Practical advice for giving birth alone

[LittleRobins]

My husband needs to stay with DS when I go into hospital to have our second baby. Does anyone have any practical advice for me giving birth alone?

I have most stuff in a small case on wheels and the rest in a rucksack so I should be able to get them in during labour. I’ve got a water bottle with a sports cap to have with me. Is there anything else I could take to help me during labour?

You poor darling. I really feel for you not being able to have your husband with you. Is there really no one that could look after your little one? Anyway, whereabouts do you live? Could you get a baby sitter/child minder. If I lived near I’d do it for you at the drop of a hat. I’m a Registered Nurse and DBS Checked.
sending hugs
x x x x x x x x

I have a one week old and I was in hospital for 5 nights in the end. I took various stuff but these are the things I actually used:

• headphones (for listening to relaxations)
• Frida mom pants (so comfortable post labour)
• comfortable shoes, like Crocs or Birkenstocks (I took flip flops which really hurt my feet. You want shoes you can wear with socks but that are vaguely waterproof and easy to slip on/off)
• a button down nightdress
• an extra pillow (the hospital will provide one but two was good!)
• snacks
• toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, hairbrush, face wash)
• nipple balm/pads
• baby clothes
• water bottle (which you've got)
• comfortable clothes for you
• extra long phone charger

I also took my dressing gown but it was so hot in hospital that I didn't use it.

Wishing you the very best of luck ♥️

My husband was useless during labour anyway. I hired a doula to keep me company / fetch stuff, could that be an option? She was fab for coaching my breathing.

Things I wanted at hospital that I didn’t have…

• Food!! Labour makes you so hungry and sugary drinks in particular can speed up labour. Shove some cereal bars and sugary sweets in your bag.
• However much water you’re taking, triple it.
• Body wash!! Hospital had none!
• Slippers
• dressing gown
• flipflops for shower
• earplugs and eyemask, just in case they ask you to stay overnight
• Incontinence disposable pants. The hospital will have pads, but pants are so much more comfy.
• Foooooood!! And if after the baby has arrived, the staff say you shouldn’t eat, well I chose to ignore that. That tradition is just in case you suddenly need emergency surgery with a general anaesthetic as they worry you might choke. But that is incredibly unlikely (and even if you did vomit during surgery they would sort you out anyway). Women need high energy food after labour to establish breastfeeding and get off to a good recovery. The medical profession just don’t get that.

I also took a rechargeable portable fan as I found hospital roasting!

Write down detailed birth planand print in several coppies.
Don't do it like some sort of inspirational post but as a legal document.
Cover everything: from normal birth to exeminations, skin to skin, pain relief, third stage, what to do in case of csection, and how you stand on any treatment around baby.
You will not have anyone to advocate for you and pushing your birthplan in a face of every medical person who comes in contact with you will at least ensure they know where you stand.

Get sports bottle that got some dent in the middle so you can tie it to your bed. It will keep falling.

Get slip on slippers as you will struggle pulling on.

Get extra long charger for your bed.

If you lreviously struggled with breastfeeding or don't want to, get ready made baby food packed with sterile tits. Some hospitals won't offer baby food and will push with breastfeedung even if child is screaming hungry and you ask for it.

Learn while you are in early stage where is a call button and use it if you need something. Hospital staff have a job of attending birthing women,you are not bothering them in their spare time.

If you want epidural ask early as you won't have anyonw to chase them around corridors and ask for it.

Give no shit but also take no shit.
You can decline anything.

Good luck!

It’s difficult because everyone is so different! I wouldn’t have wanted an extra pillow or a bottle with a sports cap. I bought button down nighties because everyone said to take those, HATED them with a passion. After giving birth I just wanted my maternity leggings/ yoga pants and a t shirt. I felt more “secure” with leggings holding everything tightly. That might be weird though? Lots of people seem to like button down nighties.

definitely second the food thing!!!! I was sick quite a lot in Labour and then when I was finally able to eat had to wait ages for the food to come round. Wish I’d brought more snacks.

water wipes, for cleaning you as well as baby!

Headphones yes, and some playlists to distract you

long charger is a great idea

all the best OP, I actually quite liked labouring on my own x

Second the food. I was so hungry in my first labour as I was nill by mouth, in case i needed a cesarian and I think it slowed my labour. I thought that was bad enough but the midwives did give me toast straight after birth. I didn't know some hospitals tell you not to eat. It's not universal.

Maybe also print out a birth plan and birth preferences really clearly.

Can you discuss the birth with your midwife, so they're aware that you will not have a birth partner with you during labour and in postnatal? As many postnatal wards tend to be understaffed and assume that you'll have a partner with you to help you with things like pain relief, postoperative care (if you've had a CS), and general support. If you're on the ward on your own you'll need the midwives on duty to know that so they don't assume there's someone looking out for you!

My DH stayed home with our 1st child during my labour of our 2nd. It was fine. I think the only downside was I had to have a midwife with me the whole time (about 12 hours as I was induced) whereas if DH had been there they'd have left us alone for a bit. I find social interaction exhausting at the best of times so doing awkward chit chat during contractions for so many hours made it a lot more uncomfortable. Whereas with my first even towards the end when we did have a midwife with us at least DH could do the talking while I concentrated on the pain. I found it better than having DH there though and the staff were lovely even if they did ask me if I was sure DH wasn't coming every 10 minutes.

Take food, water, charger, headphones ... to be honest my ex was useless when I was in labour, can a friend come to keep you company and maybe leave before it gets too intimate (if that concerns you)

I was in this position so I had a community midwife who came to my house when I started labour then met me at the hospital when it was time to go in.
See if they have similar in your area as it did really help.

I had to give birth alone when my husband was working overseas . Make good friends with your midwife she? will really support you . Try not to go to early as you will just spend time thinking you are alone , but again don't leave it too late ! . You can really really do this women are strong 💪🏻 you will do the job that needs to be done .

Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Unfortunately I do have to be by myself and there’s no other option. At the moment I think I’ll be strong but we’ll see how I feel when the contractions kick in!

So for a birth with no birthing partner there’s nothing else really different I need to take? I’m hoping someone will be free to take photos soon after the birth for me but I’m not sure how likely that is!

My midwife offered to take photos even though my husband was there (of all three). Just ask. 😊

Op I know for me second time round giving birth I was much more confident in my body as I'd done it all before. I kinda got in the zone more and tbh my partner felt a bit of a spare part second time round as I felt I knew what to do myself. You might surprise yourself good luck 😁

When I gave birth during covid one of the midwives said they actually love it when a partner can't attend because they can really step into the supporting role- so fingers crossed you get a lovely one 😍- also remember you can also always ask to change midwives if you don't gel. 💖

Another water bottle and more snacks.

A plan for if you have to stay in longer than planned.

Can your dh visit you?

More clothes / supplies packed and labelled to be brought in so he isn't looking for things at home.