Elective C Section - Birth Trauma

[Crosswind22]

I'd like to hear some stories. I'm way off birth at only 10 weeks but I've started really thinking about it.
First Birth Two Years Ago:
Had excess fluid decided on induction at 39 weeks. Third day, waters broken and labour began.
Epidural, back locked due to position, long labour, baby had hand up to head and got stuck.
Brought to theatre and in my delirium I kept saying "no C section".
Spinal block prepped incase which failed 1st time.
Forceps birth, episotimy, 3c tear. hemorrhage.
I was in a lot of pain that nobody seemed to understand, not even partner who expected me to be up and out. Recovery took about 10 months with sex only comfortable after a year. The trauma of it took another 6/7 months on top.

I'm in no way undermining a C section and know it's serious abdmonial surgery but if I was given the option to heal in 6 weeks as apposed to the above.. Well.. Midwife has told me there was a 7% chance of having a similar birth but to absolutely consider a c section. I'm torn because I've heard equally horrible stories about c section. Any advice or similar stories welcomed.

I had an ELCS for my first birth (maternal request/breech). It’s nothing like an emergency CS where they have to prise out the baby from halfway down the birth canal! I had no issues at all - was gingerly going up and down stairs after 36 hours. Would have been discharged after 48 hours but DC needed some extra monitoring unrelated to CS. Realistically I needed help looking DC for about 72 hours, then was fine to take care of him myself. After around 5 days I wasnt really thinking about the soreness at all, and after 8-10 days the soreness had gone completely. I coped fine on just paracetamol and ibuprofen (the basic pain meds they give you). I did ask for some codeine after 36 hours to help me get back to sleep, but it just made me projectile vomit, so I won’t be doing that again.

I was back at the climbing gym and jogging around the block after 7 weeks. Scar has healed up neatly.

I’m pregnant again now and will be having another ELCS.

No previous birth stories but I'm having a ELCS (currently pregnant) due to tokophobia, the whole process to this date has been really positive, I've done heaps of research and read and asked lots of questions on Mumsnet and feel really positive about my decision. I hear emergency c sections can be quiet traumatic and come with a tougher recovery, whereas most I've spoke to who've had a Elective have said after a week they were feeling good and after two they were feeling really good but still being conscious to take things easy (internal healing) most manage on just paracetamol and ibuprofen which I intend to try and do because opioids and stronger painkillers tend to make me sick.
You know your date in advance, you have alot of say, can have your own playlist playing, it sounds very relaxing and calm whilst also not undermining the fact it is major surgery. I'd also suggest speaking to your midwife and ask to be put in touch with the prenatal mental health team to discuss your concerns, it's what they're pros at. Xxxxx

So sorry you had a hard time with your first. I had a 3b tear (same, insisted on no c section, ended up with forceps and an extended episiotomy) but overall still found the birth itself a positive experience. Recovery was v.hard though, both physically and mentally. Went back to work at 9 months terrified of how far I was from a toilet as I'd have about a 5-10 minute window. Lots of physio helped but took me about a year to feel comfortable having sex.

My second was born 3 months ago, with a 2 year age gap. I spoke to a gynecologist (who I was seeing due to the incontinence issues) who said due to me not being 100% after my birth he'd seriously consider a c section but that ultimately I knew my body best. If it happened again he said I may not get back to where I was now. I really didn't want the c section but went ahead with it as I felt I'd never forgive myself if it did happen again.

3 months into recovery for a c section and although it has been hard, I don't have the same mental torture that I did first time, wondering if I'd ever be able to love a normal life without worrying about my continence. I have a v.weak core and an overhang, but I know I can improve those things with physio and largely they are superficial issues.

DH states a c section recovery appears to have been a lot easier for me and thinks that I forgot how bad I was after the tear, I think it's just different. I know I won't be scared to go back to work this time at least, and I'm using the sling a lot more as I feel confident my pelvic floor can handle it. My back aches and I have some occasional pain around the scar, but I know I need to lose some weight and do more strengthening. It's also v.early days.

If you opt for a c section, plan to have people around to help you in the first 3-4 weeks. We also made sure our toddler didn't need me to pick her up (.g. took the side off the cot , taught her to get in the car seat herself, etc.). That made it easier for me. Everyone is different though, and I'll probably always wonder what would have happened if I'd gone for another vaginal delivery!

Just a little tip regarding the back pain and scar sensitivity, have a look into scar massage. I've learnt so much about it via the csection Uk page on Instagram and also videos on tick tok, it seems to be a very important part of recovery to avoid adhesions and scar tissue build up (which can cause both the things you've mentioned) and something women aren't advised about by midwives or HV's. Xxx

I had a horrible first birth. Induced. Back to back labour. Delayed epidural and DD1 was born by forceps in the operating theatre as the ventouse fell apart in the doctor’s hands. We were both traumatised and she never breast fed.

DD2 was born by elective Caesarian. Not perfect but I felt much more in control and she was a happy content baby. It’s a bit painful afterwards in the first couple of days (and they are not big on pain relief) but I was physically in much better condition than the forceps delivery.

I would advise my daughters to go for an elective Caesarian every time.

Forceps birth, episotimy, 3c tear

That was me too. So I went for a c section (2.5 years later). I cannot stress strongly enough how much easier c section recovery was. Do it. (I lost a LOT of blood with my c section, half my blood volume, and even so, my recovery was better than my forceps/tear recovery. Don’t worry about the blood loss, not normal at all, but just for context. I then had a 3rd child and took c section over another VB no question!)

I had a c section with our second after a traumatic first birth and it was fantastic , I was out and about really quickly , driving after 2 weeks . I’d advise anyone to have a section .

My first birth was similar to yours.

I opted for an ELCS for my second. Best thing I ever did!!

Recovery was amazing in comparison.

Hey I'm 6 months pp after an almost identical birth to yours- NCT had me so terrified of a C-section. They told me I'd have to stay on the postnatal ward for ages and recovery would be really horrible so when I'd been pushing for 3 hours and he kept springing back in I chose forceps. Got a 3b tear, lost 3 litres of blood, had to stay on the HDU then the postnatal ward for ages and recovery was really horrible.

Have you had your endoanal scan? I only had mine last month and they wrote to me to say there was still a defect and my squeeze pressure was really low, so I should have a c-section next time. I would advise you to see if you can have one of those to get more info, especially as 3c involves internal sphincter.

Even if they hadn't advised me to do it, I would definitely opt for a controlled cut and operation next time rather than an uncontrolled rip. I struggled in the immediate aftermath to articulate what had happened to me to family and friends (still can't really) so I didn't have the rallying round you'd get if you'd had a c-section.

That's not to diminish c-section recovery at all- I know it's rough, especially if it's an emergency and especially especially if it's done at full dilation. I just could never face a vaginal birth again.