Birth partners

[millennialprobs]

My midwife informed me at my appt today that our local hospital has changed its visitation and birth partner policy to "pre-covid" rules, meaning my partner can stay with me 24/7 after my cesarean and sleep overnight.
However the hosp don't provide beds for partners (absolutely fair enough, I wouldn't expect it), however I'm wondering if it's okay to bring some sort of crash mat or something for him to sleep on!? And blankets/pillows?

Or any other ideas? Thank you :)

A pillow and a blanket should be fine. I think a floor mat of some sort won’t be though. He could become a tripping hazard for you, other mums or the ward staff if they walk into your bay.

The bays can be really small in some hospitals. And tbh the cleanliness of the floors is probably a thought best left un-had!

Doze in a chair.
Definitely not on the floor.

That would be highly unusual and there won't be space if you're in a tiny bay.

I'm a midwife, I think if you are going to stay for the duration bring any camping stuff that helps and if you're in the way or the situation is that emergency help might be needed and the floor needs to be clear, I will tell you.

The absolute ideal though is that he treats it as a night shift and someone else visits from shortly after birth until the evening while he sleeps

My dh just sat in a chair all night. He changed nappies and helped look after me. He slept for less than 2 hours all night. Is this your first? There won't be much time for sleep I'm afraid.

you have birthed his child... im sure a night in a chair won't kill him! might as well get him used to sitting up all night with a newborn anyway

To be honest if he is planning on sleeping he is better off sleeping at home. Most full term newborns don't sleep much unless they are being held I find. So if he is staying overnight then he won't need a bed.

Just send him home so he's use when you get discharged the next day. The midwife's will help you overnight , after 6 hours you should hopefully be up and about and be able to tend to baby yourself anyhow after an elective

My husband was exhausted after staying up overnight while i gave birth and we were so aware that he had to be safe to drive us all home. I honestly wish the hospital had not encouraged him to stay as 'you'll be going home really soon' as it meant I had to sit up in the chair and give him the bed so he could sleep in preparation to drive safely. Honestly I would say send him home to sleep for a bit so he can be useful to you while he's there, whether you'll want him there mostly at night or in the day. Good luck for the birth x

I’m relieved my hospital never went back to allowing this since covid. Midwife told me it was basically a health and safety issue: not enough space in the bays, everyone was then sleep deprived so couples were having rows, more than one BP accidentally fell asleep in chairs while holding babies and dropped them on the floor, others “accidentally” wandered into other women’s bays…

That’s without just the extra noise etc. so they send them home overnight. I love my husband but that’s exactly where I want him overnight after I give birth then he can come back in having slept in a proper bed and help out. I also think of women vulnerable to abuse by their partners who then have a 12 hour window overnight to tell someone safely if they want/need to when partner isn’t there.

Personally I was glad DH went home and got a nights sleep so he could be helpful the next day

Just send him home so he's use when you get discharged the next day. The midwife's will help you overnight

This,
Seriously, a partner who has had a decent sleep is going to be better at looking after you over the next few days, than one who has dosed in a chair overnight.