experience of labour second time around

[Mog]

I'm fast approaching the birth of my second child and would love to hear people's experience of the second time. Did painful (literally!) memories come flooding back with the first contraction or did you feel you had learnt so much from the first time that the whole thing was easier to cope with.

The first time round all my contractions were in the top of my legs and never fell into a pattern so I opted for an epidural and probably never really experienced a proper labour. The 2nd time the contractions were where they are supposed to be but it took me a while to realise what they were. I had been induced and my labour was very fast and not all that painful until the pushing bit - I had walked from the labour ward to the delivery room with a large cushion over my shoulders and 20 minutes later was holding my son - no time for pain relief. First labour had been 27.5 hrs and 2nd labour 4.5 hrs. Given the choice again between no. 1 and no. 2 I'd go for No. 2 regardless of the pain (and fear when realised the baby was coming and no pain relief possible as gas and air had made be sick). It is amazing that one minute you are thinking I am going to die it this pain doesn't stop and next it has stopped and you are fine and so happy to be holding your baby.

Yes memories came flodding back... but from a 24hour labour (with 6 hours of pushing) I went to 5 hours (with 40 minutes of pushing)...I did get scared at first but ten quickly got on to labouring.... so that the baby would come out quickly and not faff about begging for any sort of pain releif

"Learnt so much from first time that it was much easier to cope with"

Plus it was faster (2 vs. 8 hours), anyway. Most everybody I know had a fantastic 2nd birth, in spite of some pretty horrific first-time stories.

I'm another whose first and second labours were like chalk and cheese. First was sl.o.o.o.w, I was given a drip/epidural, then had agonising pain for a 1.5hr 2nd stage.

I was induced with oral hormones at 40wks+10 with ds2, had a 4 hr labour with virtually no pain at all except briefly in rapid 2nd stage. I mostly had an incredible stretching sensation instead, weird and breathtaking but not sore.

Labours 3 and 4 were longer and more painful, which was something of a disappointment as everyone kept telling me I'd give birth in the Mat Unit car park!!

1st labour was 23 hours from very beginning to bitter end with everything kind of hazy from 11pm when I was 9cm to 3am when DS1 was born by ventouse. 2nd one was shorter - 19 hours! BUT with only 18 mins of pushing.

I did feel that my body knew what it was meant to be doing - it was only at the end with DS1 when in a moment of clarity, I realised which muscles I was meant to be pushing with . However, with me, the key bit of the 2nd labour was that DS2 was nearly 2 weeks early and therefore 2lbs lighter than DS1.

I think 2nd labours are "easier" if only because it's not such a great unknown. You have a reasonable idea of what's going to happen and how painful it can be. 1st time round I thought "How much can it possibly hurt? It's what I'm built to do..." 2nd time, the pain is easier to cope with because a) you expect it and b) you know it stops as soon as the baby is born. I still thought "oh s*!" when I got that first twinge though

Good luck!!

The second time was much faster than the first (1 hour, vs 6 hours)and the second stage for dd2 was just 6 minutes - three pushes and she was out. No time for pain relief either time (left it a bit late to go to hospital with the first). The speed of dd2's arrival did make it feel as if everything was out of control, but that was more than compensated for by not feeling nearly so exhausted afterwards.

Don't worry it's so much better the second time because you know what to expect. I was warned that I might get all these memories flooding back and I had none of them. I only wished I'd remembered how hungry I was afterwards and how there was absolutely nothing to eat in the hospital at 2am. Bring food!
My first labor was 40 hours followed by a c-section and my 2nd was 5 1/2 hours with a vaginal birth.

It's very reassuring to hear all these positive second time experiences. I confess to having become quite terrified at the prospect of birth again - remembering how painful it was but most people do seem to say that second time is better with less need for intervention. I had a ventouse the first time and painful episiotomy. Hopefully all that can be avoided this time. I'm even considering a home birth to create a more relaxed environment.

I think all second time mums worry as surely the ignorance of first time labour is bliss!

