3rd degree tear and episiotomy

Mumofonexo · 2024-08-07T16:44:22+00:00

Hi everyone. Im nearly a year pp. I had a forceps delivery, episiotomy but also ended up with an additional 3b tear. Does anyone else have pain if you try and do perineal massage? me and my husband haven’t been romantic yet either. But when I push down doing the massage it stings so bad and I feel like I’m going to tear again 😭 will I need a fentons procedure or something similar?

Mrsttcno1 · 07/08/2024 19:47

Hi OP, I basically had identical, forceps delivery with episiotomy and tear. I’m 4 months postpartum now and when we first tried to have sex I was in AGONY and was convinced I was going to tear again, so I know what you mean! We obviously stopped, I went to the doctors and was checked over to make sure everything was okay down there and they confirmed it was and that is was basically just trial & error, and working up to it. We did that and 2 weeks later were able to have sex again and it’s been okay mostly since then for the last 2 months ish! It did take a lot of patience (on both sides) to get past it, it’s a lot of “warming up” but I did find a lot of it was a mental thing after awhile, I expected it to hurt so it did hurt x

Mrsttcno1 · 07/08/2024 19:52

Also OP are you using plenty of oil/lube? X

HappierTimesAhead · 07/08/2024 20:05

The rubbing against the hard scar tissue can also feel really uncomfortable/painful. There is an oil you can massage in to the scar tissue which supposedly helps soften up the area. Can't remember what it's called but googling scar tissue oil seems like a good bet!

Original poster

Mumofonexo · 07/08/2024 21:11

Mrsttcno1 · 07/08/2024 19:47

Hi OP, I basically had identical, forceps delivery with episiotomy and tear. I’m 4 months postpartum now and when we first tried to have sex I was in AGONY and was convinced I was going to tear again, so I know what you mean! We obviously stopped, I went to the doctors and was checked over to make sure everything was okay down there and they confirmed it was and that is was basically just trial & error, and working up to it. We did that and 2 weeks later were able to have sex again and it’s been okay mostly since then for the last 2 months ish! It did take a lot of patience (on both sides) to get past it, it’s a lot of “warming up” but I did find a lot of it was a mental thing after awhile, I expected it to hurt so it did hurt x

@Mrsttcno1
you are so brave trying at 4 months! I think I still had stitches then 🥺
I’m not sure if I’ve just got lots of scar tissue. I have the yes lube that I used to try and do the massage but I had to stop as it felt like bee stings! I’m seeing my physiotherapist next month so hopefully she can recommend something 🤷🏼‍♀️x

OP posts:

Original poster

Mumofonexo · 07/08/2024 21:14

HappierTimesAhead · 07/08/2024 20:05

The rubbing against the hard scar tissue can also feel really uncomfortable/painful. There is an oil you can massage in to the scar tissue which supposedly helps soften up the area. Can't remember what it's called but googling scar tissue oil seems like a good bet!

@HappierTimesAhead

I did try coconut oil but it gave me thrush 😢 I’m a little worried about using anything that’s not lube now x

OP posts:

Mrsttcno1 · 07/08/2024 21:25

Mumofonexo · 07/08/2024 21:11

@Mrsttcno1
you are so brave trying at 4 months! I think I still had stitches then 🥺
I’m not sure if I’ve just got lots of scar tissue. I have the yes lube that I used to try and do the massage but I had to stop as it felt like bee stings! I’m seeing my physiotherapist next month so hopefully she can recommend something 🤷🏼‍♀️x

Show quote history

You still had stitches at 4 months PP? Did you have them redone at some point in the months after birth? The stitches take 4-6 weeks to fully “heal”, although you can defo feel it and where they were, after 6 weeks unless they were restitched they would have been all sorted.

I’d try using just a water based lube if I was you, that’s what I use now and find it no problem x

Original poster

Mumofonexo · 07/08/2024 21:43

Mrsttcno1 · 07/08/2024 21:25

You still had stitches at 4 months PP? Did you have them redone at some point in the months after birth? The stitches take 4-6 weeks to fully “heal”, although you can defo feel it and where they were, after 6 weeks unless they were restitched they would have been all sorted.

I’d try using just a water based lube if I was you, that’s what I use now and find it no problem x

Show quote history

@Mrsttcno1

yeah mine took forever to dissolve! I had thick fishing wire ones that would poke through my perineum 😭 then I ended up with a hole that took months to close over too it’s been a nightmare. They refused to do anything as it could have made things worse for the healing so I just had to put up with it. I’m so annoyed because I now have a slight rectocele too.

I’ve got the yes water based one. I’ve got a kegel 8 machine so I use it for that x

OP posts: