Doula V's Independant Midwife

[Tinkerisdead]

I dont know if I can articulate my thoughts on this clearly so Im going to try writing it down and see if I can get some advice on here to clarify my thoughts a bit.

Im only 8 weeks pregnant but after my booking in was left thinking about birth options. I would dearly love a homebirth but DH is not keen. The only apprehension I have is that I have suffered a haemorrage after a termination in the past and I live half an hour from the hospital.

DH perceives hospital as safer but I feel I would be better at home. The things I want from a homebirth is the relaxed part, mobility, less intervention etc however I do want one to one attention from midwife or the like and I know this may be strained in a hospital.

The only other option I can think of is to labour for as long as I can bear at home with a doula or independant midwife and then transfer to the hospital but I am not sure which would be the better option? i'd think to start forming some decisions as if i opt for an indepaant midwife i'd like to find one early one.

Im really not sure which would be better to have though? Id like to think the other person could identify if I needed to transfer to hospital and to encourage my DH whereas my mum would push him aside so feel like I need an independant person.

sorry for long post and rambling, its just hard trying to map my thoughts and wishes into a tangible solution!

sorry not sure which is better for my needs a doula or an indpendant midwife rather than the homebirth/hospital. alsthough thoughts to allay concerns on homebirth would be welcome.

A doula will accompany you to hospital and be present during the birth if you want her to...

but would a doula recognise if i was in trouble and recommend i transfer to the hospital etc IYSWIM?

1 handed typing, scue me.

doula has no med training is not allowed to offer various things you may like/need to have eg

antenatal care
sweeps
gas and air
tear stitching
episiotomy
malpresentation management
3rd stage management
etc

we just used and indy mw, continuity of care before during and after was magic. her labour mangement skills superb. si i am biased. truly, someone who you've talked it thru with in close detail is huge help. £3.2k from week 35 for us in central london

not easy for some im's in some hospitals btw!

merryberry - i never thought of that, so the midwife could "medically help" me whereas a doula could only "support" me.

If i then transferred to the hospital I am right that the indepandant midwife couldnt deliver me but could stay throughout? can i continue nhs antenatal care and have the ind.midwife for labour/delivery to save costs?

If you get a good IM I bet she'll manage to change your partner's mind about homebirth. Most men feel like this - they need to talk to an expert in normal birth, ie a midwife, to put their mind to rest about the safety issues.

Personally I would always book with an IM if I had the money - doulas are great but there's no substitute to having all your care from one person - including your postnatal care. I had a IM with both my second and third and it was the best money I ever spent.

You can sometimes just book the birth - but in my view the postnatal care and help with breastfeeding is just as valuable as the care you get in labour. Plus, if you have all your antenatal care with them you always have someone at the end of a phone to talk to if you're worried about any aspects of the pregnancy.

Go on woman, treat yourself, YOU'RE WORTH IT!

Most people give birth only a couple of times in their lives, and remember it forever.

Sabire - Ive booked her! The independant midwife. She's coming to see me on monday. I feel so much more positive, that I can aim for a homebirth that I want and if i need to transfer to the hospital she will stay with me through the birth and after. I think my key concern was the thought of being left in hospital, with shift changes etc and the lack of consistency.

This makes me feel so positive, that even if things go wrong I have a medical professional with me all the time looking out for mine and DH's interests and who has taken to the time to get to know us.

thank you :-)

good on you. mine was a godsend, enjoy recent birth story if you have time!

sabire... I support all of my clients that want postnatal support including breastfeeding. I am a doula.

I think an IM is a good idea but what you should check is whether or not she's registered (or is it insured... I can't quite remember) with your local hospital because if she is (or has permission to be a mw at the hospital) then you get the best of all worlds.

MarsLady - I know doulas do great work with their postnatal mums

IM don't usually have insurance and most hospitals don't do 'honorary contracts' for them now. That doesn't mean they can't support you in hospital.

I transferred in from a hb with my IM. When we got there they pointed out that she was no longer allowed to provide clinical care for me, but as soon as the door of the labour room was shut we forgot about that.

Yes - the NHS midwife was the 'lead professional' but every decision I had to make about interventions I made in partnership with my IM. And when my baby was born it was her who caught him and got me to pick him up myself from the bed - the NHS midwife had wanted to make me turn around, sit down and then pass him to me - I know it sounds like a trivial thing but to someone who'd had a previous forceps birth followed by a birth marred by shoulder dystocia, this one small thing made all the difference to my experience of meeting ds for the first time.

Sounds like you had an excellent IM.

Merryberry - just read your story, The key thing that Ive gleaned from your write up is despite it being a bit hairy at times! Your sense of trust and calm with the IM really comes through.

Im sick of people telling me that its dangerous to have a HB when to me, thats how millions of babies were born before the NHS and seems normal and natural to me. I want to have a natural child birth as a function of my body not a medical procedure!

Thanks for sharing your experience and well done on getting such a whopper out without intervention as you had hoped