I have a spearated abdomen, also called 'Diastasis Recti'

[honeydew]

After giving birth to my third child a year ago, I have a post partum condtion known as 'Diastasis Recti' which means my abdomen has separated due to pressure on it from my uterus. I have had large babies in quick sucession. I have had 1 vaginal birth and 2 sections (1 emergency) I have to have major surgery next year as my body will not heal anymore by itself. My abdomnen needs stitching back together, my umbilical hernia popped back in and I get a free tummy tuck thrown in! I still look 4 months pregnant, have to wear large flowing tops or maternity clothes and am often in pain.It's not easy when you have three children of four and under to care for! My surgeon says he sees cases like mine every other week. Is there anyone else who suffers from this debilitating problem and what have been your experiences?

Hi everyone

My post-surgery stomach looks remarkably like the old one - ie I STILL look pg and the hernia bulge is still there. ???? So when I am sure the post-op swelling is gone, I will go back to the GP to whine/ask for some sort of explanation.

I am baffled as to why my surgeon said he didn't do the DR surgery because 'it doesn't work and there is no point' if everyone else is having it - ????

In the meantime I've got the Tupler book so that I can try and work on my mummy tummyfeel, however spuriously, like I am doing something. (If that doesn't work, there was meant to be strikethrough in there.)

Glad to hear knocking off the painkillers helped, notsohugetum. Personally I found codeine made me as sick as a dog so almost anything else was preferable.

It's great, as ever, to hear from everyone else in this boat. The Tupler book claims that an incredible 98% of post-partum women have a diastasis - can this be true??????

Okay - off to audition long, flowing tops in my wardrobe as I returned to work last week and since my baby is almost 1, they were ill-prepared for my arrival with huge distended tum. At least no one has asked if I am pg yet but watch this space....

Hi hugetum and dorindabrown-

how is your recovery now? I am due my operation in just under 3 weeks and am thinking I want to back out. I know I have a hernia which needs repair and I am so disfigured, but I'm too scared of not waking up after the surgery or bleeding to death. I had to have a drain put in after my last c section so I need to see my surgeon first about cutting me on the same scar, as my scar tissue is thick.

what was you experience of general anaesthetic like? I've only had spinal block, and so fear go under. The fear is overwhelming me at the moment and right now, I want to cancel it.

When you woke up were you actually sick/ How did you feel when you came round? I've been told it's a bit weird because you only feel llke you've been asleep for 5 minutes!

I hope you are both recovering well. I just feel so nervous and scared- I;ve got three little kids and keep thinking I shouldn't go ahead, it's too risky.

How does this compare to a C- Section? I've had both, emergency and Elective.

thanks for you help and keep us posted as to how things are going

Just spotted this and really relieved because I was thinking of posting on this subject.

I haven't read all the posts yet (but will do) but I am a bit confused about my own situation. I don't think I actually have DR now because I can only feel a gap of about 1 finger (10 months after giving birth) and the underlying muscle feels fairly firm. My tummy, however, is a different story. I have a deep verticle line from my navel to my pubic bone and a floppy horizontal section of skin just above my pubic bone.

I haven't been doing specific abdominal exercises for DR or otherwise so I'm going to start doing that. I hope to start TTC again in a couple of months so I am a bit worried about permanent damage.

It sounds like my situation is relatively minor and I really feel for all of you with more serious problems. Obviously I want to avoid a more serious situation in the future. Any thoughts/experience greatly appreciated.

another one grateful for this thread -I have a 5-finger gap I think from ds1 and am due with dc2 any day. Can't quite face the look of my tummy afterwards. Think I will go into hiding for a while.

honeydew

Obviously I can't talk from an expert's perspective about the level of seriousness of the operation. I found it more painful than a Caesarean, but that was just a personal experience and I think for some people, it's not such a big deal.

Re the general anaesthetic - going to sleep and waking up again didn't feel that strange, although I had been nervous about the idea. So that was fine. But the nausea was a problem - it didn't come on straightaway but built up gradually, so it was actually worst when I had gone home from hospital.

The nausea COMBINED with the cramping pain was unpleasant, as it was painful to vomit (sorry about TMI) and I was afraid to take the painkillers in case I was then sick and they didn't get absorbed into my bloodstream. So that was all horrible, but as soon as I got back into hospital they fixed it by giving me a different painkiller and an anti-emetic and after that everything was fine.

So my key advice is: don't make the mistake of leaving hospital until you're SURE you are on the mend. If you are still in a lot of pain, make sure you stay where you are where you can get decent painkillers - otherwise you will just have to get re-referred to hospital, which is more difficult. And remember that your experience may be much less uncomfortable than mine was, with any luck.

Honeydew,

Hi, thank you for asking but l feel alot better, still a little sore , and hardly any nausea. Regarding the general anaesthetic, l totally understand your fear, l had the same feeling and it is quite understandable, because with the caesarian at least you are awake and can see what is happening. If l can reassure you in any way, have faith in god. If you are reasonably healthy, then the operation is quite straight forward. I don't know your medical history, and this is something that you should talk to the consultant about if you have some concerns. You mentioned you had a drain put in after your caesarian, some people bleed a bit more than others. I had 2 drains put in for this stomach op, and they stayed in for at least 5 days, it's normally for 3 days.

Please don't back out now, if l could show you how much this op has changed my life for the better. Yes you will feel discomfort for a few weeks but everyone is different. When l had my c -section in july 08, l was walking around on the 2nd day, but on the 3rd day l "keeled" over and was stooping to get to the toilet. The dr's told me that during the c-section, they noticed that my muscles were very loose and they said they put in a couple of stitches to hold the muscles in place. That pain was excruciating, and it took me 4 days before l could walk up straight.

So when l read that this op would take me almost 9/10 days before l would be walking straight upright, l knew what to expect. HOWEVER after l had this op l was AMAZED that l was walking upright on the 2nd day!!!!yes believe me , and yes there was a degree of pain and discomfort but not compared to what l experienced last year..that was awful.

I had this bedside buzzer that when pressed gave me a shot of morphine as and when l needed it, however it made me sick straight afterwards, and then the nurses had to give me anti sickness injection, the other painkillers were bearable but can give nausea. YOU WILL BE OK, TRUST ME, IF l OF ALL PEOPLE CAN GET THROUGH THIS, SO CAN YOU!! It's not as bad as child birth. Just have faith, we all have negative thoughts because it's a major operation you are having and not a walk in the park, but you will be fine.

If you have particular medical problems, which can complicate a surgery then you should discuss with your consultant and they will advise you if it is risky. I have been thinking about your op Aug 3rd???.

For me it is like winning the lottery, because the op has given me a new lease of life, l look normal, and l avoid getting those sympathetic looks from people "oh look she's expecting"!. Have faith Honeydew, what's a few weeks of discomfort compared to a lifetime of misery of having to explain to people that you are not pregnant. Realistically the pain was not bad for me compared to the nausea l experienced. The painkillers kill the pain but do cause nausea.

Just do it!!! Be strong and have faith.

Notsohugetum

HI Hugetum- not hugetum!

Thanks for the advice. When I had my second C Section 2 years ago, they put a drain in because I bled so much. The surgeon told me not have any more children because of the internal scarring.

So I will discuss my concerns with my surgeon next week as he told me they would cut on the same line. I'm not scared of the pain so much- I had an obstructed labour with my second child and had an emergency section. I as very sick with all my pregnancies and vomited at least twice a day for four months with all three of them, so I'm no stranger to sick!

I've been doing some research on tummy tucks and all the dangers and have probably scared myself too much about what can go wrong. I keep shaking and I've had some nightmares about death.

I'm an active Christian and have spent time at church praying so that God can give me the strength of mind I need to do it and be brave. It's funny that I didn't have any real fears when I have my Elective section but this terrifying me. I think, mostly due to the general so not being conscious.

With my sections I was up and about in two or three days- albeit slowly so I keep thinking- yes it will be like my sections in someways perhaps.

Thanks for your encouragement and yes, my op is due Aug 3rd, although I still head cold which I've been trying to shake off. I dodwant the op- the discomfort is awful ,so one minute I think yes just do it and the next I loose my nerve. I'm seeing the surgeon next Friday at my pre-op assessment and discus my concerns.

Glad to hear you're healing well- how are you finding childcare? I've got my in-laws taking mine for a week and my DH taking them for a week as well, so I get a fortnight. Not easy in some ways doing this in the school holidays, although at least we don;t have to worry about the school run and my DS's pre-school mornings.

Look after yourself and so glad to hear your life has really improved- I've just got to get through this fear barrier and trust my life to Jesus. Both you and dorindabrown have been a real help and support.

I have about 2cm gap too, which didn't close up after DD and I'm due to have DC2 very soon. I didn't do any post-pregnancy exercises last time as my GP told me it would just close up on its own, but it didn't so will make more effort this time and maybe have physio if need be.

I read this article in the Times last weekend where Annabel Heseltine had a similar operation. Her scar is below the bikini line but she had it privately, and primarily as a comsetic procedure, so it might be different on the NHS.

I read about this lady's operation as well but she had it done privately. I don't know if she would have qualified for repair surgery under the NHS but it seems not. She sounds much happier though and she looks lovely which is great.

Hi Hugetum(notsohugetum),

Thanks for replying. So glad to hear that you're feeling much better now.
I'm not quite sure why I'll have a vertical cut during my opration, the consultant didn't explain why either...are you allowed the option of having a vertical or horizontal cut or are there reasons as to one is carried out in preference to the other? I think (and also my GP) I have a hernia too, that was one of the reasons why my GP referred me to a consultant for the op. To tell you the truth I'm happy to have been given permission for the operation as I've had a bit of hard work convincing 2 consultants I am 'worthy' of the op.
On my initial visit, I saw one of the General Surgeons who, after asking me to get down to my underwear in front of a nursing assistant and a trainee, agreed that although i had diastasis recti and that there was an operation available, he would not recommend it in my case because in some patients the long term results are not so good. He then said goodbye, walked off and left me to put my clothes on! To say I was angry and ashamed is an understatement. Anyway, I went home and the next day wrote to this surgeon specifally stating that I would still like the op. I was then referred to a Professor who has agreed to me having the op on the basis I lose a stone(all my weight is on my stomach) and have no more kids. (The cheeky git has jotted in my notes that I have a BMI of 30 indicating obesity and asked if the man I am with at the moment is the father to all 4 of my children, if i am married, how long i have been with my current partner...yes, I know). My GP has since worked out my BMI as 26 and has stressed that I am not overweight all over but that my tummy is where I carry all my weight. Anyway, I'm going on a bit now, but my hernia has never come into the conversations at the hospital. i've read on previous posts that some ladies have had this repaired alongside their diastasis. Also, no tuck was mentioned so I am sort of worried i'm gonna have even more loose sagging skin on top of the loads i already have!!!
Hugetum, could you offer me some advice on the above please? Are there any websites you recommend?
Thanks in advance!

I had this after having twins. I am short and they were pretty big. I got it fixed on my health insurance, as it was sort of a hernia...but didn't get the tummy tuck done. (Stupidly...) I have since lost loads of weight so muscles are great have a waist again etc...but loads of skin so going to have a tummy tuck now...
i was the same, looked pregnant, very barrel like until i had it done. It took 8 weeks until I could lift the kids after hte op though, they were 8 months then. they tell you 6 weeks, but it does take longer, it's quite a hard op...take loads of arnica! Before and after.

Soneliz,

This sounds very different from my experience of dealing with the surgeons involved with my case.

I have a very protruding abdomen, a large hernia and Diastasis Recti. The general surgeon looked at me initially and said that if he repaired me vertically, I would be left with a poor result and then referred me on to a plastic surgeon who normally only does private work.

He then examined me and said he could do the op for free because of my hernia, DR and disfigurement. I am eligible for the operation on the NHS. This would involve a tummy tuck (abdominopplasty) as well. Otherwise, I would be left with all saggy skin.

I am due to have the hernia repaired at the same time as everything else and is one of the main reasons I can have plastic surgery on the NHS.

I am very surprised they asked you such personal and seemingly pointless questions! I have never been asked by any surgeon/assistant about my marital status, (except on a form) or parentage of my kids,etc This does not sound right and a huge invasion of your privacy.

It does seem to me as if it's a bit of a postcode lottery as to what the NHS can offer you. Would this op be done at your local hospital?

I'm glad you persuaded them that you needed the op, but perhaps go back to the surgeon and see if you can get the tummy tuck done too at the same time. I don't know how how badly the DR has affected you but you could also discuss the loss of self esteem and the impact the problem has had on you life.

