VBAC vs Elective - traumatic delivery

[jodesxx]

I am 24 weeks and starting to discuss delivery at the moment.

My first was born early June 2022. Had an emergency c-section and an absolute awful experience in lead up with failed induction. Induced as IVF, gestational diabetes but diet controlled and 97th percentile baby. 6 days of induction which included pessaries then breaking waters and going on drip. Got to 4cm but progressed no more and I was showing signs of infection, constant low blood sugar and just exhausted.

In the lead up, I was in agony with each examination. Even gas and air didn't help and I was screaming during each examination and then would be violently shaking afterwards. Debrief suggested that a combination of thrush and probably a reaction to one of the pessaries caused the amount of pain I was in. The pain from the examinations haunts me even now but did manage another ivf transfer and early TV scans.

Mistakes were also made - cannulated wrong so drop was going in wrong place for six hours. Had been saying it didn't feel right but nobody checked.

In the lead up I was scared by doctors about having a section due to previous abdominal surgery so had been terrified about having one.

It was just an awful experience and I'm so scared of a repeat happening. I won't be induced so it's either VBAC or elective section. Probably won't go past 40 weeks due to ivf either.

I've got GD test in a few weeks, baby is measuring on dates at the moment but my blood pressure is on the high side.

A part of me wants to try a VBAC but I'm also just terrified, especially with examinations.

My BMI is probably too high for water birth as well.

I'm not being pushed either way - they have said it is down to what I want to decide and they will support me.

Not sure if we will have a third. Always wanted to but pregnancies haven't been the easiest and thr cost of IVF comes into it as no chance of conceiving naturally. So would like to leave that option open.

Has anyone been in similar situation and what did uou decide?

I'm so sorry to hear about your previous experience, while I don't have anything to compare to yours I can offer my experience.
I have had 2 planned c-sections with an appendix removal in between so also had scaring.
Both planned sections were calm and pain well controlled with as much painkillers as I needed

I went with the VBAC. They did everything and anything to try and get me to have a repeat CS as they're very risk averse in Ireland but I'm really glad I went with my gut as I was crawling around soft play with my oldest 2 weeks later.

My epidural didn't work so it was gas and air. A VBAC is more intense at the time and in the day or two afterwards, but while the operation was painless, the 12 weeks of recovery for the CS nearly did me in, it was horrific and I'd never have one again.

Like you, I also refused an induction the second time around. They tried to book me into a CS as I went over my due date (which you only have something like a 20% chance of going into labour before) but I refused over and over and I got to 40+5 with increased monitoring and went into labour naturally. However, my birth was back to back so took 19 hours and they put me on the drip to get my cervix to dilate as DD wasn't pressing on it with contractions due to her positioning. I had a quite deep episiotomy which was very sore for a couple of days but I stopped feeling it completely after about 6 weeks. By comparison, I still get pain in my CS scar and that CS was 4 years ago.

I'm not saying VBAC is necessarily right for you but that's my experience. I'd recommend you research everything you can around both types of birth and see which sits with you better (medical reasons aside; I'm assuming here there are no medical reasons for a CS). If you have any trouble getting the birth you feel is right for you, speak to Birthrights, I cannot recommend them enough.

Good luck!

I'm sorry you had such a rough time with your first labour.

I haven't had a similar experience but just wanted to say that you do not have to consent to any internal vaginal examinations if you don't want them. They are not a compulsory or necessary part of birth, and if you (understandably) are dreading them then you will tense up due to that anxiety, which is the opposite of what your body needs to do in labour.

I would be very clear in your birth plan and when you get to hospital that you do not want any vaginal exams unless there is an emergency-type need for one, and then you would like gas and air. That clarity will hopefully enable you to relax and focus more on your physiological birth (if that is what you choose to go for).