Friend just had csection (and lovely baby boy [smile] advice please.

[bb99]

Friend had section Wednesday - not bugging her in hospital as tired (long long labour) and lots of family doing the bugging

Never had c-section so what would be helpful things to get / do for her and DP?

(I know they're both VERY capable, but having a small baby is quite tiring etc etc...

What were the best pain relieving / comforting / practical things any of you found?

TIA

Food and/or shopping for them, it was the nicest/most helpful thing anyone did for us

Yes, make some food for the freezer and take it round. My mum and mil did this and it was so much appreciated.

making them a couple of nights food for freezer, offering to drive her anywhere as well as I found that really restricting.

Definitely food for freezer or shopping for them. Include an indulgence or two - lovely rich hand cream would go down well with me. All that suddens washing of hands every ten minutes dries the skin out.

Other than that, maybe offer to go round and sit with the baby for an hour so they can both have a nap.

Your friend is lucky to have you.

be ready in the next couple of weeks(especially when her dh paternity leave is over) to drive her (if she needs to go out)as she really shouldn't push herself to drive too soon
definetly the meals idea

what a nice friend you are!!

Oh, and just being there for her, making her a cuppa and holding the baby so that she has time to drink it all, etc.

Offering to drive is good as obviously she cant drive for about 6 weeks. Offering practical help when dp goes back to work after 2 weeks, she will still be sore and have difficulty lifting some thing. If she is intending to bf a bf cushion is good so the baby doesnt put pressure on her scar

Definitely the driving - my dh doesn't drive and obviously I couldn't after my section. Once parents and ILs had left, I got real cabin fever as couldn't get out of the village for 3 weeks.
Oh, and if she's an freak for ironed clothes (like me ), offer to do her ironing as that's actually quite difficult. My dh isn't very good at it and also didn't really understand why I was bothered that the sheets weren't ironed.

It's v.selfish really..I get soooo excited when people have babies, and it's her first, and she never thought she'd catch one so I'm just stupidly excited for her and her DP. IT'S WONDERFUL - am probably looking for excuses to visit

Also still have vivid memories of the early sleepless days

Drivings a good tip - hadn't thought of that one at all.

I've just had cs (lovely baby boy too!) and the best help has been with driving and picking up/dropping off dd. I'd have loved someone to hoover/sweep/mop my floors and do my ironing as they are things I just can't manage! As for presents, lovely indulgent food is wonderful! Also, stretchy non-maternity clothes make me feek more like normal without cutting off my circulation

Offer to vacuum when you go round, so that she doesn't feel she has to do it before MIL arrives to see baby!

*also applies to washing up, laundry, etc- anything that MILs poke their noses into!

wow- x-post Haylstones

Definately offer to shop/cook or bring round some snacks/mags. When I was preggers and in the middle of moving house, I had a quiet cry to myself when someone invited us around for tea . Such a relief to get any support no matter how small. She might appreciate you holding the baby whilst she goes and has a bath. On the other hand she might be grateful if you could do some housework while she concentrates on baby (I was v.possessive!). Ask her which she would prefer. You sound like a lovely friend.

Good ideas already.

I agree, cook her dinner every night if you live near enough, if not cook a few batches and put them in her freezer.

Offer your services as a chauffeur because she won't be able to drive for a wee while.

I think these are the two best things you can do for her.

The only other thing i found tricky was cleaning the bath but otherwise everyone elses suggestions of ironing, cooking and driving sound good.

Second (third and fourth) the driving, cooking etc.
One she may not instantly thank you for (don't know how close you are) HUGE pants. Like up to your nipples ones in 2/3 sizes bigger than normal. Pants etc really rub on your scar so the bigger the better. You may have to give them armed with a smile and explanation .
Get some lavender oil from health shop too. A couple of drops in the bath really helps with healing and relaxs mum (and baby when they snuggle up).
My friend came over and stayed a few days after I had my C-section. She cooked and ironed. I tried to argue, but she went ahead anyway. Boy was I grateful though.

Ooooh, yes, forgot about the granny knickers . I was very thankful for mine afterwards.

Beauty treatment voucher and the offer to look after baby for the hour.

Proper encouragement to take it easy. It's all too easy to want to get going and push yourself too soon (I did!), which sets your recovery back once you stop taking industrial pain relief. Help with all the 'bendy' tasks - dishwasher un/loading; ditto washing machine; bins etc. If you do take her shopping (I can totally relate to the cabin fever comment), keep it short, unbelievable how physically tired you are in first 4 weeks without necessarily realising. I ended up in tears in the car park of an out-of-town shopping centre!

I agree with what KMUN said. I really and truly thought I was fine. Happy hormones at having a perfect baby + mega pain killers. So I went shopping with DH and baby for 2 hours!!! He didn't know any better. I split my stitches and got an infection. Was awful. If I did it all over again I would sit down and stay put for a good couple of weeks. (God knows I haven't sat down 2.5 years later!!)

Thank you all for the advie - will try to apply as much as possible.

Not sure about the granny knickers tho as she may just think it's sour grapes as despite being my senior she definitely has (had?) a more modelesque figure than me, even WHILE pg

that one was definitely a judgement call