Warning- feeling sorry for myself! I'm 41 weeks pregnant with my much-loved and planned second baby. I had a positive birth experience with my first and I feel as ready as I can be- psychologically and practically- to give birth, and I don't think I'm anxious and scared. Although I am excited to meet my baby eventually, I am even keener to hang on to this pregnancy for as long as possible- I'm uncomfortable but it's not killing me, I'm sleeping pretty well and I'm enjoying hanging out in relative peace and quiet with my toddler- cooking, cuddling, pottering, taking him out for lunch etc. Due to a number of shitty, unexpected things happening within our family since I've been on maternity leave for the past 6 weeks (next to no childcare, husband continually poorly, a car accident, and basically doing absolutely EVERYTHING alone and without much help) I am worn down, and stressed out, and only finally in the past few days have things gotten back to normal and I have been afforded a rest. Literally just had a few days to compose myself and get some relief.
When I stop to think that my baby will be here by this time next week, it fills me with dread because I know how absolutely exhausted I'm going to be. I have a lot of misdirected and private anger towards family that haven't been able to help me and I'm bitter that I haven't been able to just rest and look after myself and my baby like I deserve to. Please tell me I'm not alone and there are others that didn't feel 'ready' to bring their baby into the world just yet! The message is always that I should feel that I CANNOT WAIT to meet my baby when the truth is, I can, and I feel very guilty and alone with this feeling.