C section recovery- please tell me it gets better!!

[Thriving30]

Hi all just looking for reassurance really.
I feel at my wits end and just need some support.

Had an emergency c section after a failed induction just over 2 weeks ago. Intended to breastfeed- baby couldn't latch, screaming at breast, or latching but only having a couple of sucks then falling asleep. Turns out she has tongue tie. This has been really getting me down and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Felt really low as my birth plan was turned upside down and I only had a short period of time to process everything.

Been expressing since then and feeding baby what I can. Pumping every 3 hours getting about 60ml total each time. (Not enough for a full feed now, so I'm topping up with formula).

Had mastitis twice. Currently have it again and on second lot of antibiotics which still don't seem to be working. Breasts constantly lumpy, sore, aching, red. Feels like I have chest pain all the time. Don't know why I keep getting it and the doctors don't know either bc I'm pumping regularly and obviously sterilising everything properly in-between. I'm massaging, using heat compresses and also ice when not pumping, it's doing absolutely nothing.

Also have an infection in my wound which is also covered by antibiotics. The pain is improving slightly but it's still there.

I can't walk for longer than 15 mins without getting pain in my wound or breathless and needing to have a rest.
I still have the 'dragging' pain sensation when urinating especially when bladder is full.
I'm constipated and think I've caused myself damage bc It's like pooping broken glass and there's a little blood everytime I wipe.
Been on clexane, lactulose, and paracetamol since discharge.
Feel like my pelvic floor just isn't the same, when doing the exercises it's not as easy as it was before the c section.

Not really sure where to turn bc I've been discharged from the midwives.I just don't know why I'm having such a rough time of it. I feel like I'm constantly pumping, sterilising, taking medication. I can't enjoy my time with my baby. I love her to pieces. I feel like I'm drowning. I've not done a single thing for myself since discharge, no hobbies no watching TV or listening to music etc. I can't relax and I just have no time for anything.

I was fit and active before having my baby. I had a straightforward pregnancy until the end. I don't know why this has happened to me and I'm really struggling to cope.

If you've got this far thank you for reading.. from a very stressed out mum.

Sorry for brief response but didn't want to read and run. Sounds like you've been through the mill. Can you get some support with breastfeeding? My first son had tongue tie and I struggled on for 14w before it was diagnosed and divided. Game changer for latch and was able to phase out the formula top ups I'd been giving him for weight gain. I went privately for this. Search IBCLC practitioners as they are the only people qualified to help with tongue tie. Also got loads of support from my local La leche league. Good luck, OP and congratulations on your baby xx

It's so tough but it does get better, in my experience anyway. I pumped for 4 months and was also topping up with formula, and honestly looking back I sort of wish I'd just gone with formula. My baby didn't latch well (also tongue tied) and the pumping just took so much time, plus all the sterilising etc. I couldn't recognise the experience others talk about- cuddles on the sofa, watching box sets! I had to pump between every feed, then clean and sterilise and had to do all of that with a baby upset that I couldn't also hold them! Through the night too. Worse of both worlds, in hindsight.

I went to a breastfeeding cafe and had a lactation consultant, plus saw the infant feeding team, so I did really try and make it work. What I think would have really helped is someone saying- it's OK to just stop and switch to formula! Whenever I saw anyone they'd talk about pumping schedules and medications I could try, or tube attachments I could use to feed pumped breastmilk as if from the boob (? i forget, something like that).

If you are struggling, it's OK to stop pumping. It's of course also OK to keep going and just need to vent about it :) My kid is 2 now and all the worry about breastfeeding feels a long time ago.

Yes, it gets better but it's dreadful in those early weeks. I had a wretched emergency c-section recovery. It did take a out 6 weeks to feel human but I was ok doing gentle things at the gym at 12 weeks.

Have they given you stool softener or laxative? Stool softeners are better for anal fissures.

Yes it will all get better OP, you are having such an awful time of it though that's undeniable I'm so sorry :( agree with PP try to tackle feeding and get that improved - could you ask your health visitor how you access breastfeeding support locally?

Great you have antibiotics for wound, keep those up. Stay on top of your pain meds set an alarm to make sure you are not missing any. Rest as much as possible hopefully you don't have anywhere to go? Or any other DC? Try to settle down with a good box set and baby and just lean in to these mad days, I promise they will pass and you will be up and about doing lots of lovely mat leave things with your baby soon but the first month or two is for laying and sitting and cuddles x

Oh love it is absolutely wretched, take it from someone who has been there, you are not alone. Do you have any support? Ask everyone you know for help and take it. Wipe the expectations of yourself, if you get through to the end of each day and you're both in one piece then you're winning.

You're not designed to have an emergency section and then go home and look after a fussy newborn on your own plus recover from abdominal surgery and a pregnancy. If you think about it, it's absolutely nuts that you're expected to. Humans were not designed for this, it feels wrong because it is. It isn't you. Can you call on some help? If not, call your HV team and see if you can get a visit, might we worth a shout anyway re BF support. There's also La Leche League

It will get easier, I promise.

This sounds like a lot to be processing, I'm sorry the last few weeks have been so rough!

For the mastitis, have you checked your flange size on your pump? Most come with standard 24mm flanges (the bit you stick your nipple in) and these fit very few people. Using a bit of lubricant on these can also reduce chafing / help milk come out. Plus making sure you're letting milk down before the full suction comes on because that can be sore too.

