Attitudes to homebirth

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Feeling p*ssed off after a dinner party last night where the other (child-free) guests mocked and tut-tutted at an absent friend for having a homebirth - they made her out to be a complete nutcase "earth mother" and were very disapproving about the "risks". I'm PG for the 2nd time and, after a disastrous hospital birth first time round, am planning a homebirth. I mentioned this early on in the conversation but they just carried on belittling this other woman's decision.

Grr.

Do I need to brace myself for more of this? What attitudes have you all encountered?

I had a terrible hospital experience for DD1 and went for a homebirth for DD2 - moved house so different set of mw who were much more supportive and keen on the idea.
My mil spent the whole of my pregnancy trying to bully and scare me into changing my mind - printing out negative articles from the net and newspaper scare story - made me so livid.
As it happens, I did end up having a last minute transfer to hospital but didn?t care - I was far more relaxed and happy at home and even when it went a little off plan (very big baby in awkward position and pressing on my sciatic nerve). Even the uncomfortable hospital journey at 10cms and pushing strapped to an ambulance bed was worth it.
Either ignore them - they are not talking from experience and are just mouthing off - or if you can be bothered, educate them with the facts and leave it at that. Whatever you do, don?t let other people?s opinions other than those who you trust - professionals - affect your decision

I had a fab birth in hospital first time round - epi, ventouse delivery, but no 'problems'.

However, this time round, I have been given the go-ahead (and total support) for a home birth, because I have an overwhelming desire to give birth this way this time.

I agree with the midwife, walliamsbaysmum, that your sis should be fine and her 'problems' were probably due to intervention.

Good luck, rouge, and I cannot wait for my homebirth in May (am meeting with MW on Sunday to discuss in greater detail )

I had a home birth with dd2 by accident i gave birth on my bathroom floor on new years day 98
only in labour 1hr ambulance came 4 mins b4 birth best birth by far so more relexed than hospital would deffo do again but last pregnancy not allowed due 2 having twins.

Really suprises me how people have the audacity to voice their opinion on how you intend to birth your baby (unless its perhaps a close family member who is worried). Where does this buddinski type behaviour end? So you have the baby, then they tell you you should or shouldnt breast feed, etc etc. It isnt anybody's business but yours. The utter gall of someone putting their nose in about how you intend to carry out your personal biological functions is really something else. Its different if you ask someone their opinion. But when I was attempting to have my home birth, I just couldnt believe all the "birthing" experts i had in my midst. All of a sudden, obstetric gyneacologists were coming out of the woodwork from neighbours to friends, to teachers. I dont tell them how to take a crap and they shouldnt be telling me how to birth. sheesh

Poshpaws, I'm not convinced it was too much intervention. The first time it was because the baby was completely stuck, and coming down the wrong way (she's been breech til 37 weeks, then she turned, but not the right way). That ended in deep forceps delivery, but an emergency section had been talked about. 2nd time was an 18 hour labour, by which time ds was exhausted and midwife felt she needed a hand, hence the ventouse. At the end, she got 2 healthy babies, after 2 hands-off labours until the very end when things went a bit pear-shaped. Hence my concern. It is completely up to my sister.

Hi there

I haven't personally had a homebirth but I have been a birth partner for a woman who had her 3rd baby at home. It was wonderful, relaxed, 1:1 midwifery care (with a midwife who listened!) and one of the best experiences of my life.

Also, re: stats it has actually been shown that a planned homebirth is now safer than a planned hospital birth. The only thing that seems to skew stats sometimes is when people don't realise they are in labour & have an unplanned homebirth (& women concealing pregnancies).

If I was to have another baby, I would definately 100% plan a homebirth. I find that most child-free people can seriously put their foot in it because they haven't experienced the love/guilt/responsibility etc etc of having a child yet & can totally not relate.

Maybe contacting your local branch of the NCT would help? There are a lot of people who are willing to support women whatever they choose, and probably have had homebirths too.

Becky

I had a home birth. I gave birth to my ds on 5.11.2005 at 2.10pm after 15 hours labour. He was born in my bedroom. I had no drugs whatsoever. the midwife was wonderful. a second midwife came in once i had reached the second stage of labour. My ds came out happy and healthy and (so far) has thrived ever since. I was relaxed (doing the washing in fact for some of the time). My husband was on hand constantly making me cups of tea and running baths for me. It was a wonderful experience and I would recommend it to anyone who is thinking about this. Incidentally this was my first baby and I am in my late 30s.