I do know the tummy tucks don't help you loose weight as such, they just trim of the excess. Perhaps they want you to loose weight first to ensure a better result?

Make sure you get an explanation as to exactly why they are doing a vertical cut. They are known not to give such good results and there must be a reason. Push to get referred on to a good plastic surgeon if you are in any doubt. A horizontal cut is far better from what I've heard and less painful.

Like hugetum, my case is quite severe and so I qualify for the corrective surgery. I really do look about 6 months pregnant, am often in discomfort/pain and if I do nothing the problem will long term affect my posture. So I think it does depend on how bad the Diastasi is. The NHS are pretty mean when it comes to helping women with these types of problems unless you are either obviously disfigured or in need of essential surgery.

It certainly sounds like you need the op because of the hernia if nothing else and you should be entitled to the same treatment as myself, hugetum and dorindabrown.

I would advise that you definately go back to your GP/ surgeon and go through it all again- the hernia, the DR, possible tummy tuck and weight issue they have raised. It does sound like they do not think that you have a strong case because of your BMI and are trying to save money by a offering you an inferior and poorer cosmetic procedure.

But that would appear unfair and wrong, although I do not know your medical history so can only make assumptions here.

Perhaps they are offering you abdominal reconstruction which is NOT the same as a tummy tuck unfortunately. I don't think abdominal reconstruction is regarded as cosmetic surgery, just general surgery but I'm not 100% sure. So for this surgery you wouldn't get the expertise of a plastic surgeon. This is only what I have loosely gleaned from my general knowledge, so I could be wrong!I t could be they are offering to repair the hernia only? Hence the vertical cut?

I would advise that you find out precisely and explain that women you have come across are being offered the full hernia and DR repair, coupled with a horizontal tummy tuck on the NHS.

Perhaps get checked out again and push for what you want and need. Good luck and get back to us with any news.

Hi Honeydew,
It looks as if I was right to feel that there was an invasion of my privacy when the consultant asked me about my marital status etc...and feel that this has no bearing whatsoever as to whether I qualify for an operation on the NHS.
Honeydew, I too have a protuding and very disfigured abdomen. I was diagnosed with diastasis recti in fact after having my 2nd child. Exercise has rectified the problem in subsequent births but it was during my last pregnancy my hernia was noticed at an antenatal check up. This too was noticed by my GP at my 6 week post natal check. Like you too Honeydew, I suffer terribly with low self esteem, poor posture and at times agonising back ache (may I add that my consultant has told me backache is not a symptom of diastasis recti???).
The surgery I believe is classed as General Surgery and not cosmetic. It would also be carried out at my local hospital - the Derriford in Plymouth. However, I do believe the hospital does carry out cosmetic surgery on a private basis so maybe I could push to see one of the cosmetic surgeons there?
You're right that I should maybe see the consultant again and get an explanantion of the operation itself and the reasons why I am being offered a vertical incision as from what I have read about your case and others I am in exactly the same boat in regards to symptoms etc...Thank you very much for your time and advice Honeydew. It has certainly helped. Hope all goes well for you and I'll keep you posted as to how I get on in pursuing my case.
Good Luck

Hi Soneliz,

Like Honeydew, the only way l managed to get my op on the NHS is that they called it an abdominal reconstruction and not abdominoplasty ( which is cosmetic ) and hernia repair. My dr was very good in referring me to a general surgeon. Yes l too got down to my panties in front of a nursing assistant. He examined my hernia, at this stage l had emotionally broken down and could not stop crying because the whole disfigurement thing was too much. He then called in another surgeon who happened to be a plastic surgeon, who recommended me for the BIG OP. Recommending you to lose weight is good because then you will get the maximum effect of a tummy tuck, alternatively losing weight after the surgery you can end up with loose skin around the stomach. A vertical cut suggests that only repair of the hernia is involved, as far as l know a tummy tuck involves a horizontal scar hip to hip. Please do clarify with your surgeon what exactly are they going to do. I had done alot of reading on the internet and asked them whether l was having a mesh put in for my hernia and whether l would also be getting liposuction thrown in!!!! Yes alright l know l was pushing my luck abit. If you don't ask you won't get. Dorindabrown l really felt for you when you woke up and found your stomach still there, there had obviously been a misunderstanding what they were going to do. Abdominoplasty is considered as plastic surgery but there are ways round it, if surgeons can get around the NHS thing by calling it abdominal reconstruction and therefore the whole thing falling under "general surgery" then surely it would go under the insurance claim???? If you can get your dr to write a good referral to the PS, you are half way there. There are lots of factors they consider for abdominal reconstruction ie psychological effect, weight, if you intend to have more kids.