My first labout was dreadful - 37 hours of back labour with ARM and Syntocin, followed by a ventouse delivery with second degree tear. And a 9lb12 dd to show for it!! Owwwwwch! I was a bit nervous about it the second time around, as they didn't know why dd had been OP. I knew it was going to hurt as I hadn't had an epidural first time around, and I was very worried about a bigger baby!
In the event ds was a 'textbook' 10 hour labour, he was the right way around, and as he was 10 days early he was 'only' 9lb3!
It certainly hepled that I had been through it before as the pain had been quite scarey first time, and I was much more in control second time round.
What I was really worried about was my waters breaking, as this had been done for me the first time, and I had a bit of a paranoia about it happening in the street! But in the end they went in bed (first sign in the end) and then everything went smoothly after that.
All the best Mog, I'm sure it will be fine and do let us know when Moglet arrives!

I'a glad that you asked that question Mog as I was worried about the same thing. I am also worried about tearing again. Midwife says you have less chance of this second time around but still worried.

My first birth was a premature birth, waters broke at 33 weeks, and ds born a week later and in SCBU for 2.5 weeks, birth was induced and had epidural and forceps delivery and was cut so all pretty rough, lasted about 16 hours I think.

I was v worried about birth of dd, but felt much better once I got past 34 weeks. Had v good support from my midwives at Albany Practice and resulted in a water birth at home, no pain relief, and really lovely experience compared to first time. Lasted about 7 hours.

So in my experience, second birth was much better, knew what to expect and how to prepare for it, ie did not want to be strapped down with monitors like first time but be able to move etc.

Good luck

Good luck all of you expecting your second. I can also add to the better experience 2nd time around stories. Grim first birth, over 20 hours, unable to cope with pain, had all forms of pain relief, emergency delivery ventouse and forceps, episiotomy and very difficult recovery.
2nd time: under 2 hours, one push and no pain relief. Tore very badly but ime the repair to a second degree tear is preferable to the repair on an epi.
Hope it all goes well for you too.

The second time was much better than first time and my first time was not bad but induced (but very quick).

Even if your second labour is not the breeze we all hope for, I feel that you know a lot more (hopefully). I think first time around I wanted someone to point out to me that the pain would not get any worse than it did so I would be able to cope. Second time I recognised things and gave myself a generous time table for dealing with it and was still laughing (hear my Ho Ho Ho!).

Everything was much quicker and there was less to heal second time around. By day three I didn't need to douse myself in water each time I went to the lou (this took about a month plus first time). Breastfeeding was much easier too as everything was a bit more used to things.

I was hoping everything would be easier but dreading that I was playing with fate. It turned out better than I ever imagined but also something deserved.

What were the good/bad points about your first birth? The bits you do and don't want again?

I can't honestly say the 2nd time was hugely easier than the first. I got stuck at 4 cm both times, but with ds2, it all shifted much quicker, although I was so shattered after being told not to push for nearly 4 hours! Had less pethedine second time, no stitches, breastfeeding was a walk in the park, although I did seem to bleed more heavily and for longer than the first time. I do remember thinking "Now I remember, and I don't want to do this again!" But really I needn't have worried - I ended up going to the unit at about 6pm and DS2 was born at 12.45am. DS1 grumbled all Christmas day, went in at midnight and he was finally born at 7.15pm on Boxing day!! Bloody long haul! It wasn't as scary the second time around - I felt more in control and less like letting people 'do' things to me without asking or protesting. First time, it was all such unknown territory, I felt like a tresspasser who had stumbled into this strange land!!

