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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Homebirth! Talk to me about the pain..

25 replies

Fivepigeons · 06/12/2023 03:49

How long exactly did it go on? What exactly did it feel like? Were there any points you felt you couldn't cope and what did you do?
I'm 7mnths with my 3rd baby.
Low risk.
Had two hospital inductions previously but have opted for homebirth this time.
Had epidural with first as it was the hormone drip... horrific and traumatic.
Attempted epidural with second but it didn't work as the baby was crowning at that point and we hadn't realised s I went from 3cm to fully dilated very fast

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Libmama · 06/12/2023 03:58

I had a planned homebirth with baby 3, 11 months ago.
it was much nicer being at home, to begin with for the first stage I laboured in the living room bouncing on my ball whilst watching tv. When I felt the pain was getting stronger and contractions closer together I rang labour ward and two midwives were dispatched.
It slowed down when they arrived but soon got going again. When I felt the pain was getting really bad I went in the pool. This also slowed them down for a little while.
I started involuntarily pushing and all was fine to begin with. Then the midwives realised she had her shoulder stuck. They made comments about me having to get out of the pool to which I was absolutely not getting out. I switched positions and it seemed to loosen her. The next few pushes were excruciating. I felt myself tear as she came out. Which at 8lb 13 wasn’t a surprise! She had a big head too! Got my golden hour feeding and cuddling while we waited for the placenta and had a cup of tea!

Would recommend home birth time and again though. It was so nice to go and have a shower and get into my own bed afterwards to snuggle baby.

Good luck!!

Libmama · 06/12/2023 03:59

Oh and baby 1 was 3 and a half hours active labour, baby 2 was 19 minutes active labour. Baby 3 was also 3 and a half hours but I think she’d have been much quicker if she hadn’t been stuck.

Fivepigeons · 06/12/2023 04:04

Thankyou! That's very positive
My first baby was 10lbs.... so I can only hope he stretched me so much I won't tear! (I know it doesn't really work like that...)

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Sickoffamilydrama · 06/12/2023 04:35

I've had 3 fairly quick labours and never had pain relief with any of mine, I didn't really need it and I don't really like the floaty out of control feeling of drugs.

I like to be able to pace up down and generally keep moving.
Did use a tens machine and then once I get to a a certain level were I can't really keep on my feet ( I've always had this strong urge to kneel/ go on all fours) so probably close to pushing I go in the pool.

I went in the pool with all of mine which the relaxation of the pool then always seems to jump me forward in dilation so I'm usually actively pushing 5 mins after getting in.

I did home birth with number 3 seven and a bit years ago, my labours seem to ramp up quickly from oh I think this might be it to very active quickly, with number 1 & 2 I had midwives say oh you'll be a while yet then boom I'm pushing.

I was encouraged to not come in with no 2 glad I did as I would have been at the side of the road

No 1, was about three hours active labour. Kept encouraging me to go home, by the time they took me down to the labour rooms I was pushing as we walked down the corridor.

No 2, was an hour maybe hour half, half an hour of which I was travelling to the hospital, then probably 20/30 mins before I was admitted.

No 3, was very quick I had a lot of very strong Braxton Hicks for weeks, that were often regularly spaced out and went on for hours, by time I realised it was labour it was less than an hour maybe 45 mins.

Had him in the pool, had to call paramedics as started pushing before the midwife arrived she only made it for the final push.

Still made the paramedics day they had never seen labour and they cried.

Was so great to be at home I'm always wired afterwards and can never rest when in hospital but I managed to at home.

Plus I potentially wouldn't have made it to the hospital in time as I really wasn't sure I was in active labour until I really really was if that makes sense. I'd had quite a few false starts for weeks with the Braxton Hicks.

PinkPlantCase · 06/12/2023 04:48

I’ve had both my Dc at home without any pain relief.

With my first transition was hard but it’s all such a mental thing, I knew pain relief wasn’t available. I knew I did not want to go to hospital and I also knew this was something I just had to do and would have to do wherever I gave birth. I was in the pool for the pushing stage which I didn’t find painful, the pool was amazing! I had a tear but didn’t feel it happen.

Second time around I was able to breathe through and talk between contractions right until she came out. I didn’t really have a pushing stage, her head just came out and her body in the next contraction.

