Describing the pain during childbirth

[aussiebebe]

I've never had babies and definitely want to be a mother. I always ask women if they can describe the pain of childbirth by using language that someone who has never gone through it can understand. For example, my mum always says that the pain we feel under our stomach when on period is intensified during childbirth. That's the sort of language I can relate to because I've felt period pain before.
Thanks ladies 💕

Period pain ‐wtf!? 😂

Despite all manner of preparation and being young, super fit and healthy, I honestly thought I would die giving birth to DC1. Like a whole-body sensation of simultaneously being crushed and being torn apart and being ground to a blooded paste. Totally winded and unable to catch my breath between near-constant contractions. No control of bladder or bowel or vocal cords. It was like being rolled by a huge wave and going under, over and over again ‐I remember screaming like an animal, and the poor midwife looking white as a sheet. This went on for far too long (I had extensive pelvic organ fatigue and subsequent damage) and got progressively worse; 15 hours of labouring in the delivery room following induction with an epidural (made no difference to pain, just numbed my legs), having laboured at home with no pain for 12 hours previously. DC1 was delivered via a huge episiotomy and forceps in the end.

But what was just as bad was the postpartum agony of having a badly mangled vagina, vulva and perennium. So unbelievably painful to sit, change pads (nobody had told me that lochia is so plentiful!), wound care, trying to pee and have a shit. The fucking indignation of having to lie for a week with a bare arse, legs apart, on geriatric incontinence pads to let the stitches heal (while determined to bond with and feed baby ‐thank goodness they sleep so much inbthe first couple of weeks) only getting up in order to piss in a cool bath with lavender oil. Picking the shit out of my own arse with my fingers as my pelvic musculature was too numb to function. For weeks.

Clearly, there were complications which should have been spotted early on in DC1's delivery, and which, if managed appropriately would have had a really different, much safer outcome. But the point I'm making is that you can't tell what you're going to get.

DC2 was much more like the period pain experience described by other posters, didn't even need a paracetamol.

My contractions were all in my bum - very confusing when all you read is contractions being like period pain. Baby was back to back and I was convinced it must be diarrhoea not labour. I felt nothing in my tummy at all. Contractions were also continuous for 42 hours, right from the start - well they came every minute and lasted 45 seconds, so I got 15 seconds breather at a time!

I felt a little like my stomach was being ripped open with a chainsaw. The contractions were the worst pain imaginable and they were relentless. Any breaks between the contractions I spent vomiting. They never told me in any parenting/birthing class before that some people don't react to the epidural.

I was induced. The weird thing for me was when I was induced labor had started, they could see the contractions on the monitor, however I wasn't able to feel any movements/contractions nor had any pain. (I did experience some contraction like feelings a couple days earlier) Once induced the pain started and I opted for an epidural. I was told that the epi usually takes the pain down to 30%, but for me it took it down to zero. I had been told a lot of horror stories about the pain leading up to it, which wasn't really helpful.

Yes I've had one like this, and also one more normally. B2b is something else. So painful. Nothing like "normal" contractions

I always think it's abit like when you get bad cramp in your leg , it's an intense pain that builds and then eases off

For me the latent phase was like very strong period pain and manageable with hot baths, breathing, gas and air, positive thoughts etc

Active phase literally felt like I was being ripped apart between the belly button and vagina and if it wasn’t for the drugs (team epidural here too) I honestly couldn’t have managed it.

Same thing both times!

@Mozzarellaballs - mine was like yours! Except I had epidural for both and honestly it was the BEST feeling ever - like floating painlessly to heaven after that barbaric contraction pain. Couldn't believe women were expected to bear it without epidural - felt like I was dying with pain.,,

Like being stabbed in the coccyx. Horrendous. Nothing at the front at all. Threw the birth plan away and took all the drugs.

My first was the most excruiating pain I am confident I will ever feel in my life, I could not make a single sound - due to baby being back to back and the hospital giving me syntocin. Nothing could describe how bad it was.

My second was in water and was more like pressure than pain. I enjoyed it.

Every birth is different. I don't buy into the pain threshold nonsense either.

It was painful kind of spasms that eventually woke me up. I put a full face of make up on on my hands and knees in front of a mirror and even painted my nails before it got more intense and I called ex to tell him to leave work. I was supposed to have a water birth at home but by the time it was all set up, nothing less than a crane could've picked me up and put me in there. The tens machine made it (ha) ten times more painful. So off I went to hospital where they gave me gas and air, so much that I projectile vomited at this point it was like having wild horses chained to each hip running in the opposite direction. Luckily the epidural guy was free and after he did it I offered to marry him. I'll skip over the next few hours.
Eventually in less than an hour I pushed baby out on my own, no interventions. But a second degree tear, sewn up badly.
When we got home (released straight from delivery suite) I was in agony downstairs and couldn’t lie on my back due to the irritation from the epidural. However, my "home birth" meant that they'd dropped off two canisters of gas and air which I was able to use sporadically when needed. By the time they eventually came to pick them up they were both empty 😂

Also no one tells you about bruised clit pain that lasts for a couple of months. It's not all just down there at the site of birth and lower. I found that completely awful. I was already using a jug of water to tip down myself so I could pee without further pain stitches wise and coating pads in witch hazel for relief. I never knew it could be so painful further up, but it happened. That took about two or three months to go away. Literally felt like I'd been kicked in it with steel toe capped boots.

