Is it me?

[pregnancyrollercoaster]

Delighted that our baby girl has landed safely earthside with us 💖

Usual messages from folk congratulating us and welcoming our new arrival however I'm getting VERY irritated at people asking if her entry to the world was natural or CS. Is it my hormones or is that not a really nosey / personal question to ask? I've been ignoring it if asked as you wouldn't ask if baby was assisted by ventouse / forceps?? FWIW I wouldn't dream asking the method of delivery!

Baby is here happy and healthy so WHY ask the method of delivery?

Full disclosure so not accused of drip feeding Baby was a CS due to medical reasons.

Congratulations! People can be nosy buggers. Ignore the question.

Weird! Is there anything that might make them think it was a difficult delivery, eg prem?

Congratulations on your baby OP!

It's probably people just showing a genuine interest tbh. People like to share and discuss birth stories, so I can't imagine it's anything other than just wanting to know how it all went. When I announced DD was born I made a point of saying "arrived safe and healthy, delivered by emergency c section" so it was just common knowledge, I wasn't ashamed of how she was born, even if it was the entire opposite of what I'd hoped for. It's still early days, and you're probably feeling a tad emotional, how a baby was born becomes completely irrelevant after the birth, but for the mum who's healing from the repercussions and potential trauma of it all, it's still a big thing to come to terms with initially, and a huge part of becoming a mum. Once your dd is a few months old, there will be so many other experiences and milestones to being a mum than just how she arrived, as really that's the most major thing you've gone through so far. As she grows here will be more to talk about and discuss, like what makes her laugh, when she first smiles, how often she sleeps, what she likes to eat, when she starts crawling, and talking and walking etc. Congrats op x

Was CS on the cards before the birth? