Seriously considering going against advice and having HB. Made to feel guilty

[horseshoe]

Was really excited about a HB. I didn't want to go to hosp cause last two births I have just been left to fend for myself anyway.

Baby will need antibiotics after birth but not a problem with delivery or anything.

I have had a previous traumatic birth and a normal birth but with a congenital abnormality.

this pregnancy has been a breeze with exception to the kidney function of baby and so I dont see any reason why a HB would be risky.

MW's really dont want me to have HB as they cant prescribe Anti-B's and I would have to go in and see someone after birth. Now they are using my previous births as excuses yet they were all fine with my HB plans before and it seems that they are worried about the aftercare.

I know it's my right to request a HB but being made to feel really guilty about it.

Has anyone else gone against MW's advice?

Your GP can prescribe them however, and will come to visit you anyway very soon after the birth. I had two HB and they were lovely and so was the aftercare. Ah me, happy days...

Unless your baby is going to need emergency care at birth I can't see that it would be at all problematic. Are they sure they know the full extent of the baby's issues?

DS1 was monitored in the womb as kidney renal hip was dilated. He was on AB's as soon as he was delivered.
Had elective C as he was breach, my first and I 'old'!
Don't go for whatever is convenient for anyone else but the baby.

Yes - I had two homebirths against the advice of my consultant and the community team of midwives (well - one homebirth and one home to hospital transfer). I booked with an independent midwife who supported my wishes and that was good enough for me. I understood the reservations of my consultant and the community team but still wanted to go ahead because I felt it was best for me and my baby to stay at home.

You should ask to see the supervisor of midwives and discuss your situationAsk her to go through the risks for your particular circumstances so you can discuss them in detail. If you still want to go ahead then tell her you intend to have your baby at home and you'd like to know what they can do to accomodate your wishes and make things as safe for you and your baby as possible. Make it clear that you expect to be supported in your choice, even if they have reservations (which of course you will listen to).

if it is something that can be done after the birth, then i don;t see why you cannot give birth at home...

agree about seeing supervisor of MWs

and contact www.aims.org.uk for more about what you are 'allowed' to do

Thanks for your advice everyone.

I have checked hospitals as there are two options for my area and the MW's are suggesting I go to the one which has low dependency births and so I know it is more inconvienience of aftercare than anything else.

Def gonna speak to supervisor. She has been so supportive but have not seen her the last couple of times.

Yep, I'm having one contrary to advice as well. I think in lots of ways wherever you give birth you take your chances. As long as they are informed choices there is no reason to feel guilty about anything and you should just avoid those who would guilt trip you.

You can be easily neglected in hospital by staff who have more mums than hands available, you will be attended at home by midwives who have only you to look after, to me this seems like basic maths and common sense.

I don;t know if anyone has mentioned this already but have you considered getting an independent MW. I had them for all four home births. I'm not well off but this was the best money I've ever spent.

I went against my community midwives wishes regarding my last birth. I'd had prolonged rupture of membranes (over 24 hours! yeah right!), so they felt I was high risk for infection. But as my first baby had gone the same way, ruptured membranes for 48+ hours and then got forced into awful induced hospital birth, and yet baby was perfectly OK, I decided to follow my instincts and stick it out at home, and it all happened naturally...but a few hours beyond their max 48 hours limit they want to give you. But my son was born happy & healthy, without the least bit of problems or infection. So, you can't always trust what they tell you are real risks - sometimes they're just theories!

Best wishes with your decision & do join the HomebirthUK yahoo group - it's excellent with lots of helpful (and knowledgable) advice - I found the group invaluable with both of my pregnancies and births. x

I am another against advice homebirther - I have a blood clotting problem and they were worries about bleeding but the research I had done and studies pointed only to a tiny increase in risk of PPH. I also live 5 minutes from hospital. I felt I would have much more appropriate care at home and was watched by a hawk by 2 midwives who never left my side - my local hospital has a ration of 7 women to every midwife - much more likely that something would be missed IMO!

I had no fight in me though, I was so knackered from the pregnancy I had no mental energy to fight the NHS and hired an absolutely brilliant independent midwife at the last minute.

However - I would think twice if the risk was to my baby and not to me - do you know more about the kidney problem that your baby might have? Might he need to see a Paed straight away or be in special care?

Yes, I did it too (first birth). I weighed all the advice and decided that none of the risks were ones that would make me want to be in hospital, or that couldn't be managed adequately at home. I booked a supportive independent MW and the birth was great; had to transfer in soon after because of PPH (not one of the things they were concerned about), but very well worth it - a very positive experience.

I got classified very early as 'high risk' and had consultant-led care throughout the pg; most of the scary stuff would have happened pre-term and so when it didn't I went with what I wanted to do, having assessed the situation (and the possibility of a baby with some abnormalities)very carefully. I also thought hard about the lack of insurance for independent MWs. I did listen to the harangueing and irrational nonsense I got from a senior midwife about the foolishness of my plan and assessed it as such.

I think you have to be very clear about what the real risks are (understand them, how likely they are, and what it would mean if any of the things they are warning about were to happen) and feel comfortable taking responsiblity for being at home in those situations - and also in case of the usual risks of childbirth. I do think that they tend to want you in hospital for anything even if there's nothing obvious that can be done better there. I wouldn't have another home birth because I feel much more confident about my ablity to give birth in less than ideal surroundings (a hospital) now I've had such a good experience and I know that my risk of another PPH (after one)is serious enough for me to want to be in hospital.