Looking for positive stories/encouragement to go ahead with unmedicated labour

[Lalarosex]

hi mamas

FTM here 38 weeks. I really want to give birth in water unmedicated and have read hypnobirthing book and this is my plan. However every birth video/story that I hear makes me doubt my abilities to do it as women describe the excruciating pain of unmedicated birth or are absolutely screaming in videos. I have terrified myself

I am of course open to needing an epidural at the time but would like some encouragement and positive stories of unmedicated birth. Wishful thinking but can anyone tell me it’s not that bad haha!

Thank you 🙏🏻

Because all the pain relief options come with risks.

I had an epidural with my first which was injected too far into my spine and I couldn't walk or stand up for 4 days.

I had an unmedicated home birth second time around and I felt so much more relaxed. No less painful but I felt more in control and had a better mindset.

I didn't get a gold star at the end of it but I got to experience the labour I wanted and felt bloody proud of myself!

I had an un medicated induction. Not intentional- I wasn’t believed when I told MWs that I was in active labour. It was an amazing experience and absolutely the birth I hoped I’d have. I was in total control, I knew each contraction was getting me closer to meeting my baby and I really focused on getting him to me. I was on my own on the ward- DH had gone home at the end of visiting hours. I hadn’t done hypnobirthing but I think I used a lot of the techniques taught.

I had no pain relief as DS was so quick - just over 3 hours and the majority of that at home. It was fine - had gas and air for the stitches and that was it.

I have had two induced labours. First birth was with the pessary and total time was 12 hours. Baby was back to back. Managed to stay up right on a ball for nearly the whole time and then babies heart rate dropped so was forced on to a bed and had an episiotomy and ventouse delivery. I used gas and air and paracetamol during contractions

2nd birth was induced again. Didn't manage to have a pessary this time. It took three people to break my waters, contractions started but I couldn't feel them. Then I had the hormone drip. Didn't really feel much until they cranked it up to 6 and then it was pretty horrific. My midwife kept telling me to have an epidural but I refused as I was too worried about having back problems after. She said I was silly. She was very old fashioned didn't want me sitting on a ball, wanted me on a bed where she could monitor me. Then the baby dropped and total active labour time was 10 minutes with 10 minutes of pushing. I had gas and air, used a wooden comb which was good for early stages, an episiotomy and normal birth this time. It all happened very quick and my body didn't get time to get used to the pain and i was quite traumatised after.

I had a water birth recently, absolutely loved the experience and got through labour with TENS machine and then the pool.
Absolutely agree there are so many scary stories out there and much less said about smoother births. It's about trusting your body and being open to anything if things don't go the way you think they will. It did hurt, but I was surprised at how well I coped with the pain. Stay in the moment as much as possible and channel all your energy within.

Keep an open mind. With my first i birth in water unmedicated. I tried gas and air but didn't get on with it. I had listened to the hypnobirthing audio over and over and did a lot of practice. It hurt like hell but I got through it.

Second I had gas and air and epidural. The labour was much longer and I just couldn't handle the pain anymore after over 2 days in labour. I also had sintocin to help the labour along but I don't know if it made it more painful necessarily. I was just shattered.

Because we need to accept things may not go to plan. My first contractions felt like periods, then I had hypercontractions that put baby at risk and into severe distress as my contractions were over 2 mins long with less than a minute between them. Neither of us could recover before the next hit. The midwives, consultants etc all agreed they were not normal!

Babies end up in bad positions etc and I really believe that sub optimal conditions mean more pain. It's known back to back does.

So while some may be lucky in that all aligns perfectly and may have a period pain like labour, for others it may really not work like that and be even more painful than something that's already bloody excruciating! I don't tell my story to horrify and scare. I tell it while sat here with my amazing 8 month old that despite all the labour complications was born healthy thanks to medical intervention and EMCS. Take what you find you need. Had I had an unmedicated natural birth my baby would be dead. There's no medal for how you do it. The prize is a healthy mum and baby.

I had a water pool at home for both DC. For DC1 I ended up birthing by myself with no pain relief because the midwives didn't believe I was near to delivery, so didn't order any gas and air in time and were still standing around outside chatting. Fortunately, all went smoothly. (And I still chuckle at the memory of the looks on their faces as they wandered back in to find me calmly holding DD1.)

Yes it hurt, but I wouldn't actually say it was the most painful experience I've ever had (and that was despite tearing enough to need stitches). I tend to just go very quiet and into myself when I'm in pain, and focus on getting through it, so giving birth was no different. (Probably why the midwives didn't think I was far progressed, as I didn't make a sound!)

For DC2 I warned them I was fast and quiet for giving birth, so they were more prepared second time around. I did actually get some gas and air that time, which did nothing to reduce the pain, but made it so I didn't care that it hurt. 😄

I never felt the need for any stronger pain relief. But my pain tolerance does seem to be pretty high. So maybe consider how you are with pain in general, and use that as a starting point for deciding what relief you may require?

I had an unmedicated birth at home with ds1. I didn't plan it that way, I was just saving the gas and air until the pain got really bad and it never did. I'd had a really painful miscarriage the year before and I was expecting Labour pain to be like that but 5x as painful. It was probably a bit less painful than the miscarriage though. The pool was really good, I didn't realise how good until I got out to go to the loo, ouch. Also my labour was straightforward and only just over 4 hours so it wasn't like I was in pain for very long. Ds2 was born in hospital, no pool, and he was back to back so I had so much gas and air that the midwife kept telling me it might be a good idea to breathe some normal air every so often!

I ended up giving birth 5 hours after some paracetamol, so I assume pain relief free? It wasn’t intentional - I wanted a water birth, but had to be induced with the gel. Gas and air made me sick, so that was out too. We had done hypnobirthing (and I think I have a pretty high threshold for pain - have had some serious orthopaedic surgery in the past) but I felt so awful that I was asking for anything at all. Didn’t have room for me on the delivery suite, so couldn’t have an epidural, and was offered pethidine which had been my “line in the sand, definitely not happening”. I was practically in tears agreeing to it, and DH said afterwards that he felt awful because the hypno stuff wasn’t helping me at that point. Long story short, couldn’t have it because baby wasn’t active enough, but then it turned out I was ready to push 🙄. So, accidentally, pain free.

I do think the hypnobirthing stuff helped me though. And up until the point where I shouted “get it out of me”, it definitely did help me a bit. And I felt more in control in the run up to giving birth, which I think was the most valuable bit for me.

Congrats on your upcoming delivery. 🎉 I had a medicated birth on my first and currently 37 weeks planning a hopefully unmedicated birth this time round.

I feel a lot more prepared for it this time because I've accepted how much it's going to hurt. 😂 I've been working on my mindset for it, that it's completely temporary and my pain isn't stronger than I am.

Also preparing my partner for verbal affirmations, how to help position me to reduce pain, how to advocate in medical situations, how to provide counter pressure, how to apply a tens machine, etc , he's had a labour crash course in the last few weeks.

I also have a lot of things prepped to try in the early stages - more as distractions than anything. E.g. comb, aromatherapy, winner flow breathing device. I don't think I'll have the ability to want to deal with these in active labour though.

I would say don't get too attached to a birth plan - e.g. you might not get the water birth and have a back up plan just in case. I've written down my preferences for each scenario I could think of in my birth plan, including section if it's needed and that actually helped my mindset a lot.

If you do get an epidural, knowing how to prevent this from stalling your labour is important. E.g. lying on your left side, or reducing the dose down so you can be on all fours. Using a peanut ball, et c.,

Best of luck with your labour! Totally doable to do it unmedicated if your will is strong enough but either way you'll be so proud of yourself once you're holding your baby.

I've done it. I screamed a lot. But I'd say it was only maybe the last hour or two of contractions that were really next level pain I've never experience before or since. And crowning was like a blow torch to the fanny.

I think it's all in your mindset.

My cousin had 3 hypno births, she is tiny 5f 1' (I'm just setting the scene, I know size boxes my have anything to do with it) size 8 and had 3 babies all over 8lbs with no problems.

I had the works with mine, gas, air, epidural and spinal block, DS was 10lbs and got stuck. DD was emergency section.

If you have got the right support around you, go for it.

I really wanted to do this but after 14 hours or so I was in agony, and turned out baby had gone back to back. I really wanted to just do gas and air if possible but I had morphine to let me rest for a bit and in the end needed an epidural as she was moving so slowly that I was exhausted (28 hours in at this stage). More power to you if you want to go unmedicated and I hope it works out. I'm now pregnant with my second and would like to have a home birth but the thought of another 36 hour labour without the option of an epidural is a bit scary for me. I'd just try and keep an open mind and not be too disappointed in yourself if it doesn't work out the way it planned. My (otherwise lovely) MIL kept saying how she'd had no pain relief with her 3 deliveries until I chirpily asked why no one had been round yet with her medal and she then got the picture I think!

See what happens. That's all you can do. I had 2 home births. First one I had tens machine and gas and air. Second moved faster (not super fast at all) but midwife took ages to turn up and I was in the pool at pushing stage so although I tried gas and air it didn't seem to help and was just annoying so basically no pain relief. It was fine (by fine I mean really hurt but natural not unbearable, forgot about it afterwards). And I did have tears with both that needed stitches so that was worse bit.

I really mean this to be encouraging when I say this but it almost doesn't matter what other people's experiences are. No one you will speak to will have the same birth stories and if it's your first birth then you have nothing to compare it to so you can only go with what you'd really like to do and try. If you've got your heart set on a water non medicated birth then go for it. If you change your mind and there's time then you can ask for an epidural.

