,
Thank you for the information. To save me going through all of what you have already gone through on top of the three and a half years of GPs, Surgeon, Physio and others that I have already seen, please please could you give me the name and location of the plastic surgeon that you are about to see? I need this so that I can force my GP & Surgeon to give me a referal as I am in lots of pain, have a recognised hernia and Im desperate to feel whole again! I understand that you may not want to give a name on a notice board, so please use the email to my company, as I work everyday with people with bumps! [email protected]
Good luck on the operation and please let us know how it went for you
A huge thanks and good luck,
Lindis

That's a great sum-up LTSal, you really have had to learn it all the hard way haven't you? Well done for persisting for all those referrals & for sharing your experience! A place where you can find a TONNE of information on diastasis recti & all the other reasons for a protruding, sticking out post-baby tummy... is at mutusystem.com Surgery is a last resort (obviously) but there is a hell of a lot you can do as well. The right corrective exercise can bring the muscles back together and the connective tissue will come back with them. Blah blah I'll shut up - I witter on about this on the blog all the time so take a look if you?re interested!

Hi I am expecting my 3rd baby I have just found out and I am panicking as I had this condition with my last child and it took me months to repair my stomach muscles, I looked awful, and was often asked if I was due soon. I am only 6 weeks pg ATM and I would really love it if there was something I could do to prevent this from happening this time does anyone have any advice?

Hi I'm new to mumsnet and just wondered if anybody out there had recently had or will be having an abdominoplasty and combined hernia op? Have read the comments from other mumsnetters and can say that i have had the same experience as so many of you. Rejections, referals, physio, counselling, you name it, however, 3 years after my little girl, and 8 years!!! after my son, i'm finally getting my op this feb. It's been a very long road but i am extremely excited and a little bit scared and could do with a bit of moral support from anyone out there who has gone through the same.

Thanku v much

love wondermuman x

Hi
here I am, 5 days post surgery. OK I'm going to be honest here and not gloss over anything because I don't want people to think this is a walk in the park, so if you're squeamish, look away now. the surgery I have had is an umbilical hernia repair, my rectus muscles brought back together and my abdominal skin has been pulled down and re-shaped (abdominoplasty). My initial thoughts: I have a scar running from hip to hip, probably 30 cm; i feel very full, like i have eaten an enormous meal and have a child sitting on my stomach (this lasted about 4 days and is starting to subside); i already feel i have a stronger core, my stomach is pretty flat and more or less all of my over-stretched skin has gone; the drains I had for a couple of days post-op are hideous and having them removed is awful, but i think it's the thought of it which is worse than the actuality. My tummy button may not survive as it didn't have a very good blood supply, only time will tell. It can be reconstructed if necessary and is more of a concern to me than my surgeon. keeping pain under control is really important and has been so brilliantly managed by the hospital that i can't say i have been in pain. having small children around is nerve racking as i'm expecting to be jumped on any minute and I really can't cope with that, so thank goodness for local grandparents. the actual wound is pretty numb, i had expected that though. The surgeons and nurses at the Royal Free Hospital who looked after me are incredible and being cared for by them and seeing their dedication is a humbling experience. Having a plastic surgeon, as opposed to a general surgeon, lead the repair has been key. Maybe I'll update again in a week or so. LTSal

Hi,

I've read all of the messages here and can't help getting the sinking feeling that all these issues of divarification of the recti and umbilical hernia etc. is just not recognised as something worth treating. I'm due a 2nd opinion from another (general not plastic) surgeon next week and am starting to feel defeated already. After 3 babies in 3 years (youngest is now nearly 5)I was left with an umbilical hernia that I didn't even know was an umbilical hernia for about 3 1/2 years. With hindsight it really wasn't so bad and if I could to back to having just that I would. So first of all I was referred to a surgeon who merrily says it's very easily fixed and when would I like it done?? I naively booked myself in for the op (12 months ago)and expect to have a nice flat tummy afterwards (I'm not overweight thank goodness). After things settled down post op I realised I'd been left with a massive bulge above the belly-button that is hard and uncomfortable and varies in size from slight protrusion to becoming about the size of a big potato. Having been back twice to the surgeon who did the op. I have got no satisfaction - or explanation as to what exactly has happened - he doesn't deny that the bulge is there but has not offered to have it fixed. I feel very let down as the possibility of whatever has happened was never mentioned. I'm off to see this 2nd guy next week but feeling a bit despondent as it seems that the only thing surgeons care about is the hernia and how you actually look doesn't seem to matter. I feel I'll have to prostrate myself on the floor of his consulting room and refuse to leave unless he agrees to operate if I want any chance of surgery. On the other hand maybe they don't do the surgery for good reason i.e. lots of pain and possible complications with no guaranteee of success???? So what to do??? It really is not just about pure vanity - I am just really depressed with the discomfort it causes and feeling that people are looking at this bulge. I'm 43 and the thought of this being with me for the rest of my life is truly depressing.