Fivepigeons · 06/12/2023 04:53

Thanks guys this is all really helpful.
I think my hospital births have made me frightened I can't deal with the pain.. but I guess a lot of it was fear too.. and expecting there might be something they could do

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crimsonleaves · 06/12/2023 05:00

Baby was sunny side up so I was very achy and paced around during my long slow labor after my waters broke. The last 12 hours were very intense, I moved between all fours on my bed, pacing around, sitting on the toilet and then the last few hours in a birthing pool. The last bit I wanted to go to the hospital as the pain in my spine was excruciating. Pushing was under 20 minutes as I'd just bloody had enough at that point after 3 days. It took over an hour for the placenta, which was eventually removed on my couch (that was one of the worst bits). I'm emetophobic and took no pain relief.

I'm hoping to have another home birth as I felt safe and calm at home because I have medical trauma. I had a midwife for the final few hours for me, and another for the last hour or so for the baby. I got into bed after and enjoyed the peace and quiet alone with a cup of tea.

Sickoffamilydrama · 06/12/2023 05:01

Yes fear is probably the worst thing with labour and pain it will only make it worse, it's priming your nervous system to fight or flight.

Relaxation techniques and a dark cosy room might help you.

I didn't realise it until afterwards but because I kind of trusted I would be fine and my body knew what to do even when we didn't have anyone with us and I was pushing I wasn't frightened.

TheProvincialLady · 06/12/2023 05:25

I had a terrible traumatic birth in hospital for DC1. Lasted a long time and was very painful. I had DC2 at home after doing hypnbirthing and the experiences could not have been more different. It was hard work but not painful except for crowning (I tore) and was pretty quick. The birth pool helped a huge amount.

Fivepigeons · 08/12/2023 00:26

@TheProvincialLady it's funny because I did not even feel the crowning at all.. it was the transition phase I found hardest and was screaming and asking the midwives to kill me... I do think that was fear as well tho as I had no idea how long that was going to go on for..
Whereas the crowning I was filled with adrenaline and focus and just relief that I knew this was the end part.. the crowning didn't even register

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lilyfire · 08/12/2023 01:19

I had numbers 2 and 3 at home and they were both nearly 10lb babies. The pain for number three was getting a bit miserable and then the midwife arrived with the gas and air and after that it was totally manageable and I did another three hours or so before the baby was born and it was really fine. Was by far my easiest birth.

Fivepigeons · 08/12/2023 02:12

@lilyfire thankyou! How did it compare to hospital? I worry because I was so out of control in hospital regarding the pain.. I really did ask the midwives to kill me.. I'm worried ill behave like that again. Does being in a relaxed environment really make a big difference in how well you cope?

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Crimsonbow · 08/12/2023 02:21

DC1 was born in an MLU, in the pool with no pain relief (brilliant midwife, I'd asked not to be asked about pain relief and then I just forgot about it). Sounds twee but music, massage, dim lighting and support from DH were all I needed. It was hard but I never doubted myself.

DC2 was born at home. Labour was slow (like with DC1) with irregular contractions for 20 hours. Midwives weren't there because it was so irregular but were on the phone. One suggested I have a lie down. Did that and then woke up pushing. Again, never doubted myself and I was my own midwife this time! They arrived for the stitching after which was stingy but so much easier than after DC1 because I was in my own environment, even though this time I was stitched without pain relief.

If you can find a home birth team of midwives I'd recommend them.

Fivepigeons · 08/12/2023 02:37

@Crimsonbow I'm using the local NHS homebirth team. There's lots of homebirths round here. They are apparently a good team. They are sending someone to my home next week. So far it's been really positive and I'm feeling happy with the level of support.
My only worry is how badly I coped with the pain in hospital... I have every confidence in the homebirth midwives here to delivery my baby safely.. I'm just worried ill be an embarrassing mess and wuss out and make them ring an ambulance to take me for more pain relief!

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Thankyouthankyoujellybean · 10/12/2023 07:52

I think you'll be absolutely fine, OP, honestly. I had two drip-based inductions. The first was dreadful - understaffed unit, they ramped the drip up almost instantly, I truly hoped that either I or the baby would die so it would be over. Had the epidural and we lived to tell the tale... just.

The second birth was in a different hospital, different country, different world. They were slow, careful and caring. The room looked much more comfortable and cosy than the harsh delivery room I had been in before. I had gas and air and a couple of times was asked to stop for various reasons so experienced drip contractions on their own. To my total shock, I could cope with them.

This is a long way of saying that a relaxing environment, proper care and experience of something unbearably dreadful can go a long way! I kept comparing how I felt to the first horrific time and thought 'well if it's not that bad yet I can cope with this'. The last two contractions were the only point I started to consider an epidural, and 20 mins later it was all over.

