Having C Section alone; any advice? (worried about not being able to sleep on the post natal ward too)

[offsidecrown1224]

I’m having a c section alone, husband will stay home with our toddler (3) as we have no family nearby to help. It will be at Princess Alexandra Hospital in Harlow.

During my last c section, which was an emergency and during Covid, I remember being left on a ward and the midwives being quite awful whenever I rang the bell to ask for help lifting my baby. I stopped ringing in the end.

I was also left with the curtains wide open while other women’s husbands/partners milled about the ward - I felt so uncomfortable having other men seeing me half undressed in a hospital gown.

I also recall the husbands/partners snoring away! And when I complained, I was treated like a nuisance. I just wanted to sleep after a very long labour and now operation. Not listen to someone’s husband snoring?!

This was at Royal London. My own husband couldn’t be there because he hadn’t been COVID tested (which we didn’t know he needed - we weren’t expecting a c section stay).

I know that PAH has private rooms, is it worth getting a private room (about a £100 per night I think?) or are the midwives kind and helpful? Will they close the curtains and help with lifting the baby?

I had a C-section alone as I was a single parent and it was awful, if I was ever in that situation again (not that I will be having anymore) I would 100% pay for a private room, I was the only one without a partner on the ward and the whole experience was just horrible.

Definitely get a private room, it's worth every penny.

if you're really on your own you might find it's even easier to get missed by staff in a private room, whereas in an open bay they'll be walking past fairly frequently.

I didn’t get a private room but was the only person on the overflow ward when I had DD so effectively got it to myself and had a really good nights sleep, which I think made recovery and those first few days much easier. If you can afford it, Id definitely to it. Though maybe check in advance as my hospital didn’t allow private rooms if you’d had a section

I sent my dh home for the night after my planned cesarean. Massive mistake. The night shift staff ignored me, berated me, and eventually took my baby away at 3am and gave him a bottle - he had severe reflux and cmpa, and I couldn't latch him, and they wouldn't help.

Can you take a friend instead? A birth partner, to stay and advocate?

Like you, dh stayed home with ds3 when I had our second (my choice, I didn't want to be worrying about our v sensitive boy) and I went alone for my vbac. Worked out great. BUT despite being 1 of 2 on my ward that time, and the other lady's baby being in nicu, I didn't get any more attention or help from midwives. I didn't need it this time as baby knew how to feed and despite the tearing, I was feeling great. If I'd needed a cesarean, I would have called on a friend to help me that first night.

I think they leave the curtains open for safety btw, to easily be able to check on you. I hated it in the first busy ward too.