Epiostomy experiences please

[FirstTimeMum8819]

I'm 12 months PP, had emergency foreceps delivery that resulted in 3B tear beyond epiostomy.

The epiostomy has removed some of my labia and I hate the way it looks now, my body is no longer symmetrical, and the discomfort that the exposed scar tissue causes affects everything from intimacy to which underwear I can wear, which I've been told can take up to 2 years to ease.

Has anyone else experienced a partial loss of their labia with an epiostomy?

I had an appointment this morning to discuss reparative surgery with a surgeon (after being told in Jan by another HCP that I was eligible and it looked like a repair was highly likely so they referred me) however the surgeon has told me that he wouldn't be able to improve things - reattaching the remaining labia would likely not heal as it would be attached to scar tissue and if it did happen to attach, the skin being stretched would cause more discomfort. It was at this point he explained that the person who performed the epiostomy has removed part of the labia sadly and the remaining part is now much more mobile than usual, causing discomfort.

I appreciate what the surgeon is saying, but can't help feeling extremely disappointed especially as I have spent the last year feeling miserable about it and the reparative surgery option was quite literally life changing for me.

I just wanted to know if this is a common thing? The cut has changed my body considerably, my confidence has been knocked, the discomfort affects my relationship and I feel miserable again. (I've been referred for counselling but not yet heard anything)

I wasn't informed of any of the risks prior to the procedure, because it was an emergency and I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, what you were able to do to improve things and whether it's worth me pursuing surgery or not?

TIA

[Spirallingdownwards]

Sorry to hear this happened to you. I had similar but did go through 3 reparative operations after but it still took a good 10 years plus to not feel the scarring. Even now from time to time I do feel it too (warmer weather). I wonder whether it might be worth getting a second opinion?

[FirstTimeMum8819]

Thank you, and I'm sorry to hear you have experienced similar and had 3 operations afterwards too. That's a lot to go through and a very long time to heal too. I have considered if a second opinion might be an option, whilst I respect the surgeons reasons for declining my surgery are based around his belief that it wouldn't be successful, it doesn't make the situation any easier for me to live with, right now at least, but I'm not sure how I would go about a second opinion. I'll ask around. Thank you.

[MrsTeepee]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had an episiotomy and 3b tear, definitely not 'fully back together' either but now at 22 months PP it is more comfortable. I'm maybe lucky that I prefer comfy pants these days, but have found prolapse symptoms cause me pain in various situations.

I agree with PP that you should get a second opinion.

I'm actually pregnant (and petrified of another bad tear so planning a c section) so have been doing perineal massage just in case things progress super quickly. I found it incredibly painful at first but it has improved, so that could help things on the relationship front of you can allow your scar tissue to hurt less if that's causing issues.

They really should better inform people of what an episiotomy can be like, they stupidly told me to give a big push after mine too, hence my tear!

[Bramblecrumble22]

For balance, not bragging, I had an episiotomy, then was told to push hard, and didn't need forceps. I didn't tear, midwife took her time to Stitch and it healed beautifully in a matter of weeks. I do agree that it should be more discussed as it was never mentioned in appointments or antenatal classes. My husband was more traumatised than me just by how barbaric the equipment looks.