Hubby at birth?

[MacMac123]

I know this might sound wierd, but I am really not sure I want my partner at the birth of our first child. I just want to be able to get on with it in private, and I think he'll get in the way.
I haven't broached this with him yet, he'll be really surprised. any thoughts anyone?! Does anyone feel the same way or am I mad?!

Has anyone read the article about why men definitely should NOT be in the same room at the birth? This man claims that since men have been encouraged into the labour suite it has prolonged births and increased the use of interventions and the use of pain killers. I have to agree, actually, at the risk of offending anyone who's politically correct, that a man's place is in the kitchen where he can keep his worrying to himself.

If there's someone there who is feeling stressed it is stressful for the mother; some men find it negatively affects their sex life with that woman forever afterwards; mothers need to relax and focus on the birthing process not on whether their man is okay/being sick/watching them poo etc... giving birth is not a pretty process and it's not at all dignified.

My DH was at the birth of both of our children but only because he'd have been offended if I'd said no. How sad is that? It's not about the man's feelings, it's about the woman's needs and the baby's ease of passage. It's about time someone spoke up about it. I'd love to have afforded a doula and I'm pretty sure both births would have been a lot shorter and calmer without DH there.

I saw the article and watched the interview yesterday. I have real all Michel Odent's books and have researched the topic myself (I am an antenatal teacher)

Hormones play such a HUGE part in labour and having someone with you who is anxious and worried or scared can impede your labour.

I always ask my clients if the partner wants to be present and if he DOES I coach them as to what they positively do - if they DONT they are grateful for the opportunity to discuss it and explore their feelings.

I belieive it is a personal and individual choice for each couple and many of my clients have their mum, sister, friend or doula with them to support their partner.

Anecdotally, many women have an epidural simply because their partners can't deal with the labour and encourage them to do so.

Fascinating subject.

Oh, and my DH was with me for both my births and neither of us would have had it any different.

Hi Temps, It is indeed a fascinating subject... he also mentioned that women have much smaller close social networks around them these days compared with several decades (and more) ago, tending to make them decide to have partner present. This is probably the main reason I had my DH there, as family and friends are now scattered. Really would rather have had females only there, though. I was in no position to insist DH didn't go near the business end, unfortunately - too busy straining to be able to talk!