Natural Vs C section

[izzieboo]

Not quite sure where to turn.
I my first baby a few months ago, but my DH is already talking about the next-if only he knew of the pain we go through.
My birth was nothing short of awful and it's seriously knocked my confidence of going through it all again.
I was induced which was meant to be done over a perios of 32 hrs which turned into 3 days as it was xmas.I wasn't allowed off the bed and made the bottom of my back pinch terribly. The drip in my wrist ached like no-ones buisness, and when i asked for an epidural i was given it too late so it didn't have time to kick in as she was out 15 mins later leaving a lovely tear. My DH wasn't the most supportive person either (he nipped down to the hospital cafe half way through to get a curry.
Like i said we're contemplating about another baby but i'm quite sure a c section is for me??!!
I felt like every request i made whilst in hospital the midwives looked at me as if i was an idiot, i thought it was due to me being only 21 - has anyone else felt the same?
I did mention a c section to my midwife when i had my very 1st appointment but she just shock the idea off and i couldn't really argue as i had nothing to refer to.
What to do? Please help any tips will be greatly appreciated.

If you feel a C-section is right for you then fight for it, I believe the NICE guidelines now state that Mothers choice should be taken into consideration. I suspect you will come up against lots of opposition though! Your age will be a factor as you have lots and lots of child bearing years left and a c section can cause problems in future pregnancies.

Other things you could look at would be to see a birth counsellor and discuss what happened and why. Also, trying to avoid induction is often a big part of having a positive birth experience. Having a supportive birth partner, ie a doula can also make the world of difference.

Lots of doulas and MWs on here who should be able to offer more advice! Good luck.

you poor thing. My first birth expereince was pretty grim and ended in an emergency c-section, but I can totally relate to how you feel. I got one of the obstetricians to talk through my notes with me on the ward a couple of days later so we could see exactly where it all went wrong, as it was all so frantic at the time. I think this really helped me come to terms with what happened. You can still do this by contacting the hospital patient liaison service and asking to see someone to discuss your notes.

Lulumama has some good links on birth trauma and how you can help overcome it, so hopefully she will be along soon to help.

Regrding your next birth, it's only been a few months so I can fully understand why you are thinking like this. Given some time and pespective you may feel differently, but if not, then your traumatic experience first time around should be grounds enough for opting for an elective section.

I had an elective with my DD 10 months ago, and although the birth was a much better experience, my recovery was awful with a wound infection and being unable to stand for about three weeks. It's not soemthing I want to put myself through again, so i'm planning a VBAC for my third (due in November)

.....and your DH sounds a bit insensitive to be even suggesting another baby this soon after that experience. Have you talked to him about how awful you still feel about the whole thing?

A birth doula would be a good idea as they help ensure someone is with you at all times and can help with expaining any medical interventions and reiterate your wishes when you are in an otherwise confused state.

congratulations on your baby

hi izzieboo,
i can empathise. I ended up 2 weeks late, induced, epidural didn't work but the midwife did nothing about it (didn't believe me!) 11 hours later screaming agony for 5 they resited the epidural. Instant relief, but only 1cm dilated so i asked for a CS at that point.

I'm not sure on the statistics re complications after CS vs natural childbirth, but i'm sure someone here will: that will give you better information so you can make a fully informed decision.

One thing i will say is that my CS was FANTASTIC. I had no complications whatsoever and my NCT pals all had tears and problems after their vaginal births- one has just had to go for surgery (baby 5 months old) to cut and re stitch her vagina because they stitched it up too much. So, it isn't all CS bad, VB good, but then you know that already.

If you really decide that when the time comes, a CS is what you want, i would explain that you had a very difficult birth the previous time and that you are terrified of it happening again. That has to be a clinical reason to consider the CS from their POV. Just be very insistent.

You may decide you want a half way house: ie, if you go into labour spontaneously before your DD, then to try and go the vaginal route as you are less likely to have complications than if you were late and had to be induced. This is what my SIL did: her CS was booked for her due date. She didn't go into labour spontaneously and ended up with the CS.

But it sounds like you need to have a chat with your DP for a couple of reasons, but at least to get him onside. Good luck

I had my one and only dd by c-section so i haven't experienced a bad natural birth but it sounds like you had a miserable time so sympathies.

I'd say 'steady on!' to your dh. There's no rush and you are still recovering physically and mentally from your baby's birth. Don't be pushed into doing something you aren't happy with yet. My dd is 15 months and i'm only just getting to like the idea of having another. You are worrying about things that you really shouldn't be having to think about yet.

If you feel your dh can't, or won't, understand how you feel, talking to a counsellor who deals with birth trauma is a really good idea. Also think about who could support you better during a birth when the time comes, maybe a sister/close friend/your mum would be able to offer more understanding and practical help?

Regards having a planned section, yes there are positives to it - you have more control, you avoid labour etc. But the recovery time compared to a vaginal birth (assuming straightforward) is longer - 6 weeks is the recommended time to recover fully. You are usually in hospital longer - about 3 days - and may find just walking/standing/generally getting about very uncomfortable for a couple of weeks. But if you really feel this is the choice for you then as MissingMyHeels says the NICE guidelines state it should be an option.

Good luck

it sounds like you could have done with more support for your birth

instead of going straight for a c.section, have you thought about

debriefing your birth with someone

and

having a doula for your next birth, someone who will support you before, during and after the birth, and definitely won;t go off for a curry half way through!! www.doula.org.uk and www.nurturingbirth.co.uk

surgery is not the easy answer.. i have had both a c,.s and a v.b and no contest for me at all

Thank you for looking. I'm going to try getting DH to read these comments. He's very persistant even after explaining how unsure i am of the whole idea of now now now!!
Any ideas on how i can get him to see how emotionally and physically challenging child birth really is, or is every man so unsympathetic? Everytime i try defending my decision to wait it end up in an argument.

Hi izzieboo. I was induced with my first baby and had a pretty awful experience. In fact it was so bad that I had two elective cesareans with my next two babies because I simply couldn't face giving birth again.

Between the birth of my third and getting pregnant with my fourth I had researched lots about childbirth (was planning to apply to be a midwife) and felt a very strong desire to give birth vaginally. I couldn't have coped with a highly medicalised birth like my first had been and so I chose to give birth at home. It was a truly wonderful, magical experience for which I am terribly grateful to, yet I also believe that the cesareans were also the right choice for me at the time.

I would encourage you to talk to someone about your previous experience and also explore your options for this time round. I would also recommend a book called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth which completely changed my perception of birth and was tremendously helpful in my last pregnancy.

I'm so sorry your first birth experience was so awful. I definitely think talking it over with someone would help, irrespective of what you decide to do in the future. Many units have an experienced MW who can chat through what happened and why. It can help you to put the bad experience behind you.

I had a very similar experience to yours, except mine ended in Em CS. I had a planned CS with DC2 as she was transverse lie and so I would never have gone into labour. It was fine and I recovered well. however, I do think you should explore the options before you go down the CS route. Talking to a sympathetic MW / consultant will be good about your birth plans once you are pg again.

Excuse the directness but I think you and your DH need to have a bit of a chat as well. You need support in labour and you clearly did not feel you had enough from him. Maybe another person (instead or as well) would be a good idea next time?

Best wishes to you.