Having my c-section alone (no family/friends able to help)

[offsidecrown1224]

Has anyone else had a c section alone? How did it go? What advice would you give?

My husband will stay with our toddler so can’t come with me and my family won’t be able to help due to not being able to get time off work (working in education).

Have you asked your friends to come with you?
If you can afford if you could get a private doula or even a babysitter to help you and baby.
Midwives should give you extra care on your own though.
It's scary but lots of mums did this during Covid xx

Hey there I did mine on my own due to Covid and emergency c section. I was in hospital for 7 days afterwards and honestly oj reflection it was my favourite time as it was just my son and I together, I didn't dread it or have fear as everyday I was able to bond with my son. Even now I don't have any trauma about it, it's a nice to have with someone there but you're going to be tired and sore, the nurses are there and you'll be absolutely fine. Stay positive and in the right headspace. You're going to do a great job xx

You will be fine. Decide if you have any special requests (eg for dc2 I wanted to see the sex for myself rather than being told). Make sure you have any snacks etc. Dh had to look after our toddler so although there for the birth itself (but to be honest was just there as a witness as both times the lovely medical staff were doing everything needed) otherwise was only around for limited visits. For dc 2 the best thing the hospital did was to tie a rope to the bottom of the bed so I could haul myself up - it was amazing!

I had emergency c section by myself and it was all fine. After the ops I just did all getting up/down/taking baby/feeding very carefully and didn't move any extra until I got better enough to start walking around. My DH came over every morning and brought over whatever I needed. I had made sure I packed enough clothes, drinks, headphones etc to entertain myself. My biggest challenge was constipation and hadn't prepared for that as didn't plan to have c section so pack stuff for that. In my local hospital the team was amazing and they were there always available to help me so I didn't feel like I would have needed my DH there more.
Of course it would have been nice to have DH there to share the birth but I just take it as it was what it was and I was very capable to take care of myself and our DD.

When I had mine I went into theatre alone and my husband waited outside because he’s a fainter and frankly I didn’t want anybody being distracted , it was fine . This was also in the days when there were visiting times and no dads staying on the wards 24 / 7 .

My best friend unfortunately now lives in Germany with her children, so she can’t fly over. I haven’t made any mum friends - I’m quite introverted and also was scared of other mums.

I went to an all girl school and was bullied, so apprehensive other women in general. I realise now, it’s very regrettable as I could use a mum friend in a situation like this.

my family can’t/won’t take the time off of work to come with me. My parents can’t because they’re both post-heart attack and the stress might be too much I fear.

I looked into a doula, I was wondering if I would feel more nervous about the doula than the birth. I think I would feel a pressure to he accommodating and appeasing, rather than able to use her help.

Do hospitals have chaperones or anything like that for women going into c section alone ?

When are you having the c section? Have you got time to perhaps now find a local babysitter and introduce your son to them so they can at least watch for the first day so your partner can be with you?

Exact same situation as when I had my baby OP. Please don't worry, you're in safe hands. I loved my solo experience because I knew everything was taken care of with my first child. The only thing I missed out on was that first indulgent meal post birth- I had to make do with cold slices of toast until the next day when my husband and first child arrived to meet the new baby.

Thanks! I’m glad to know it went well. I’ll make sure to bring food for myself rather than wait for the postnatal toast!!

what happens to your personal belongings during the c section? I’m also a bit worried about that.

When I had my section, I went up to the ward and left my bag in my bag there, and took one baby grow and a nappy down to surgery with me.
Afterwards I was returned to the bay where my things were.

My suggestion would be to pack the things in your case into zip lock bags or packing cubes and put a big sticky label on each one. Use a marker. So if you need one of the healthcare assistants or whoever to find something in your bag for you it's easy. Include a bag for dirty linen.

Good lists on the Childbirth board of what to pack for a c section. If you can pack shower gel with a hook on it (or a toilet bag on a hook) you can hang it on the back of the door rather than bend down for it while you're in the shower.

Stay in hospital for as long as you need.

I’ve had 3 c sections and was pretty much on my own for the last one, my (now ex) Dp drove me to the hospital and sat and waited to meet his new baby but literally did not come with me.
Its a bit awkward at first, but the hospital staff were awesome - and a fabulous man who was helping the anaesthetist sat with me and was very excited to be there (it was his first time being in a birth and he was thrilled) I stayed awake with a spinal block and it was fine.
Afterwards it’s quite nice to just have the baby to yourself, and certainly when you go home to have n visitors would be heaven.

You can do this !!

But maybe if funds allow look into a childminder or a day at a private day nursery for the toddler.

And, by the tone and way you write, I think if you pushed yourself out of your omfort zone - you would soon make some Mum friends x

I was on my own for an emergency secrion

i left my hospital bag in the assessment unit and took my handbag to theatre with me as they said not to leave valuables lying around.
it was a rushed prem birth so I’d not thought of anything I needed in preparation but the anaesthetist was by my side the whole time and was great, he reassured me and talked me through everything. He then got my phone and took photos of baby for me. So I’d say take valuable with you and make sure you have your phone to hand in theatre.

If time and funds allow I think I’d look into a babysitter to be with your toddler whilst your partner comes with you for the c section. Introduce them a few times beforehand so your toddler is comfortable with them. You don’t necessarily need anyone there for the section, but it’s nice to share that actual birthing moment together (provided he’s a supportive partner).

For us, our baby needed to go to NICU with complications straight after the birth, he was fine and returned to me after an hour, but I couldn’t go with him as was being stitched up, so it was nice to know my partner was with our baby.

I don’t think I’d bother with a doula if he couldn’t make it though, you’ll be well looked after anyway. For me personally, finding someone to look after toddler so my partner could be at the actual birth would be priority.

I’m sure you’d be absolutely fine solo, but are you sure there’s no one you could ask? I (and I think a lot of women) would be happy to provide childcare for a neighbour/nursery gate acquaintance if the alternative was the father missing the birth. Sometimes it’s asking for a favour that helps cement a friendship.

I think you’re right: we need to figure out childcare options for our toddler if my husband will be at the birth. I would feel better if he could be there, but also don’t want to leave toddler unless I know the person well/babysitter well.

in light of your comment, I thought I could hire a baby sitter every other month until the birth, and get toddler used to them slowly over a period of time?

what happens to your personal belongings during the c section? I’m also a bit worried about that.

I don't know! I can't remember what they did to my mini suitcase as I went into theatre! All I know is that everything was prepped and ready when I arrived back in the recovery suite!

And, yes, take lots of snacks! Also, things are much easier now with Ubereats/just eat to get exactly what you want without waiting around for someone else to bring you it!

Does your toddler attend any kind of childcare setting? Nursery?

If they do it may be a good idea to check if any of the staff offer babysitting in their spare time. That way your child would already be familiar with them.

But if not; I think it's a good idea to hire and babysitter a few times to get to know them and possibly a doula for yourself.

It does seem a shame for your husband to miss the birth though.

We were almost in the same position as our families live overseas, and Covid restrictions were still in place. I remember what a worry it was for me what would happen with my eldest whilst I was in hospital. Luckily lockdown was lifted just in time for my mom to travel here and take care of DS1 for us.

I hope you manage to find a solution.

Yes I had a c section with my twins alone it was fine and actually I preferred it to the first one I had when my husband was there

When I had my section my bag went on the trolly underneath me. I packed the baby clothes in complete outfits in ziplock bags. DH was with me but useless with clothing so I was making it easy. Although it was a midweek who went in the bag to find an outfit.