They asked me my whole med history. Maybe they felt sorry for me, l had in total six pregnancies, 3 healthy, 1 miscarriage at 5mths following an amnio (l was that unfortunate 1% risk, it was a healthy baby), l devastating termination at 18wks as there was serious health concerns for the baby and finally another miscarriage at 3mths. Everyone has a story to tell, the body can only take so much. I am done with kids , l have 3 beautiful healthy kids. I wish all you ladies all the best, it has made me one step closer to my fellow sisters and it is nice to know that we can relate to this problem and what devastating effect it can have on our lives. Only those who have experienced this DR can empathasize with one another. I once was trying to explain my condition to a senior colleague at work and her reply was " well l have had a baby how come l did not get a hernia or DR!!! It's like saying "well l drive, how come l have not had an accident!. Some people just do not understand.

hi everyone,

well as hugetum knows, I'm petrified about my op and am seeing my plastic surgeon this Friday. I'll ask lots more questions and report back.

I'm going to clarify a whole host of things about tummy tucks and abdominal reconstruction etc. Soniliz, it does sound like you need to be offered the same op as me and hugetum. My general surgeon referred me on to the posh plastic man and that's how I got to him!

You see here was my confusion -that on the NHS they call it 'abdominal reconstruction' and if you go private it's 'abdominoplasty.' How very confusing!

Many thanks for the clarification hugetum and hope all is well with your recovery. I'll quiz the surgeon with all my concerns (poor man!) and let you know my findings.

So sorry hugetum to hear of all your loss. I am lucky to have 3 as well but my goodness- the horrible births and C Sections!. This is why I'm stalling on this op.

Soniliz- you are not alone here. Although this condition is unusual, it is not rare as such and there are a few of us around with this. Push for the full op is you want it- the disfigurement is truly awful. I went into 4 shops the other day looking for a few tops. The problem for me is that maternity clothes like jeans, tend to be too baggy and normal jeans don't fit either because of my 'bump'. Skirts just make me look rotund and heavily pregnant! I'm a size 10-12 but of course dresses don't fit my large abdomen, so they're out too! I came home cross and depressed . I told my DH I'll wear pj's to do the school run instead and make my own clothes. But with 5 and under, I don't have time so I'll just wear a black bin liner, prettily gathered at in the Empire line style and trainers!

sorry, that should read 3 children, 5 and under!

Hi Honeydew,

No worries, my loss was meant to be, it was god's will. Over time l have come to realise that everything happens for a reason good and bad, and if you let it get to you, then you are a gonner. Life has it's ups and downs and l have become stronger for it. Having had 3 c-sections (although l tried to give birth naturally for the 2nd)she was nearly 9lbs, and no way l would have got her out!!! Anyway as l was saying recurrent c-sections does not help much with the muscles, they do become weaker over time.

I wish you good luck on friday, let me know how it goes. If it helps make a checklist of what you want to discuss, that way you won't forget to ask him anything. Thats what l did. Just go for it.

I have my 6 week check up at the end of July. The scar has healed nicely but they may need to make me outpatients appointment to tidy a couple of things. It is fairly numb down there, but l do get twinges which means that new nerve endings are developing. The ends of the scars known as "dog ears" ( don't ask me why), may need to be tidied up. I also have a little tiny gathering of skin below the chest which needs to be tucked in, from a distance it looks like a belly button, but the dressings nurse told me this is common and can be resolved easily with a little tuck, otherwise it looks fab. I went into my son's school and had some wonderful comments from the other ladies who said l looked really great and they could not believe the huge change. Gosh it is soo good to feel normal and wear normal trendy clothes again. So Honeydew get your skates on, l definately want to meet up with you after your op ( once you are fully recovered!!). Don't be afraid.

I

Hi hugetum- yes I will ask all the questions on Friday. I'm making a checklist over the next day or so. I'm trying to think sensibly and keep a cool head as I do want to go through with it- I just need courage.

So pleased to hear you are healing nicely. You are much blessed! It must be wonderful to healed form this awful condition, I so admire your strength of will. I keep praying about it and God has told me to be strong and that nothing will happen so I'm trying to keep positive about it all.

I too tired very hard to give birth to my middle child ( my son) and he was 10lbs. He got stuck and I had an obstructed labour and then emergency section at 2.30 am! He was in the Op position ( back to back and face down so almost breech). No way could I have got him out. I then had my 9lb daughter a year later and that was by elective because of my problems with William. But my Diastasis and hernia was not evident at all after having my son, only after my third did it become evident there was something wrong.

My first DD 8 1/2 lbs was born naturally but I had to be induced and helped with a ventouse cap, so an assisted delivery. So I know the sections and the big babies are the root cause.

I had 3 in 3 years and 2 months- silly me!!! I was about 7 stone before I had kids and I do have a very small frame so I look like an snake that's swallowed a melon! My pelvis is small which hasn't helped at all. I went overdue by 2 weeks with all of them so I think my abdomen was stretched beyond its limit.

Take care hugetum and thanks for all the advice

yes i too would love to meet up- this is all giving me hope and strength.

Hi Honeydew,

How did it go with the consultant? Is everything ok?? Thinking of you.

Hugetum

Hi hugetum,

thanks for thinking of me.

Well I went to St Thomas's for all my checks -you know, bloods, swabs etc and they took a full medical questionaire.

I had a long chat with the nurse about everything and she gave me some confidence .

But my surgeon wasn't there and I'm seeing him this afternoon at his outpatients clinic. I'll discuss all my questions with him then . I'll report back again today. I do want it done, just shaking like a leaf and worrying about my kids, the op itself and controlling my fear.

My vicar has directed me to some supportive passages in the Bible and my friends and husband are being helpful.

I could rally do with a glass of wine but of course I can't have any!

How are you and how is the recovery? How does it feel not to have the hernia? Has the op so far been worth it ? I know it's early days still for you but I feel bloated and uncomfortable a lot of the time and so want to get rid of the pull I feel on my back and body posture.

i can't imagine how it will be to look down and not see my huge bump!

Hi Hugetum,

well I've just had THE most unpleasant experience with a registrar and wasn't seen by my surgeon, even though he walked into the consulting room.

She was quite negative and explained to me that I didn't have Diastasis Recti- but 'diverification' of the muscles. She said it is the hernia which makes me look pregnant.

I really wanted a medical examination of my tummy as I know my hernia is quite large but I had to show her my stomach before she would respond.

She told me that there was a small chance they would not be able to repair my hernia in which case they may just cut off some of the loose skin and do a kind of abdominoplasty but I will be left the hernia and bump. Then I possibly will be faced with a more complex procedure in which they would use my skin to repair the hernia? Not sure about the details here she wouldn't tell me anymore. She said that last week, a lady had surgery and that they couldn't repair the hernia but that she was a lot older than me. Well- thanks for that!

So what is the point of my going through all this only to come put looking the same and still being in pain? She wouldn't talk about the recovery either!

I am NOT going to do this if I come home the same just with a little less baby flab or nothing at all! No way is it worth it in that case.

She also told me that the NHS DO NOT do abdominoplasty's and that this goes down as a hernia repair but that they tighten the skin so that you get a good finish.

I complained that I felt this had affected my posture and was pulling my shoulders down. The doctor responded by saying that the hernia would not affect this and that I had a posture problem. Well firstly, I was a semi- professional ballet dancer until I was 20 and my posture has always been excellent to the point where people used to say that i seemed to float rather than walk! So I've never had a 'posture problem'. Secondly, your abdominal muscles help to hold up your spine, which I know through general knowledge so her saying to me that my hernia has nothing to do with it is wrong.

She did not seem to know anything about my case or even if my abdominal muscles are weakened although by telling me the hernia because my muscles are so far apart may be inoperable contradicts that assertion.

I've looked a lot on the internet an I DO have Diastasis Recti - you only have to look at my very distended belly to see I've got a major problem. My muscles have weakened and parted and my intestines come though!

I am livid to say the least. I had specially arranged childcare and went to see my surgeon today discuss my case and have been treated with contempt and like I was a piece of meat. I should have insisted he see me but he seemed too busy and disinterested.

