If you had an NHS homebirth, what was your MW like?

[amitymama]

I'm having a homebirth in September and can't afford an independent midwife. I know that most MWs are great but I've heard enough stories to worry about getting a bad apple, one that doesn't really like attending home births and tries at every turn to get me to transfer. I want a very hands-off midwife who will basically monitor me and be there if there's a problem but won't try to coach me, direct me, give me vaginal exams every hour or try to convince me to do things differently than what my instincts tell me to.

What has everyone's experience been with NHS midwives, were they respectful of your wishes?

Absolutely fantastic. I had two. The main one was pretty hands off - well actually she did a little back massage when necessary, which was fab. She did examine me a few times, but I think if I'd have said I didn't want it, she would have gone with it. I couldn't praise the two of them enough. It was an amazing experience.

well, maybe i was lucky, but mine was wonderful - hands on, kind, calm, expereinced and stayedf with me throughout. She was v keen to attend a homebirth as they're not so common now makes their working life that much more interesting to go to one! I think you just have to find out who is experienced/interested in homebriths locally and build a bond wiht them as early as poss in yr pregnancy.
I really don't think it's common practice (whatever you'tre told) that they will tell you at every turn to go in, not my experience at all - first time I asked to go in, second time it wasn't necessary, in btoh cases the mws were supportive of my choice (this in 2 v different areas, too)

I have had two home births. The first was accidental so i didn't get the chance for a midwife.

The planned H.B was lovely. The two midwives that came were very nice. Came inplenty of time, made tea and biscuits, watched dreadful early morning t.v with me an dh and were very respectful.

Fabulous - both really lovely and did everything i asked. I was only examined once when the first midwife arrived and then really helped me to get through my second birth drug free.

They were chatty and really down to earth, although they were only here for an hour before i actually gave birth and then stayed for about 3hrs afterwards.

I had a homebirth with ds2 and it was very lovely. My midwives were very chilled, and just guided me gently through the whole thing. Because they were utterly calm and zen like, it rubbed off on me. I felt in total control - which was a complete contrast to the colossal stress fest which was ds1's birth.

Fabulous, hands-off, non-pushy, did what I wanted and helped enormously. One stayed 6 hours after her shift to see it through to the end. Let me try and push for 4hrs before I had to transfer to hospital, even then let me decide to transfer without pushing me, came with me in the ambulance, visited the next day on the postnatal ward after an em cs. Couldn't fault them.

Quite nice, I would have preferred my actual midwife who I had seen through most of the pregnancy (had never met the one who delivered DS), she did ration gas and air though which I felt was Most Uncalled For

Would do it again NHS without a doubt

I have had 3 hb's, and 8 NHS midwifes - 3 for first, 2 each for 2nd and 3 for 3rd birth. Hadn't met any of them previously other than student mw for my last. All were great. I think I had one internal for each birth and that is it. Last one was a little brusque, but she was fine in the end, and very experienced. Student mw at 3rd birth told me that she thought that generally mw's who were in the community were happy to be there, and generally happier in their job than some of those on labour ward.
I would def. recommend it to anyone who is keen to have a hb.

Wow, thanks for such quick replies! How very reassuring that you've all had great MWs. I feel better already.

Had three MWs at mine over the course - first came at end of her shift, so then got another, then had the third arrive as I was pushing, so didn't meet her til after (can't remember anything about her).

I didn't like the first - she just wasn't interested, was a bit annoyed at being on call, initially very dismissive of my silly wanting a homebirth for first baby. BUT - despite this she gave me fantastic advice, knew what she was doing and I think what she got me to do was helpful to the whole labour.

Second MW was excellent - gentle, calm, on the ball, respectful, encouraging. Plus obviously knew a lot about what she was doing.

Neither MW forced checks or mentioned wanting to go to hospital, but then my preg/labour was very straightforward.

So - even though I didn't really like the first MW they both did good jobs and I'm quite happy to take the luck of the draw with the NHS on call rota again. DP is very well informed though, so I do feel any MW will be challenged and have to explain everything in detail, which helps me feel less worried.

But in same area I know of quite a few NHS homebirths, all with different MWs and haven't heard any negative stories about MW attitudes. Maybe its like birth - people like to tell you the negatives more than the good/okay stuff.

I would agree with whoever said that most community midwives are happy to attend homebirths. There are quite a few now so most midwives in the community have attended some. I have never come accross someone who has felt pushed in to going in to hospital as far as I know. Sometimes as a midwife it is nice to be able to be with the woman and not worrying about answering the phone and possibly looking after other women as well. If it is going well homebirths are usually really nice. I have been to several and never had any bad experiences. (A few worrying moments, but nothing that has given me any gray hairs)

I had 6 midwives in total at the labour and birth of DD (plus my community midwife popped in to say hello - it was a LONG labour!). They were all very supportive of me and my birth choices. The one that I did most labouring with wasn't as handhold-y and gentle as I had expected, but she fought hard to try to let me have a natural birth. The fact that it all went pear-shaped was just due to genetics (persistant OP and large babies are on BOTH sides of my family, so in retrospect I don't really think I had a chance ). She did write on my notes though "excellent maternal effort" and came to see me in the ward the next day to tell me that she knew how hard I'd tried, and that if DD had been OA or a pound lighter then I would have done it. The first MW that I saw in the CLU stayed on after her shift so that she could see DD born and know that she was OK.
Which is a very waffley way of saying that I've experienced quite a large number of midwives and not a bad apple to be found.

I had a lovely midwife for my homebirth, the second one arrived about two mins before DS! She told me I was 10cm, helped me in the pool, talked me through her monitoring baby after contractions but didn't bully/intrude at all. Have a lovely time!