@Incakewetrust 100% agree with you about the gallstones. People look at me like I’m crazy when I say that 😂

I had an induction with the drip due to baby being large. I was alone for 75% of it due to covid. It took just under 40 hours, baby was back to back, I had a severe pelvic injury which meant I couldn’t do anything other than lie flat on my back and I had no pain relief 😂😂 For me it was nothing like period pain - it was like every muscle in my back and thighs going into the most intense spasms that I couldn’t control. I also just felt relief at the crowning stage which most people describe as the worst part 😂😂

@aussiebebe My honest advice would be, everyone copes with pain very differently and everyone’s body is completely different so don’t overthink other people’s experience. I had what others have described as a “horrific labour experience” and I really didn’t think it was THAT bad - as I’ve said, I’d do it time and time again rather than have gallstones again. But then my best friend had a smaller baby (3.5 pounds smaller than mine!), a straight forward non-induced labour with pain relief and hers ended in interventions because she kept fainting due to the pain 😓 You just don’t know how your body will react.

Labour is like period pain. I actually found contractions very welcome and comforting, although not painless. They're fairly mild until active labour, it's the knowledge they'll be back that's particularly exhausting. Pushing kind of "happened" for me, my pushing stage lasted about 15 minutes both times. Yes it's like doing a huge poo. Unlike a poo you can't "stop" it though. I'd say it hurt less than a huge poo, but once you're crowning there's no relief until the heads out. Waiting for the next contraction at that stage just felt frantic.

I wanted to add that I did want to die because I wanted it to be over. But it's relatively short lived. And recovery was worse.

I hear you - also had a back to back with DC1. No words for that pain!

And the vagina! I also didn't have the urge to push. The contractions were more painful than pushing.

Yeah, i would say bad period pains at the start only. When contractions really get going, i think it was quite similar to having food poisoning! You know when your lower abdomen just doubles up in excruciating pain just before you have to go the loo? It's like that, with like 20 seconds rest and then again, and again... for hours! Your stomach goes rock hard too which feels so weird.

I had a baby at 14, with no pain relief and horrible nurses. It was like someone sticking knitting needles up me and would say I felt true agony. The actual birth was unpleasant but bearable. I chose not to have children after that and wish woman were given more knowledge and better after care.

Definitely like intense period cramps, mine were mainly in my lower back first time and more to the front and sides the second time.

Second labour was less painful by a country mile, but both were fine, I had two home births with gas & air which really helped the pain and I like having something to focus my breathing around.

I found the head coming through my pelvis and crowning the worst bit but it's over so quickly it's not worth worrying about.

The 'pushing' phase is not well named as you don't need to push at all! That baby is coming out and the 'pushing' sensation is exactly the same as the feeling of being sick, but out your vagina 😂Totally involuntary!

The best thing about childbirth is that as soon as the baby comes out, you think 'oh I could do that again!' like some kind of nutter 😂😂😂 but that does tell you all you need to know about the pain level.

I couldn’t describe the pain. The biggest thing for me was feeling like I was on drugs 🙈 (I was a raver in my younger days!) and then the feeling when my labour stopped (I had to be induced in the end to restart it) was like coming out of that haze. I hadn’t been given any morphine or anything it was just what my brain was doing to get me through I think.

IYKYK!!

As this thread shows people’s experience of pain is completely different.

I have horrific period pain for the first two days where I often throw up from the intensity of the pain, yet I struggle to comprehend how labour can be described as being that mild.

The pain was like hell on earth. Like I was being torn open from my ribs to my knees, and turned inside out by a paradoxically crushing pain. At first it came in waves, and then it was constant pain with peaks. Had someone given me the choice I would have accepted death with open arms. The relief of crowning, knowing that it would soon be over means that the burning others mentioned was tolerable.

After my eldest I shook from the trauma and shock of the experience, As soon as my youngest was born I haemorrhaged. The midwife and DH turned as white as sheets and although I had a distance sense that it was bad news, I genuinely didn’t give a shit if I died, I was so done in.

What few people tell you is that the contractions continue after birth and through the first week of life. Healing from episiotomy is not fun and can make walking/sitting very painful.

Someone told me it's like sh"ting a beach ball out and I kinda think that's quite true 🙈😂

I didn't describe it as painful. Powerful...yes, uncomfortable at times but honestly not painful. I was shocked as I'd always been told it was awful, and it's depicted so on tv with people screaming etc. I also didn't get any 'pushing' feelings. It was more like the waves got more intense and then suddenly the baby was crowning. That stung, but it was only for a moment. Otherwise it was a seriously empowering experience. I was in awe of what my body could do. Was in labour for just under 50 hours, had a home birth. Used a tens machine for some of the backache until the midwife showed us this high pressure massage which was amazing. Otherwise I didn't have anything. Tried a puff of the gas and air but it wasn't for me.

Would sincerely recommend hypnobirthing. It teaches you how to relax your body, and when muscles can relax then the feelings seem to be more intense than painful. Lots of people from my class ended up having inductions or interventions etc but because they'd practiced keeping calm and relaxing they still felt like it was a positive and powerful experience rather than something painful and scary. The second time it was more rushed, and I felt like I had less time to ease into it so it was a lot more intense. But still, wouldn't use the word painful.

The worst pain I have ever felt in my life.

It starts off as period like cramps, not too bad, then slowly gets more and more painful until the contractions are way closer together. It feels like you're being crushed and squeezed (to me anyway). The pain was fucking horrendous. I remember thinking I would actually let them cut my legs off if it would stop the pain. I was gobsmacked for weeks after. Can't believe no one told me it was like that.

Anyway, thankfully it ended in an emergency C section. Booked straight in for a C section second time round. What I'm saying is, just book in for a C section when you get pregnant.