Childcare during labour

[RhubarbRhubarb23]

I'm 37 weeks pg and am fairly new to the city I live in - am starting to build a network / community but don't necessarily have any strong bonds yet. A few people have offered to look after my ds when I'm in labour but I'm really scared these offers won't actually come to anything. I'm a little burnt as a very dear friend who lives in the next local city who insisted I get in touch with her when I go into labour so she could look after my son has just backed out as she doesn't think she can make it work with her own family commitments etc. I was really upset by this as she did insist initially and made me feel like I could rely on her.

I don't really know how to work out whether people are saying they'll help out because it's a nice thing to say or if they really mean it and worry if I actually follow up on the offers of help i'll really annoy those people and / or not actually get the childcare I need. My very good friend backing out has made me feel that if she won't do it then why would my new friends commit to something like this?

I'm pretty scared I'll have to give birth on my own and my dh will have to look after our son. Family isn't an option as they live far away and couldn't manage looking after ds even if they were here.

My ds' babysitter also seems to be less interested than she was when I initially asked her - she's being very evasive about dates and stuff. I understand it's a big ask for people. But argh! It's really stressing me out. What do I do? Shall I just come to terms with the fact I need to give birth by myself? A home birth isn't really an option for me because of medical reasons.

I'm having this same issue.
I've compiled a list of potential people including our babysitter. When it comes down to it am just going to work my way thru calling everyone on the list to see who's available at the time.
Unfortunately it's not a long list lol
We have no family help whatsoever and most long term friends live hours away.
So it's basically a few school gate mums who expressed an interest and the babysitter.
I know there's a chance I might have to give birth without dh there in the end.
I'm planning a homebirth so hopefully not but anything could happen and I might end up in hospital in which case I just really hope someone off the list comes thru for us!

DH and I are foreign and have no family around. We had a friend lined up for it. My back up was to have DH looking after DC1 if timing was bad. In the end, it was day time, and it happened so fast DC2 was born before friend got to the hospital. The birth unit was also quiet so a midwife stayed with DC1.

Be prepared that you might have to give birth alone. And maybe one of these new friends may mean it. You don’t know how it will turn out.

Get a doula for the birth and have DH at home.

We had childcare set up for second birth (my mum) and I still ended up going it alone. Wonderful team of midwives, but my husband wasn't allowed stay the night in the hospital and he didn't get back in time for the birth. It was still one of the most positive and empowering experiences I've ever had. If your husband is needed at home, you can still have an excellent birth - perhaps look into doulas in your new area.

I had a similar situation. I got lucky and gave birth during the day so my older child spent a few hours at a friend's house. If it had happened at night then I'd have had to go alone. All you can do is collect as many phone numbers as possible and hope for the best timing wise. Or hire a doula.