Would recommend looking for a lactation consultant & maybe calling your midwives back to see what support they can offer post partum. E.g. physio recommendations, lactation consultant, etc.,

Hi, wanted to say - don't push yourself at all. I very consciously took it very easy for the first 5 weeks. So a 15 min walk to the corner shop pushing the baby was all I did.. my week 6 I was driving and doing longer walks.

I used to compare myself to a friend who always seem to bounce back quicker and then stopped. My recovery, my pace.

With feeding - bumping and formula feeding means you get the worst of everything.

I tired to breast feed before moving to formula. Spent Saturday evening for 3 other mums talking about it - we all had struggles and stopped at some point and all of our children are just fine.

So you can stop - just ask for advice on the best way to stop to prevent another bout of mastitis

Hey there! Totally get where you're coming from. Pumping can be a full-time job and switching to formula can be a game-changer. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to stop if it's too much. Your mental health and bonding with your baby matter most. If you’re struggling, know you’re not alone and it’s okay to make the switch. Your kid will thrive either way!

I went through a very similar experience.

It gets better, but your resolve will be tested.

OP I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. It is very hard to read stories about how easy c-section recovery can be. For some lucky women that is the case but for a good portion of the rest of us that is not our experience. It took me 6 weeks to feel like I could do anything “normal” again. I had my first attempted walk up the street at 2 weeks and abandoned it when I got to the end of the driveway.
I promise you it does get better. But it can be slow so you need to be super gentle and patient with yourself. If you had the funds I’d really recommend paying to see a private lactation consultant for a one off appointment. It is so worth the investment and can help you on your journey if breastfeeding is what you wish to do. They may even come to your house if you live locally enough.

How are you getting on, OP? Hope you have started to feel a bit better x

God, I could have written this except swapping forceps delivery with episiotomy for C section, and adding in a bit of fecal incontinence. And I felt like the whole health system just recoiled from me in those first few weeks. I remember the HV saying "I'm going to write "Mum mostly fine" in the red book after I'd explained everything to her with tears rolling down my face. What a country we live in.

I had very similar experiences breastfeeding. We got the tongue tie resolved but baby could only ever latch with nipple shields. I combination fed for 9 months, nipple shields, pumping and topping up woth formula, then he stopped breastfeeding of his own volition and I'm now (11 months) coming to the end of pumping. But the first 7 months or so I set an alarm every night for 3am to pump to keep supply up.

My motivation has basically been mental ill health, lol. Absolute hormone driven obsession, encouraged by god knows how many lactation consultants, feeding support volunteers etc etc. I did my best, but I did it more for myself than baby, if I'm honest. I wanted the experience of bonding through breastfeeding, and I wanted to make sure I'd done my best in terms of his health. (Although god knows how many microplastics are created through endless sterilisation of pumps etc)

You'll know in your gut when you're done and it'll be entirely unique to you.

If you're worried about pelvic floor, recovery etc, book a Mummy MOT (google it) - absolute game changer.

Thank you so much for your responses. It's been so helpful to know that others have been in a similar situation to me and hearing how you have coped with it all.
I didn't want a c-section at all but I've come to terms with what has happened and accepted that it was ultimately out of my hands. My beautiful daughter is here and she's healthy and that's what is important.
I've previously read on here about people bouncing back after a c-section and was feeling so disheartened because that's definitely not been my experience, but I think I need to be kinder to myself and realise that everyone's recovery is naturally going to be different. And there was always a risk of infection etc which I was warned about beforehand anyway when I signed all the paperwork.
I've got some good news though - I'm off my antibiotics (for now), the pain from my wound is much better and seems to be healing now, my boobs aren't red anymore but they are still a bit sore. I'm still pumping every 3 hrs, if I go any longer my boobs really suffer.. but with the pain from my wound subsiding I'm managing to go for longer walks now which is good.
Positives about combination feeding...my partner is able to do the feeds as it is so painful to hold her to feed her, with my wound and sore chest. But he has agreed to take that over for a few days so I can have a rest.
My baby's tongue tie has still not been sorted and she's not even latching onto nipple shields now, so I feel like I'm not going to be able to properly breastfeed her.. but I have to have hope, and if after the tongue tie is sorted she still won't do it, then I will just need to express. And if I can't cope with that, I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it, because 3 hrs isn't sustainable.. I'm barely sleeping. I think mentally I'm still trying to hold on to any part of my initial birth plan and this is the only part of it I have left.

I think mentally I'm still trying to hold on to any part of my initial birth plan and this is the only part of it I have left.

I had to reply when I saw this, as I felt exactly the same. I ended up with a shitshow of an emergency section and recovery and loads of complications that went on for weeks and I stubbornly felt like everything else had gone to shit, but they wouldn't take the breastfeeding, it was the only thing I had going for me at that point.

I was only thinking about this the other day funnily enough, and my kids are teens now, but given my time again with that experience would I have persisted with the BF. I don't know, and as we don't get our time again, it's immaterial really. I do know that I did not bounce back, I limped on, and I barely held it together. I felt like I'd been through an industrial shredder physically and mentally, you are absolutely not alone. Seek out help, and take it, and whether you stick with the BF or not, it will be good enough, and that's enough.

Sending love, take it easy on yourself, go slow, you have nowhere to be right now other than where you are.

Stop expressing and bottle feed. Baby will be fine. You are not a failure.

Press a cushion against your tummy when getting up.

Birth plans are for people who haven't given birth. Forget it and move on.

Honestly, forget pumping and just bottle feed. You had mastitis twice? That's enough. You need to prioritize yourself, so you can prioritize your daughter