Hi irishmumto3
So sorry to hear your situation and how it's making you feel. As far as I can work out the separated muscle part is considered a purely cosmetic issue by the powers that be in the NHS, even though reading this thread and my personal experience is that it is at least uncomfortable, can be painful and, according to the surgeon who just did my (umbilical hernia and diastasis rectii) repairs, will probably get worse with age. The operation to fix the diastasis is initially more debilitating than a simple hernia repair but the long term prognosis in terms of core strength etc is much better. I am now 3 weeks post surgery having had hernia fixed, diastasis fixed and abdominoplasty. It's a pretty brutal op and I definitely still need time to get my head around how my body looks now; the diastasis bulge has gone and all the loose skin, superficially it looks good and internally I feel much stonger already, I have muscle function back, ie when i try and pull in my abdominal muscles they do actually move, but I have a huge scar running from hip to hip and another around my tummy button, which will take time to fade. It's been pretty tough on my partner and family to deal with me being unable to do anything - no lifting, pushing pushchair etc and I will have had 4 weeks off work, but i am feeling much better every day and hugely relieved it's over. And, very importantly glad i had it done now (I'm 41) so i will get the benefit of healing while I am youngish (!) and also the benefit of being stronger and happier while my children are still small. I'm sorry to say I think you will struggle to get further treatment if you continue to be referred to random general surgeons as they have already fixed the umbilical hernia and will be essentally blind to the remaining problem, i.e. bound by NHS rules and possibly it's out of their field of expertise, especially if you see a Registrar rather than a Consultant. The NHS only considers the hernia part to be the medical necessity, but this is something which most women with diastasis would strongly disagree with as far as i can see. I don't know where in the UK you're based but I would really recommend you either try to get a referral to the plastic surgeon who treated me or the general surgeon I was originally referred to who bounced my referral onto the plastic surgeon because they routinely work together in a combined surgery team. I have no idea how much lee-way an individual surgeon has or how my diagnosis compares to yours, it may be that you would get different advice to me from the same surgeon, however I feel very strongly that it should be something all women with hernia, diastasis etc should have access to - we should have bodies that function well in order to live our lives well, it's not about outside appearance, it's about core strength. I have a friend who is a medic and she is firmly of the opinion that if it was men giving birth and encountering these sorts of complications the services provided by the NHS would look very different. I know the NHS has finite resources but this is a long term condition with potential to have a big impact on a woman's well-being. Contact me off-thread if you want to discuss further, I've rambled on quite long enough here!
good luck, LTSal

Hi LTSal, well I went to see the surgeon last Friday and far from having to beg for surgery he looked and immediately said I had quite a large hernia (totally separate to the original umbilical one) and definitely needed surgery. He does laparoscopic surgery as opposed to the other guy who did full surgery. He didn't say in plain English that my other surgeon messed up but did say that repairing an umbilical hernia only, in a woman who has had children never works in his experience and that he would have strengthened the whole area. So that is what he said he is going to do in 2 weeks time - as well as opening up my scar from last year to allow for loose skin to be tidied up and my bellybutton "repositioned" which I can't quite visualise. He said that there is absolutely no question but that the hernia needs to be sorted out soon so at least I feel vindicated in going for a 2nd opinion and someone feels it's bad enough to operate. I was terrified I was going to be stuck with this forever. I'm not even going to contemplate the possibility that this won't work and while I know it will be very painful, that will pass and hopefully by summertime I'll be back to normal and able to enjoy life again!! I think you're right though, that if this was a problem that affected men it would get more attention and sympathy. I'm still raging that my old consultant surgeon dismissed my concerns.

