Help with post c-section... hubby has to go away 2 weeks after.

[crace]

DH has dropped that he is going away for a company conference 12 days after my c-section. It's a 15 hour flight - He has to go, the political climate at work bad at moment but I am in a flap about how I am going to cope. DS is 11 so will just get on with life, I think I will get MIL to take dd, 2, to hers for those 5 days and then it's just me and babs.

But it's the major surgery bit that worries me. I am not my best emotionally post natally so don't want anyone to stay so I can just "be myself" and will arrange someone to come by every night to feed ds and myself and hopefully sneak in a shower. Plus MIL is old school and I wouldn't be able to bf in front of her and that would stress me out too much. Rather be on my own frankly!! I am panicking about it however, tips on surviving? Things I haven't thought of please?!

Can you get a postnatal doula? She could help feed DS and would be good support for your new baby.

You'll be fine...get your shopping done via the internet and it will be OK. IT is the no driving bit that is a bugger. By 2 weeks I was Ok to go out and pushed my pushchair etc.

How expensive are they? I suppose that's a thought..

I do have a friend or two who wouldn't mind taking it in goes to come and help out for an hour or two at tea time and I would feel comfortable "being myself". I really am a nightmare and seeing the GP about trying to deal with that now, rather than after the fact so I am not dealing with it along with the pain.

It's all just a nightmare

Have you had a C sedtion before?

Just to say that I had a C-section with ds, and by the second week after I was absolutely fine, dh had gone back to work, and altho I didn't have to do 24 hr care alone, I was coping fine with lifting baby and everything.

I'm sure you shouldn't be in pain by the second week.

don't want to scare you, but I still wasn't great moving around by the second week (I'm a slow healer) I still needed help bending (like changing nappies) & I didn't trust myself to bathe her

Yes, two before actually. I remember feeling "functional" but I don't want to take the chance that I am not really. So being organised is key..

I will have him make up meals before he goes (or between us) and hopefully if a friend can help make ds' lunch the night before.

Aquababe - yes that's what I am worried about - but hopefully if I have someone to bath the baby for me and allow me to shower and help with dinner we'll be alright?

So am I forgetting anything? I don't have family around who I can count on, and if MIL takes away dd for that time we should just manage.

You'll be fine.. my DH went away for two weeks after no 3 was delivered by Csection.. you are more aware of how you're going to be and its not as bad as the first time round.. Baby will be fine if all she gets is a top and tail for a week.. get the shopping in and let the house get a bit messy!

Thanks I am sure I will be, crisis of confidence I think. Goodness knows I manage the other 18 hours without him as he works all hours known to man usually.

Thanks for the positive thoughts anyway!

Make up loads of bulk meals in advance of the birth e.g. curries, bolognaise, lasagne, shepherd's pie - freeze in individual portions and then you can take our as many as needed.

Before your DH goes make sure everyone's bedding has been changed and all towels have been washed and dried - these are really heavy things to wash and lug around straight after CS.

It will be ok though - I was surprised at how quickly I was pretty pain free doing things, and by 12 days post C/S you should be ok.

crace - you will be absolutely fine. I have had 2 sections before and with both I was driving by 2nd week without problems. Key is being prepared. I actually sent husband back to work after 5/6 days as he was getting under my feet! Good luck

iv have 2 sections and was up tescos on day 5, lol taking it easy, im sure you will be fine just dont do to much.

Look for a mother's help for a short period of time? I had one just after I had ds and had to have a hernia op, dh couldn't take time off, and she was just a joy. She was only young, but as I was around all the time that didn't bother me - she had no responsibility as such. She was sensible and competent and able to change a nappy when walking up the stairs to the changing mat was just too much effort!

One might be cheaper that a post birth doula?

Why on earth is he going.

I think you have most of the bases covered here. But I agree with advice to get mother's help. Or may a summer au pair. Get someone to do the housework (laundry, cleaning, etc.) and you enjoy your baby and other kids.

He is going to represent the UK (he's a senior director) and has to go, he is having a lot of problems at work with politics and I am very understanding of the fact that he has to go. He's a great husband and he is agonising over the fact he has to go - and I believe him.

I don't think we can afford mother's help but have spoken to a good friend and she is going to pop in a couple of times a day to help out. So that's covered, phew. What a stress!

I do think we will be fine, it's just a worry of mine that I could do without. That's life though eh?!

Going to make friends with ready made meals and convenient foods me thinks and good friend to help with laundry and ds' lunches etc. Hopefully that's it. (Can you tell I am trying to be optimistic here? )

first things first congratulations on your pg

i had a emergency cs and was mobilising slowly the following day. by day 12 i was larhely ok. still bit slow.i practised rolling out of bed as shown by physio(to avoid abdominal pull)

chat to physio ask for any postnatal tips

Order groceries from tesco or ocado they will carry into kitchen for you

get some take away menus

let the laundry pile up -no big deal

dont lift or drive or do anything too strenuous