Anyone else have 2 emergency Cesareans?

[kingfisher657]

And not just unplanned, but proper emergencies, category 1. With the second there wasn't even time for a spinal so straight to GA.

Both were rare complications, unrelated, no risk factors, no warning signs ahead of time. Just very sudden emergencies. As far as I can tell this is just doubly bad luck on my part. After all the messaging that birth is generally safe, true emergencies rarely happen, etc, I'm reeling a bit. After the first I was convinced that I wouldn't be that unlucky a second time, and then I was.

I know some people who have had 2 Cesareans but always at least one was planned. Don't know anyone else in the same boat as me but surely they must be out there. It's pretty lonely and I'm a bit in shock and also grieving the loss of a more normal birth experience which I'll now never have (not planning any more children).

2 emc here cat 2

I had 2 emcs as well 2nd with GA so your not alone. I felt a lot like you after my second as I had wanted the whole ' giving birth experience' whilst also feeling guilty that I had really wanted that as though it was my fault. Now 7 1/2 years later though so I don't really feel that way now.

Birth can be a shit show. I had a cat 2 c section due to preeclampsia at 34 weeks (we were both ok), then my second baby died due to preeclampsia at 20 weeks. It's not meant to happen so early and a second time but I bucked the trend. I'm grateful I'm ok and alive. Pregnant again and understandably terrified. Giving birth to me is always going to be an ordeal but I think a lot of this stuff on instagram circumstances giving birth when it's actually difficult for most people. You have 2 children and are still alive and that's the main thing.

Glamourises not circumstances!

Thank you, this is reassuring to hear I'm not alone. Absolutely no reason for you to have felt guilty, it's okay to want things to be different.

With GA did you struggle to bond? I barely felt any emotion when I woke up and met DD, probably because I was so drugged, but this is what I do feel guilty about. I didn't even cry when I met her, it felt like almost nothing.

I'm glad you feel better years down the line - did you do anything specific to heal or was it literally just time and distance from it all?

I'm so sorry for your loss, and thinking of you during this pregnancy, it must be so hard for you. I agree birth is probably some level of difficult for most people, but surely not this difficult?! For me it wasn't Instagram glamorising birth as much as family members (mostly from older generations when more people had vaginal births) and films/TV (which tend to erase Cesareans).

I think sometimes there is an inherent dismissal of the trauma surrounding emergencies in childbirth. The whole ‘baby and you are ok’ so crack on with it is a bit insidious in my opinion.

If you had a car crash that meant you were unexpectedly rushed into surgery, I feel like people would be more understanding.

Yes, childbirth can be a roll of the dice, and whilst we can’t really plan for it. There should be an acknowledgement of it, and care that supports recovery in both the physical and mental.

Yes 2 emergency

Also, you said you felt nothing when you met your daughter?

Breaking it down, your body was probably in a state of shock. Biologically and mentally, in such cases our brains basically numb us so we can get ourselves to safety. Emotions can be dealt with when you’re safe is the basic premise. You were doing something you were biologically primed to do in a state of emergency. Don’t feel back for that, flip it in that your body enabled you to traverse those moments to a point where you were able to process them.

I had 3 cs in total. First was an emergency although not the super urgent kind - had already been in labour for 1.5 days, baby was getting distressed, meconiom in amniotic fluid. Already had an epidural so went off to the theatre but reasonably calm.
Number 2, attempted a VBAC, slow going again. Suddenly midwife hit the red button, cord prolapse, literally wheeled into theatre by people running. Already had an epidural but apparently we didn't have the 5 minutes it would have taken to top it up. GA, caesarean.
Third one was planned (had given up hopes of a 'natural' birth) and a much calmer affair, just my luck that there were complications during it & I ended up pretty much bedbound for a week...!

• however, it's all a decade + ago now and honestly the trauma fades away. They do all love hearing their birth stories though, especially the middle one who nearly died

I’ve had three emcs, the first was failure to progress/failed ventouse/declined forceps. I had a GA as I had an incomplete epidural. I’d been labouring for a long time, so along with the ga, I was out of it for his first 24 hours. DS1 is 20 now, I really never think about it. Being my first, we were able to do lots of things like baby massage and I felt we were normally bonded.

The next two were emcs for placental abruption and then chorionic amniotic fluid (infection in the womb caused by unrecognised/unmonitored PROM) & placental abruption, so more emergency than the first. DS3 was a month early and spent a week in special care. I can relate to the feeling of believing that I couldn't be unlucky twice.

I did let myself feel sad that birth hadn’t been how I had hoped. We are complex beings capable of more than one feeling at a time. Be gentle with yourselves.

I completely agree, and see a lot of this on Mumsnet - if someone posts they are traumatised by some other event the response is (rightly) "you poor thing, be gentle to yourself, you should consider therapy" but as soon as the cause is birth there is quite a lot of "you're both alive and that's all that matters, pull yourself together"

Thank you so much, I'd never thought about it this way but it helps so much. I did feel pretty emotionally numb until the hysterical crying started about 12 hours later.

Thank you. I do wonder what my kids will think about it when they're old enough to understand. Can definitely see how a near-death experience at their birth could give them some status on the playground! Surely they won't feel awful about it the way I do.

Thank you. My second was placental abruption too - I don't know anyone else who's had this.

I had two. First was cat 1, second was cat 2.

It took me years to get over it but I feel very at peace with it now.

I’ve had two EMCS. First for failure to progress (love that term), second due to slow progress and resulting of rupture (turns out that baby was breech and everyone missed it).

I found recovering from the first was worse than the second, as if genuinely been in labour for four days before my first was delivered, and had barely slept. With the second, I was only in labour for 20 hours so only one night with virtually no sleep.

I've had two, one was a proper emergency with GA, the other was classed as urgent ( DS3 got stick right at the end of labour) but not an emergency and I had an epidural, that was was a much less scary and was my favourite or of my the births ( second was a VBAC with forceps).

Honestly @kingfisher657 I've come to terms with the fact I'm clearly just not designed to give birth naturally 😜 I did the whole NCT, write a lovely natural birth plan etc and it just all went out of the window.
Looking at the pros now, namely my nether regions unharmed ...! my DC really don't care how they ended up being born (like I said, to them it's more exciting). The only stick I get is from my youngest for not having chosen the right date for his birthday! He really wanted to be born during school holidays which naturally I should have know beforehand 😂 and set the date accordingly. Oh well!
Hope that you can look back at some point in the future and see that it really doesn't matter all that much; traumatic and upsetting as it is at the moment.

2 and very ill with both. Had eclampsia for both.

First I was under very close monitoring but dived very very fast. Emergency c section and in hospital for a week in ICU with baby even though I was at 39 weeks. Heart stopped during emergency c section and was restarted. Had problems with platelets, liver and kidneys.

Second child a number of years later. Booked in for a c section early due to birth 1 delivery planned for week 37. Emergency admittance to maternity hospital following a huge migraine type fit at 36 weeks. Baby delivered. 3 days in ICU and then fine.

Didn’t affect my bond with either.

DC1 used to brag I was so strong I nearly killed my mum when she was 2/3 years old.

I did go through personal trauma shortly after both of their births and spent far too much time, unable to sleep, relax etc and wish I could go back and just say:

wow you were bloody awesome and have you have two fab kids stop worrying about breast feeding etc

Total of 3 c sections. 1st cat 2, 2nd was an all out cat 1. After that my 3rd was meant to be an electric c sec as I had had 2 others, but he was prem, so became another cat 2 c section. But not 2 category 1's.