That is great news - so pleased for you! and only 2 weeks to wait. I hope that gives you time to arrange help with the children - at least they are old enough that you won't need to be lifting and pushing them around. And laparascopic surgery should be a fast recovery, what a great result! But a big grrr with the other surgeon, and all healthcare professionals who are dismissing this condition . I'm sure it will be a massive relief for you - I now feel I can really move on and look forward, good luck with it all .

Had the op. 4 weeks ago tomorrow and so far I'm really happy with the result. I only stayed in one night after the surgery and I'm glad I did as I was in a lot of pain. Slowly but surely I am almost back to my normal self - I could hardly walk for the first week but day by day things have improved. I have a mesh inserted across my full abdomen to hold everything together as due to the divarification none of the muscles near the middle of my stomach were holding anything in. My belly button has been stitched down and I look dare I say it almost normal. I managed to stand in front of a mirror and not hate how I looked for the first time in 5 years. Just like you I feel I can get on with things now and not worry about this any more. In about a month I'm going to get back to exercise and get in shape for summer. I'm so glad I went back for the second opinion. Thanks for your replies earlier.

Just joined Mumsnet cos a friend sent me a link to this thread. I'm 50 and after my second child was born in 1991 I got a small umbilical hernia below the belly button. I had it surgically repaired in 1993 and was left with a "smile" scar under the belly button. Over the years another hernia appeared above the belly button until I could feel a large lump of intestine bulging out. Last year I had a second hernia repair. The surgeon used the old scar below the belly button but didn't warn me that this would mean cutting through the stalk of the belly button as he rolled back the flesh to reached the hernia above the belly button. He put a mesh in to cover the gap between the muscles. After the op I developed a seroma (fluid filled lump) in the space under the skin. One day I sensed a popping feeling and my belly button, normally pulled in like a button on a cushion, suddenly became level with the rest of my very distended abdomen. The surgeon refused to drain it (risk of infection) but a second surgeon said it was more risky to leave and removed 80ml of fluid covering me with antibiotic prophylaxis. But I have a huge pregnant-looking bulge centrally above my belly button. The second surgeon confirmed I have "divarication of the recti" which has worsened again and another small hernia is present even higher up. I was referred to a plastic surgeon to consider a possible joint procedure by both surgeons - abdominoplasty and stitching the muscles together and a deeper mesh covering the hernias. However I am diabetic and the plastic surgeon wont do a full abdominoplasty as he says the skin may not heal well. He is also worried about getting to the hernias above the belly button as he can't cut the belly button stalk again and wont cut round the belly button as that may be the only blood supply to it. Of course there is further risk of another seroma. I am finally being offered a keyhole procedure to put a longer mesh deeper across the divarication to correct the hernias. But I want to get rid of the huge bulge. I got on a train (with my 19 and 22 year old kids) and got offered a seat cos I look pregnant! My tummy is huge. When I eat it bulges even more. I cannot go for a a job interview as I look pregnant or it is obvious I have a medical problem. Either way no-one will employ me and my self-confidence is in tatters. I have had a lot of medical problems over the years and more than enough surgery to last a lifetime. Why is this such a difficult issue to deal with? The original surgeon never discussed anything with me and didn't even do a scan. I had no idea about divarication of recti before the second opinion. Being diabetic makes it all worse but there must be someone who can help me?

Just marking my place so I can read this properly tomorrow. I was still 2 fingers separated in October (when DC2 was 10months old) when I fell pregnant with DC3 so who knows what state my stomach is going to be in after this one arrives.

Im in the process of trying to get my dr sorted and 3 hernias, I had a very disappointing apptmnt with the first consultant who laughed at my condition and said they would repair hernias but that dr was cosmetic and i would have to pay privatly. I was then refered to another general surgeon who after alot of coaxing and persistence from my husband agreed to refer me to a plastic surgeon to discuss hernia repair and possible dr repair, I have two children under 2 and have a job in a behaviour school where i have to restrain pupils at times i also have a condition with my back. I too like the majority who post on here have a horrid pregnant bulge my baby is 7 months old and i still look about 6 months gone, i am a size 10/12 so this makes my stomach look even more noticable, it affects me every day as i cannot wear tight fitting tops I have to look for clothes that are baggy and hide my bump, i am awaiting an appointment to see the plastic surgeon and just hope and pray they offer me the repair of the dr. It has been really helpful to read this thread and know i am not on my own, it seems all my friends that have had babies have bounced back to their normal shapes and its just me that looks like this. oh would love to know how wondermuman got on in feb?