How much of the birth experience is down to luck?

[Mamaof1DD]

I felt I prepared really well for the birth of DD, I was always my bouncing on my ball, practised breathing techniques etc…PROM, EMCS, severe PPH and sepsis.

The thread about high c section rates got me thinking: how much of birth is just sheer luck? Was I exceptionally unlucky? Are some women luckier than others? Can it be controlled?

I know there’s no real answer, just interested in what people think!

Luck I think.
But a healthy woman will probably recover quicker and regain full fitness within a few months. Women who weren't fit and healthy pre-pregancy have an uphill battle.

Genetics may help, a little (in terms of a family tendency to go into labour naturally, or labour quickly - my DGM, DM, DSis & I were all fortunate in that).

But, yes, overall it's luck - baby's position & size as well as the myriad scenarios that can present during delivery, without warning.

My DBro is an obs/gynae consultant. He always remarks on the speed at which events can change, and how serious they can be - obviously he sees disproportionate levels of serious cases, being called in emergencies as a consultant. But his stories make me so grateful that 2 of my 3 deliveries were textbook & needed no Intervention; the other required an emergency section due to breech presentation but was otherwise also straightforward. It's down to luck.

Luck plays a huge part. Sometimes I think the language of "choices" and birth plans can make it seem as though things are more in the mother's control than they really are, especially when it comes to the crunchy natural birth crowd. No-one "chooses" forceps and stitches! I had natural births following medically advised inductions, I could have "chosen" to wait and see what happened naturally but that could have resulted in stillbirth.

I don't envy any woman who has a section wound and a newborn to deal with. How anyone can call that easy is beyond me

I know it's not the same for everyone but my section recovery was my easiest. I think because I'd a very easy baby (my 2nd) and in Ireland you stay in for 5 days post-section. I was well-rested & b/f established by the time I came home.

I also had expected the section as my baby was breech (tho in the end I went into labour early so it was a section at 10 cm) & the amount of women who told me horror stories about stomach muscles never recovering, having an overhang etc was incredible. All nonsense. Again, not sure if they somehow suck stuff out (😀) when doing the section but I was fine afterwards, stomach in better shape than post VD, and scar hardly noticeable.

100% Luck in terms of having the right body + the right baby.

I was a hypnobirthing, yoga going, going to give birth in a water bath under the stars the sound of whale song (well ok... a birthing centre) and DS first had too much water for the birthing centre arrangement, and then on the day got stuck in my pelvis & I had an EMCS.

Obviously gave myself massive grief that I'd 'failed' after visualising I was going to breathe him out for 9 months.

I was such a naive nob head. Had an elective second time, it was AMAZING.

Probably not ‘luck’ as such but certainly effected by things that can’t exactly be controlled - things like individual genetics and anatomy of mothers reproductive system and body, size and position of baby, placenta etc.

@Agustus

Well said.

A friend of mine was hugely into hypnobirthing. Absolutely determined to have a natural birth.

She was put on a drip as labour not progessing. She was in huge levels of pain, contractions basically continuous, but still not dilating. She had 12 more hours of these before she delivered, with assistance.

They did everything they could to persuade her to get an epidural; she was steadfast in saying no.

She, poor thing, was utterly traumatised after it. I'll never forget speaking to her the day after.

A day or two after that she had a complete breakdown, and developed severe PND, but it was really a trauma response. She had a horrific first year, several hospitalisations but all was well in the end.

No-one can know exactly what precipitated what, but by her own account she was so committed to a natural delivery, she couldn't accept any deviation. The hypo birthing didn't help, it pushed her into a rigid way of thinking.

I think trusting those caring for you (and hoping they are good, patient-centred practitioners) is the best way.

I had a lottery win twice, x2 vaginal deliveries with no assistance. First induced, minimal tearing. Second spontaneous, no tears.

I have nothing to compare it to, but my second baby I found it much harder to bond and we had feeding issues, despite the dream birth, which led to a bit of postnatal depression. I was shocked as I wasn't really expecting it, having had the delivery I'd had and a perfect healthy baby. Which led to more guilt etc.

So I think re bonding and breastfeeding delivery doesn't always matter.

Luck in my opinion! I had such a smooth pregnancy, felt like I’d done my research, went into labour naturally, got to 8cm and thought I’d have my baby within the hour and home by teatime (the naivety🤣).. I laboured for another 12 hours and didn’t get further than 8cm so I had forceps in theatre, originally prepped for a c section. I don’t think there’s anything I could’ve done/not done to change this 🤷🏻‍♀️ although I might be wrong x

98%

100%

I would agree, absolutely down to luck, not something you can plan for, the biggest waste of time for me was writing a birth plan! Thankfully, both of my labours were pleasant experiences. I was fortunate to have natural births. But definitely down to luck. I wouldn’t say I have a particularly high pain threshold.