You can really get yourself into an anxious state over the unknown and other people's horror stories... but I've known people who've laboured at home and got to the hospital 9cm, people who've had emergency c sections but it was actually a calm controlled environment with a quick recovery.

You've got this lovely and you'll be back here giving advise to someone whose in your position now xx

I had a natural birth with no pain relief at all. I did have gas and air when they stitched me after though. Take the pain relief you feel necessary, no need to be a martyr.

I have had two “un-medicated” births, not intentionally. I went into both of them with a plan to use gas and air as needed and ask for further pain relief but didn’t feel the need. With DS1 I had first contractions at 10pm, had a shower at home and went in about 1am. I was able to walk and talk so they thought they would send me home but when they examined me I was 7cm so they kept us in. I got into the pool which personally I found really helped. I started to bleed a little so I had to get out so they could keep an eye and then I used the tens machine. This was amazing. DS was born at 5:30 at 7lb. I had a 2nd degree tear and they did offer gas and air for the stitches but to be honest I didn’t really notice them. I had a PPH so I was a bit out of it. I don’t remember much about a lot of it and it did take several weeks to feel normal again but that was due to the blood loss.

With DS2 I woke up at midnight on my due date with contractions, same process shower at home and then went in around 3am. I was not allowed to use the pool due to previous PPH but had the tens machine throughout. I thought I would use the gas and air but didn’t come to a stage when I needed it, I only had 2 minutes of active pushing though and DS2 was born in his waters at 8:30 - 9lb no tearing.

With both I started the ‘ladder’ at home and had 2 paracetamol as they recommended on the phone but I don’t think they did anything.

Kid 1: was induced via pessary, refused painkillers because according to the monitor it was very early days, then finally given pethidine when, as it turns out, I was already fully dilated. It did indeed hurt a lot, but I didn't scream or anything. I had music, and the fact that tha pain comes in waves rather than be constant makes it easier to handle.
Due to the midwife bodging my stitches I actually ended up with a spinal block post birth, as they had to fix the error in theater. Hated the spinal, made me feel very itchy and debilitated for a whole day after.
Kid 2: gas and air offered, but it was making me feel sick, so this time I did the entire labour and birth with nothing (there was zero chance I'd risk an epidural due to hating the spinal block).
Again, no screaming, although I did say at one point that I couldn't do it. Was not enjoyable at all, but immediately post birth I actually felt human, and not the debilitated wreak that the first more medicated birth had left me as.
Didn't get any kind of post birth high/sense of empowerment though, just gratitude that it was over.

Three births, all straightforward and no medication. I had some gas and air with DC1, nothing with DC2 and DC3 - there was no need and, with DC2, no time as it was very fast. DC3 was born at home, it was a very relaxing experience.

First birth with a TENS only. 8 hours start to finish.
Second birth with nothing. 90mins start to finish.

No screaming on either, just low moaning.

I'd happily give birth again with no pain relief.

If you have a relatively decent pain threshold, you'll be ok without pain relief.

I had 2 quick labours so no pain relief other than trying a TENs machine in my first labour which didn't work for me (I think I was too far gone when we started using it). I also did hypnobirthing and found the breathing hugely helpful to managing pain, when I didn't breathe through contractions I found them unbearable but when I used the up breathing I felt so much more in control.
I wasn't adverse to using pain relief if necessary, personally I said I would have considered G&A or an epidural if necessary and that was in my birth plan.
A birth plan is a great idea, just have plan B, C etc

I thought I had a high pain threshold until I had DD. It didn’t help that contractions were strong and minutes apart from the start when my waters broke and I had a very long labour.
I used as much gas and air as I could possibly get and pethidine which I loved as it made me so out of it and sleepy and I was exhausted already going into labour with no sleep. The last labour stage I felt I was giving birth to my entire organs and soul tbh (back to back and stuck so needed venthouse).She was only 2.5kg btw. I did feel the urge to push only once at the end as the doctor came in. Until then I still don’t understand what people mean by pushing. I just knew she was nowhere near coming out when they would tell me to push but at the end my body just took over. I am terrified of an epidural and was begging for it but it was too late.
I am only having another child because for one I hope it will be quicker and secondly I will absolutely be using the gas and air and pethidine. Without these I just wouldn’t have another.

i've went asking for epidural and all but didn't got one so all natural and i can tell it hurts yes ( sorry for the language but it feels like you pushing for a massive poo that is stuck) that when it comes out you feel a massive relief, and when you have the baby in your arms everything feels like it was just a dream you won't feel a thing 💕 looking back at it weirdly i wish i could repit the experience. Let's not forget that you heal better and not having the bad back pain, and dealing with a massive needle in your back!! anyway you choose , a massive good delivery for you and good luck ❤️

It's a lot like periods - you can't really predict how you'll feel and some women, through no fault of their own, have a worse time of it.