@soberholic re tokophobia - without going into too much detail (I don't want to derail OPs thread), I certainly had some significant fears around some aspects of childbirth, but I also had issues around the hospital setting itself (particularly relating to postnatal wards and lack of privacy, which many in the UK can relate to). So for me, while a c section dealt with the fears and uncertainty around childbirth, it required a hospital setting. As it was, the c section with number 3 all went well, I had a private room (although this couldn't be guaranteed in advance) and was able to be discharged within 24 hours. Perhaps it would be worth starting a separate thread to discuss further, as there are others on here who will have their own experiences to share?
My family is complete now, but looking back, I would have benefited from treatment for ptsd before becoming pregnant (I was referred for EMDR during dc1s pregnancy, but due to a series of glitches in the system, it was too late in in the day to start treatment). In the UK there are specialist pathways and support for mental health in pregnancy, and like I said in a previous post, the midwife and consultant teams were extremely supportive, even when I made choices that clinically wouldn't be recommended. Would it be worth exploring what support is available where you are?
@MRTvw is there something specific about homebirth that appeals? I realise my motivations were quite negative (i.e. avoiding hospitals), but that's obviously not the case for everyone! One option that was offered to me was vbac in the birth centre which is adjacent to the maternity unit (it wouldn't fit their normal criteria, but they would have preferred that as safer than home birth if a transfer was needed) With dc1 they let me transfer to the birth centre from home, rather than going straight to the labour ward (although still ended in c section!)