Petrified to have another baby

[Mummytobr]

Just to see if anyone else is in the same boat - my little boy is 2 and I’ve always wanted two kids. I’m not ready yet but at the same time I don’t feel like I ever will be. I had a rough labour and I suffered with bad PPD and PPA (like really, really bad. No one knows the extent) and I’m just petrified something will happen during labour or I’ll suffer mentally again whilst having another child to look after.

Has anyone else felt this? Honestly I consider sometimes just having the one baby but as an only child myself I just need my boy to have a sibling. I struggle so much being an only child as an adult and all these choices are just so hard.

Have you asked for a birth debrief so you can understand what happened and why during the last birth. This may make you better informed to decide if you want another.

you can also ask for an elective C section if you wanted?

A birth de brief can be really helpful. As well as flagging the issues you had last time with your midwives.
I had PND with both my children. However with the second I had help and anti depressants much more quickly. It did help.
i love my children. Despite the mental health issues I had after they were born I’m so pleased I did it.
Sometimes the fear is worse than the reality.
Good multi vitamin, plus fish oils can also really help.

Trust your instincts.

Like you, I wanted two, maybe three, and only had one who is 44 this year. I don't regret it, he has always had a great social life and is well-adjusted. I listened to my instincts, we have them for a reason.

However, you may change your mind and a second pregnancy and birth may be easier. Try not to worry about it right now, just enjoy your little one, they aren't little for long.

You could have an elective c section

I agree with trusting your instincts. One thing I will add is that if you're an anxious person it's best to get help for that before ttc because you may find the guilt at the impact of a newborn on your toddler triggers PPA.