First labour = 5 hours, second labour = 2 hours. Knowing what to expect did help although that was maybe because I had had an ok time first time round, if it had been awful it may not have helped to know that second time around IYKWIM

Hello everyone, I'm new to this as I only found this site last night but I thought I'd add my birth stories even though this discussion stopped awhile ago.
My first birth was horrible and my birthplan was, looking back, ridiculous! I didn't want an epidural as I was sure I could do it on gas and air...Oh how wrong I was! from the first tiny pain the whole thing took about 30 hours but only about 12 of those were really bad. When I gat to hospital I was convinced I'd be at least 7 or 8 cms but I nearly cried when the midwife said I wasn't even 3!! I got my self in such a state because the pain was so bad and I didn't want an epidural that that was the only thing that was going to work. The difference was amazing and I amost enjoyed it....Almost!
Now number 2 took 3 1/2 hours from the first pain and even then I wasn't sure if it was the start as I'd eated about a pound of grape during the day. Anyway hubby when off to get my mum at about 01:45, by about 02:15 I knew things were going quite fast as I coundn't feel the Tens machine
on full. I called an ambulance at about 03:00 with hubby still about 40 minutes away ( Mum lives 60 miles away)and they arrived at about 03:30. I remember them saying don't push again until we tell you too, well I can honestly say I wasn't pushing he was just coming out. Hubby was just running up the stairs when the second gush and he came out, still without any pushing. There wasn't any chance of pain relief until the midwife arrived after the delivery to do her needlework on my nether regions when I had gas and air and I was lovely!!
I always said I wouldn't have a home birth as it makes too much mess but on that experience I would do it again although maybe not just on the bedroom floor as it took ages to get the carpet clean!!!
Phew, that was a long one wasn't it!!

My friend has just had her 2nd - 50 minutes from first twinge to babe in arms! And her DD (not a small baby at 8lb 8oz) was born with her waters still intact. Talk about blink and you've missed it!

I think it is very brave to choose to have another baby , after surviving the experience once!
When I arrived at hospital (after phoning labour ward to tell them I was coming in and being told to take painkillers and go back to bed - which I luckily didn't do) I wasn't actually permitted into labour ward! When they finally did it was too late for painkillers! It put me off giving birth again and dd will, unfortunately, grow up as a single child.
Mog - would love to hear how it went for you though.
Lollypop - did you tear again? I don't understand why it's less likely to tear second time around.

Isn't the reduced likelihood of tearing because everything has already been stretched once and generally does not regain its original tautness...

Oh Lord, Bozza, just what we wanted to hear...

Anyway, have been comforted by this thread as I too had a horrendously long, painful and exhausting first labour, with tears (both the salty and the ripping kind) and blood loss and general horribleness. Was not looking forward to the next one (a mere 6 months away but very much dreaded). I hope I am going to be like the rest of you ladies and not be the one that had a worse time with the second! Funny that the 3rd / 4th can be worse than the second. Was my Mum's experience definitely.

My first was horrible- the second nowhere near as bad. Helped to have known midwives 2nd time, so that when they said "not long now" & I wailed "that's what they said last time", their "well it's not like last time" was comforting. First labour 13 hours (1 hr 40 pushing- got stuck) & retained placenta for dainty 6lb 10 oz DD, 2nd less than 5 hours, proper urge to push (20 mins) not felt first time for 7lb 12 oz DS1.
DS2 also got stuck- got to hosp 9.5 cm dilated & all over in 1 hr 50 mins; & for DS3 got to hosp far too soon at less than 2 cm @11 am, born at 5.30 pm after 6 minutes pushing! (8lb 7 oz)
Each labour & delivery was completely different. Unfortunately had stitches with all 4- 1 & 3 cut, 2 & 4 tore.

Sorry Cha - I was trying to think of a nice way to phrase it but its just not possible is it? I am split on it being good because likely to make next labour easier (and my first was 9lb 10 oz) and the fact that I want everything in my body to be like it was before (who am I trying to kid?).

First labour resulted in ventouse and episiotomy, second was 1lb heavier and was much better - not so afraid of p**hing everywhere when than awful pressure sensation took over - no stitches - just a graze as his elbow was bent around his face. Home birth second time was fab too - great to know and trust the mw.

Bozza - know JUST what you mean. Felt that after first birth I should not have been given bunches of roses and carnations but instead a rather fetching little perrineal called 'trailing lobelia'.