This doctor is young and clearly not had children so can't relate to many of my concerns. I am very confused here. When I saw the nurse at Thomas's she wrote down on the offical sheet I was having an abdominoplasty and yet this woman says no!

She did nothing to reassure me, refused to talk about the general anaesthetic or recovery, made it clear I was a drain on the NHS and that if I was nervous- well tough. She said I had to let her know there and then if I wanted to cancel the op! But I went there to talk over my fears, get a medical examination and some advice.

I feel worse than ever came out of the hosptial in floods of tears. The NHS just doesn;t seem to know what it's doing. They have no told me something completely different about my condition.

I just don't feel as though I've been properly assessed. I know they can't really tell about my hernia until they open me up but I feel disregarded and just one of thousands. This is major surgery, not a pub lunch!

Sorry, but my health and welfare are worth a lot to me. I have 3 young children to look after. I know the actual surgeon is excellent, I have no qualms about him but my trust has been shaken. She told me that I had spent 'a long tine' talking to her- about 15 mins and when the phone rang, she answered it. Instead of putting them on hold, finishing the conversation with me and saying goodbye politely, she dismissed me with an 'exucse me' and so I just walked out! It was clear it wasn't an emergency call.

I am a polite person, was a secondary school teacher for 7 years. I was so shocked by her level of rudeness.

Hugetum- I can see why now Dorindabrowm got a poor result from her op; she was ill informed and kept in the dark. I've had to really ask lots of questions to get anywhere.
Basically, I could wake up and look the same and STILL have the hernia - so why bother?

I only say this doctor today because I wrote to my surgeon with some queries. Had I not asked for clarification, I would not have been seen.

The last time I had a medical examination was over year ago and my surgeon has not looked at my abdomen at all, even though I put myself on the waiting list 3 months ago. I thought that when I had the pr-op assessment, I would see my surgeon for a check up as well as the usual checks. But no! I've only seen a nurse and junior doctor.

I had a terrible time with my emergency section , the NHS were slow and although the operations was excellent, the before and after care was absolute crap ( excuse my expletive here!).

I don't know what to do now. I'm going to call the surgeon in the morning and if I'm not happy, I'm going to cancel it and leave it until next year or having it privately (but perhaps still use him for the surgery) with a better quality of care surrounding the op.

I basically have to decide by the morning. Psycholgically, I don't feel ready for this at all really. I've had 2 difficult sections in 2 years plus a nightmare first natural birth. All between 2004-07 and I just want a break. I just don't feel ready for more medical invasive surgery, more drugs, pumps, drips and drains! But then again, I don't want to look like this and I don't want the hernia and associated risks over time.

If I didn't have the hernia, I'd live with the flab! And they DO think you're vain, don;t they? Even though I'm always discomfort and my stomach is a mess, they think I should just put up with it. I'm 37 and always been told I am a very attractive woman and she looked at me as if to say "you may be disfigured all your life -well serves you right for having kids and being pretty". I know that's probably wrong but it's how she came across.

I got the distinct impression from her that she thought I was taking up her valuable time. She thought my fears not important. When she's a mother, perhaps she'll change her tune!

Sorry this has been such a long post. I am really upset and in the morning decide what I want to do if I can speak to my surgeon. She told me that I must be absolutely on time for the op, otherwise I'll hold up her day. This was not what I went to hear- I do know I have to get there for the early morning!

What would you advise hugetum? Thanks for your help.

Hi Honeydew,

So sorry to hear what you have been going through. Surgeons they are like lawyers "time is money", l too have experienced this. They just get to the point and don't like to to spend too much time .. I too have experienced this, felt really uncomfortable and sometimes felt rushed. That dr sounds a right cow, obviously in experienced. Has the consultant ever asked you to lie down on the couch and cough, thats how they measure the diastasis and muscle tone, when you cough the stomach kind of rises into a dome.

I do not know much about "diverification". My sister had this and hernia. Strangely enough we had not spoken to each other for 18mths (falling out!!). Anyway strangely enough she ended up having surgery a day before me. I was under the impression she had the same surgery as me, but apparently not. After speaking to her, l remember she said she had a vertical scar, but after the op, she was not allowed to eat and had to be fed through a tube. She did not have abdominoplasty.

