Attitudes to homebirth

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Feeling p*ssed off after a dinner party last night where the other (child-free) guests mocked and tut-tutted at an absent friend for having a homebirth - they made her out to be a complete nutcase "earth mother" and were very disapproving about the "risks". I'm PG for the 2nd time and, after a disastrous hospital birth first time round, am planning a homebirth. I mentioned this early on in the conversation but they just carried on belittling this other woman's decision.

Grr.

Do I need to brace myself for more of this? What attitudes have you all encountered?

I know Tommy - I kind of put it down to her own ignorance as to how homebirths work. But recently I was suprised to see on a leaflet about our GP surgery that she's the pregnancy expert!!!!

I'm vaguely thinking of a home birth at my midwife's suggestion. Only negative comments have been from other mothers tbh. In fact, negative comments are more likely to make me have one. . Has given me a lot more faith in my midwife that she suggested it.

Oh are you Tinker? Do let me know if you want to know anything, I do thoroughly recommend it. Hatter, I had unhelpful comments from my GP too. If I was having another (which I'm not) I don't think I'd even tell my Gp, I'd go straight to the midwives.

Vaguely. Don't have to decide until 36 weeks so will see how it's all going. But "mil" is keen on the idea, "eases childcare arrangements". Does it? But had dead straightforward birth last time and really don't want an epidural so...we'll see.

No it doesn't, they insist you have someone on standby to look after any other children just in case you have to transfer to hospital. And you really don't want that to be your partner I guess, since you want them there for the birth. But there are a million other great things about home birth and if you don't want an epidural there's no particular reason to go to hospital, unless you feel happier there.

And I do realise that some people feel happier with hospital!

Suspect I might get more of a rest in hospital though. Think I'll just delay going in til last minute so decision is made for me. A typical Libran strategy I think.

If somebody announced that they were going to do something which I knew absolutely bugger-all about, I'd be interested to know what motivated them and why they were doing it, not dismissive and derisive about it. What IS the matter with people? Why do they feel they have the right to be derisive about somthing they know absolutely nothing about? Rouge, I think you need to go to different dinner parties, with people who aren't so closed minded!

Well Tinks you've absolutely got a point about getting more of a rest in hospital!

Having birthed in a birthing until using nothing I don't have at home anyway (well the bath was bigger than our spa bath but not much) if I was having another one I would birth at home. The birthing unit is literally across the road, so it's not a distance thing.

I certainly wouldn't bother going to hospital for 6 hours. It's 2 days here, which is more realistic.

Midwife told me when she does home birth they leave the house as they found it (and I think they bring all the plastic and stuff as well, no having to improvise). They used to say they left the house tidy, but some were so messy that became a promise they couldn't keep.

If people are critical about a woman's decision to have a home birth then it might be worth pointing out to them that the evidence demonstrates that it is just as safe for a woman with a healthy pregnancy to have a planned home birth as it is for them to give birth in hospital. The increased risks only really come into play when the woman or baby have problems or the birth is unplanned for some reason. The evidence is far more compelling than individual anecdotes and personal opinions. IME women with complicated pregnancies usually ask for a home birth when they have had a previous distressing experience in hospital.

Actually I found i got more rest with my homebirth. In the hospital I was expected to walk miles (it seemed) to go to the loo or get food and there was always somebody being wheeled in or a baby crying during the night. At home DD was born at 7.46 am and MIL took DS for the day from about 10 until about 6.30. So I just laid in bed and received visitors. If I wanted the loo I only had to pop into the en-suite and if I wanted food or drink DH was there to oblige. The phone was just there and everything. DH put DS to bed (he sleeps through) so then there were just the three of us in our nice, comfy bed.

I had a few comments, mainly from DP's mum who thought I was too old, and DP who was horrified at the idea.

Silly buggers.

Glad this thread has had such a big response - thank you everyone for your positivity. I think I might have just about stopped seething now, and am prepared for the next time this happens!

Saw GP today - very supportive (unlike GP at booking appointment when pregnant with DD) - booking appointment is next week with a different GP so let's hope he's as positive. If not, he certainly won't stop me.

I hope I don't offend anyone here, but the thread is very topical at the mo in our family. Ds has just announced she's (seriously) thinking of going for a home birth for her third, due soon. First was a horrendous forceps (emergency section was being prepared), 2nd was a ventouse (she reckons was unnecessary, but she was exhausted apparently, and the midwife recommended it). Anyway, the midwife this time thinks she'll have no problem with a home birth , and that the previous problems were due to too much intervention. I know that if anything went wrong, she'd be taken into hospital, but who wants that in the final stages of the second phase?
Now - she is my sister, and I love her dearly, but I can't help feeling this is not clever. Please can someone help to put my mind at ease?

Am no expert but if her midwife has confidence that she can do it I think I'd feel quite relaxed about that. My mother had 2 tricky births before me and I was born at home (with the cord around my neck) and all was well.

I think the best strategy is not to actively tell people that you are having a homebirth, unless you are willing to enter into a debate.

If you do end up discussing it, there are a few key statistics that you can come up with that will cancel out any arguments in favour of a hospital birth. Nicky Wesson's book is very good at providing this information.

Then it's good to acknowledge the fears of the other side and say that you used to feel exactly the same way.

And to mention that you are actually getting better care at home (the undivided attention of two senior midwives) than you'd get in hospital, and if anything did go wrong, you'd be prepped for theatre in the ambulance and would not be at any disadvantage as if you'd laboured in hospital.

That's before going into the actual advantages of homebirth.

I only had one person tut-tut at me openly (who knows what some others thought privately)? Many people said things like "Good for you!" or "I wish I'd done that". Including a radiographer working at the local hospital (very supportive).

ps: walliam'sbabymum: I think your sister's MW is right. If the labour doesn't progress, they move them to hospital. That's what a good MW does; assesses you, makes sure it's going smoothly. Gets you to hospital in time for interventions if they are going to be necessary. By the time your D-Sis needs interventions (if she needs them) she'll be in hospital, these things rarely develop suddenly. And interventions do lead to more interventions.

The current homebirth-type thinking about breech babies, for instance, is to let labour progress. If it doesn't progress steadily, go straight to C-section. Don't faff around with other interventions because they only make things worse.

amerryscot, is this the Nicky Wesson book? Seems to be out of print?

It is out of print. I sent mine to a mumsnetter who must have had her baby by now, if you can work out who it is you could put a call out for her. Or start a thread asking for the book.

Well, the director of midwifery at my local hospital told me to have a homebirth next time. Either that's because I'm a troublemaker and she doesn't want me cluttering up her nice clean (unsupportive) hospital or because she truly believes that somebody who had her first baby in the water without pain relief can manage perfectly fine at home.

Just got to get pg again, then convince DH that our house is suitable for a birthing pool...

The eejits who mocked the homebirther are misinformed and tbh not the kind of people I'd be very interested in having conversations with in the future if I were you

And why do people use 'earth mother' in such a derogatory tone anyway?! Like it's a terrible thing to be - weird!

the only thing that would put me off a homebirth would be DH's promises to tidy up, knowing that I would have to haul myself out of bed and do it myself

highlander - you're right. The host was a friend of DH's - I've always liked her but have now gone right off her because TBH that wasn't the only comment about mothers that I found insulting that night. Very dismissive of SAHMs too. Grr.

Mooseofawaterwitch - I'll start a thread re. that book - thanks.