Plumful · 10/12/2023 07:57

Do hypnobirthing and get a maternity tens machine for pain relief at the early stages

Getoutgetout · 10/12/2023 08:03

i had DC1 in hospital- classic horrendous hospital birth. Epidural, ventouse etc PPH

had dc2 at home (had to see head midwife in charge of birth chooses to agree due to my previous birth)

home birth - did hypnotherapy (online positive birth company - amazing), had a pool, tens machine. No other pain relief. It was brilliant. I remember the crowning bit being a but ouchy but the pool helped and it was quick. I had a slight tear but didn’t need any stitching.

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 10/12/2023 08:06

I had a normal reasonable quick (6 hours start to finish) with my first with gas and air and pethidine for pain relief so had a home birth for my 2nd as I have a phobia of hospitals. I loved my home birth, I felt so much more in control, I used paracetamol and gas and air and she was born after a 1 hour 42 minute labour start to finish (my waters had broken that morning). I was blue lighted in with a PPH but nothing would make me regret my home birth, and it actually helped with my phobia of hospital as I felt more empowered when I was in there. (my PPH was caused by a piece of retained placenta and also a torn cervix from previous cervical cancer treatment so couldn't have been predicted).

Good luck with your home birth you will love it, and if the pain gets too much you can always be transferred in to hospital so don't worry about it.

Notellinganyone · 10/12/2023 08:10

3 home births here. First two were 12 hours of active, painful labour. Managed with just pool and hogans and air. Number three was faster, 5 hours. Definitely recommend.

TheScientists · 10/12/2023 08:19

So I'm not it the "oh it's a blissful wonderful experience I loved it" camp (though I have so much time for women that are!) I'm more in the it's a means to an end (gorgeous baby!) and it's going to be painful, bloody, and bloody painful at different times wherever you given birth

But I had hospital birth for DC1 and home birth for DC2 and the home birth was very doable in terms of pain. I had a pool and watched TV in it for a lot of it and that was just enough distraction for it to be bearable through labour. Delivery felt like being sawn in half but it was brief and it was so good to get in my own bed (with fish and chips) after!

90yomakeuproom · 10/12/2023 08:21

I had planned a home birth with my 1st but ended up in hospital. This was for various reasons and was my choice.
To begin with, my waters broke 24 hours before any contractions started which already increased infection risk. When contractions did start I got into the birthing pool at home and my midwife arrived. After around 24 hours of painful contractions in the pool my midwife said the pool had to be emptied and refilled. I continued to labour in my house but was not progressing at all. The midwife told me I was having a back to back labour which generally takes longer and the pain in my back was unreal. I was beginning to get exhausted and chose to transfer to hospital. My husband drove me and it wasn't traumatic at all. After another 24 hours my baby was born and we were both treated for sepsis due to really high temperatures. After around 3 days we came home. I would still opt for a home birth again as that experience was lovely. I feel like I got the best of both worlds.

Fivepigeons · 10/12/2023 17:00

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences! I'm feeling quite positive about going ahead with my homebirth. I have a pool and a tens machine.
I do agree its hard anywhere so better be in your own space.

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kc92 · 29/07/2024 20:13

Fivepigeons · 08/12/2023 02:37

@Crimsonbow I'm using the local NHS homebirth team. There's lots of homebirths round here. They are apparently a good team. They are sending someone to my home next week. So far it's been really positive and I'm feeling happy with the level of support.
My only worry is how badly I coped with the pain in hospital... I have every confidence in the homebirth midwives here to delivery my baby safely.. I'm just worried ill be an embarrassing mess and wuss out and make them ring an ambulance to take me for more pain relief!

Sorry for jumping on this thread a year later but can I please ask how you found it in the end? Considering a homebirth but one of my fears is I will wimp out spectacularly. I was begging for an epidural at 4cm on my first. 😅

Alanis4000 · 04/10/2024 23:55

Also would like an update if poss, hope everything went well x

Fivepigeons · 24/01/2025 21:40

Alanis4000 · 04/10/2024 23:55

Also would like an update if poss, hope everything went well x

Unfortunately it did not go to plan!
I had to be induced in hospital in the end due to high BP during my last midwife appointment.
Was sad not to get to experience homebirth. But it was a straight forward birth in hospital. 4 hours. Baby girl born healthy and home that night.
She's just turned 1!!

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