Honeydew if you really feel strong, post pone the op. I would get a second opinion. Go back to your Dr and explain what happened at your meeting with the consultant. That Dr you saw seems inexperienced. There is no point having the op what they have suggested, if they are not going to tighten the abdominal muscles. It's all very well them saying they will repair the hernia and perhaps remove the excess skin. What you need is to have YOUR STOMACH MUSCLES TIGHTENED. It's like wearing a corset but it is inside of your body, the muscles are tightened, all your intestines pushed back in and any excess skin and fat cut and the skin pulled down and stitched along the pubic hairline. I am sorry and disappointed that there is so much disparity in the NHS. You are knowledgable but obviously this dr was not. Go straight back to your GP, before you cancel your op. Your Dr can maybe fax the consultant and get him to examine you again. You can also speak to your DR and explain that you know what diastasis recti is!!!

I again have been struck with flu like symptoms and a cough which is killing my stomach. Dr has put me on antibiotics again.

Speak to you soon and good luck and if you have reservations about the op ie that they will not do the fully abdominoplasty then don't go ahead. Ok my new stomach is not perfect, but they have got rid of the huge disfigurement, and under my clothes, no one will see the imperfections of the op. I am still eternally grateful what they have done for me. Don't despair and don't lose hope and have faith, if things don't feel right at the moment, don't feel rushed into them.

You must go back to your GP.

Hugetum

Hi hugetum,

many thanks for your advice.I will get straight onto my GP in the morning and ask them to get in touch with the surgeon.

I do want to be examined again by the surgeon and to make sure that my abdominal muscles are going to be repaired. As you say there is no point going ahead right now if they are going to leave me with a huge bulge! I need to see him again. I just can't go through with it not really knowing quite what they are going to do. This Dr didn't even look at my hernia, which is my main concern.

Was your hernia large? You see mine is and I've had this for 18 months now. I'm always concerned that it might strangulate although they have told me it's unlikely because it's so big.

I am concerned they won't be able to repair me and it will all be for nothing. You're right- I do need those muscles tightened, not just the hernia repair and a bit of loose skin chopped off! I need my strength back internally which I feel is so lacking. I'm sure you know that feeling and I want the tightness back. I can feel the weakness and it does pull my shoulders down and hunches me over sometimes. I have to really to concentrate to sit up straight.

When I was examined last year, I did lie on the couch and they made me cough to see that happened and I do have this large dome/ ridge. I can see it when I sit up in bed or get out of the bath.

If they are not going to tighten the muscles, I have no option but to cancel and go private. Considering I am really disfigured from pregnancy, it seems so unfair that I can't have cosmetic surgery- I really need it, you can see by looking at me my abdomen is a complete mess.

I will find out tomorrow and report back. They have told me that if I leave it until Friday to cancel, they will not put me on the waiting list again. While I do understand the reasons, I think that 's very unfair since they have only now told me they are really only repairing the hernia and the abdominoplasty is an extra they do not have the funds for, but that that they can 'tidy me up a bit'.

I do feel rushed and get the impression that don't want me to ask questions. I don't even know if I may end up with a vertical incision like your sister which is now going through my head. Poor thing - being fed through a tube! How ghastly and i hope she is on the mend now. I am really worried about leaving the hernia but I'm so fearful they they won't give me the abdominoplasy, I do need full clarification.

Yes I realise the Dr is probably inexperienced. She probably isn't that much younger than me but having kids does make you so much more worldly mature and sensible to others feelings I think.

Thanks so much for your kind words of comfort and reading my long, long post! I'm cross because I went to see Me Mercer ( the surgeon) for clarification, assessment and support. I came out confused, angry and very unhappy that they have not really made it clear what they will do to me or the best outcome.

It's a good idea that I contact my GP first and get everything sorted. I will go ahead if they tell me I'm basically having the same as you, which was my previous understanding.

Did they tell you your hernia might not be operable? The Dr said it's only a 1% chance but because the hernia is large, I need to take it into account.

I've had a nasty head cold for the last few weeks and only just feel I've shaken it off really.

Sorry to hear you're unwell with the fluey thing. take it easy won't you and so good to hear you are doing well.

Honeydew,

yes large ventral hernia 20 by 25cms

Hugetum