Induction and DH support/comfort

[justsayso]

I'm currently in the hospital being induced in a bay of 3 other women and their DH/DP. Partners are allowed to stay overnight, great, so far things are progressing albeit slowly.

I settled down to sleep on the bed around 11.30 with DH watching something on the laptop in the chair next to me. When I woke up later around 3am I realised he had gotten down onto the floor to try to sleep!

We've both ended up awake since then, the ward is noisy and I've been being monitored etc but I feel awful for him. I know labour is focused on the woman and baby but why allow visitors to stay and not provide anything for them to sleep on? He's exhausted but putting a brave face on things, being very kind and supportive.

Does anyone have any advice or ideas as to what we could do in the tiny space we do have to make it more comfortable for him to sleep? He won't go home as we're an hour from the hospital and he doesn't want to risk missing the birth.
I was thinking of ordering a yoga mat or one of those self inflating air mattresses from Argos when it opens.
Can anyone sympathise or share any tips. This is going to be a lot harder if we're both knackered!

I’m not sure what to suggest. What you’ve thought of already sounds like a good idea if he really can’t sleep in the chair. Or maybe you could squeeze on the bed together for an hour or so to let him have a quick nap? Not sure if the nurses would like that though.

At least they’re allowing him to stay. When I was induced DH was only allowed to stay when I was in active labour. They kicked him out about an hour after our son was born. We don’t have a car, it was the middle of the night and the buses had stopped running. He went and sat in the bus shelter outside for hours until visiting hours started again. I understand they didn’t have space for a bed for him, but I don’t think it would have done any harm to let him sit in the chair by my bed for the night! Thankfully I did go into labour very quickly so he didn’t have to do that at all before the birth. Hopefully things will get moving soon for you too and then you can all go home soon. Good luck and congratulations.

I was induced last year. DH went home until they broke my waters and got moved onto delivery ward. Even then I laboured for 8 hours and he left for a few hours during the day because nothing was happening. Eventually I called him back in when they decided to send me for a c-section.

I know you logically want your DH there but I didn’t see the point of the two of us being exhausted. I needed him rested to help with the baby after birth because I knew I’d need rest then.

Is there a Travel Lodge or similarly cheap place he could check into for one night near the hospital? Very tricky situation to be in, am literally about to go through the same thing as we are a long drive from our nearest hospital and I'm going to be induced whenever i get the phone call this weekend. We decided DH stays during the day, then goes home to sleep at night as we have other children and he is no use to me shattered but if this is your first I can understand why he would be anxious not to risk missing it. I don't mind doing the final bit without birth partner though. For our first baby he slept on the hard hospital floor (or rather didn't sleep!) and looked worse than me when the baby arrived, hence won't be doing that again! Best of luck with your labour, hope things progress soon for you

I doubt you'd be allowed an inflatable mattress. You could ask a nurse for any advice but ultimately he's probably going to have to figure out how to get comfy on the chair.

How is your induction going? And is this your first baby? If things aren't progressing very quickly now then you're unlikely to suddenly go from 0-60 in an hour so it may be sensible for him to just go home and have a rest. Or see if there are any cheap hotels nearby? It's great he wants to be there but you'll need his support much more once it all kicks off and that could be many hours away yet. I failed to make any progress with my induction over 48 hours and then had to wait for a c-section. And that's when I really needed DH awake and alert.

Good lord just send him home. It does not make sense for both of you to be shattered.
Our hospital warns women that induction can take up to a week (imagine it's longer now)… is he going to sleep on the chair/floor all week??

Midwives are unlikely to let him have a mattress on the floor, it's a trip hazard and a pita trying to navigate sleeping partners for obs.

When I was induced, I just sent DH home for the night. No point him being there getting no sleep while I tried to sleep. Once my contractions started, I called him back (was about 5am). Worked perfectly for us.

Good luck with the induction. Hope all goes well 😊

A mattress on the floor really isn’t fair to the midwives etc. It makes it harder for them to monitor you if they’re having to work around your DH on the floor.

• send him home/to a nearby hotel
• ask the other couples if they’ve managed to make it more comfy
• can you sit on a birthing ball for a couple of hours and let him have a quick nap in the bed if he really needs it?
• get him to go and pick up a duvet or whatever from a local supermarket and sleep in the car if you have on there?

Honestly just send him home. Our hospital doesn't allow overnight partners for good reason. There is no point in you both been exhausted. If he's well rested he can support more once you've had the baby and really need him. My first induction took 8 days so you can't be doing that for all that time (worst case scenario).

Thanks for your responses I was a bit worried I'd get flamed for bringing the subject up!
I really think he should go home, he had a difficult couple of days in the run up to the induction so he's on fumes already. But he's worried he won't wake up if I call him. Which has happened before when I needed to reach him in the small hours in an emergency.
@Strawberrycheesecake7 how inhumane, your poor DH!
It is my first so I am expecting things to take forever. I'm bored out of my mind!
So options are

1. air mattress (a bit entitled I understand on a cramped ward though we are in the corner)
2. hotel
3. home
4. more chair contortions.

He could also try to kip in the car, at least someone could go and fetch him then but it would be comfier than the floor.

I know I'm going to need him either way once baby arrives so want him well rested. I'll try to have a firmer chat with him today, or baby might hurry up and arrive I suppose,, then we might be able to go home.

Thanks for being kind and I will update either with a sleeping solution or birth update!

You’ll never be allowed to put anything on the floor. I’m a nurse and that’s just a hazard. Also not allowed in case of code blues. Need to be able to run around/access things easily. Just send him home today and call him when you get moved to the delivery room. You’ll KNOW when things pick up and he needs to come back in.

Yeah send him home with his phone on loud ring and if you have family friends near by that can knock on if he sleeps through 🙈 good luck with the induction.

There is no way on Gods Green earth that an air mattress will be allowed into a ward for a patients partner to sleep on. The floors need to cleaned thoroughly every day, and not even that but if there was any number of medical emergencies how are they going to get around a great big air mattress? No.

He'll have to go home

Stop worrying about him, he's probably more comfortable than you are! I'd take chair sleeping over 9mo pregnant and undergoing induction.

If they start providing beds for partners, it would cost a lot, increase the space they need, get in the way. DH spent many nights on a hospital chair, a bit shit but there you go.

I once made a bed on a hospital floor out of cushions I pinched off all the spare chairs. I was 7 months pregnant at the time. It was not a comfortable night.

Send him home or to a hotel if you feel it’s too far. It was awful being on a ward with the men there all night; huffing and puffing while they tried to get comfortable then snoring when they finally did

I sent my DH home when I went in to be induced! Gave him a call when there was a bed ready for me on the delivery suite to have my waters broken. The chairs are so uncomfortable and I ended up labouring through the night so I’m glad he went home and got some rest as I really needed him to be rested for the birth (and every day since!).

Inductions can be such drawn out processes, so I would say sending him home with his phone on loud is probably the best approach, that or a nearby hotel!

Update: I've still got 6 hours for my first pessary, I'm on the birthing ball and he's on the bed - asleep within 5 minutes.
I'm going to YouTube some positive birth stories and breastfeeding tips before sneaking off for a walk on the ward.

@justsayso Hope things are progressing for you 😊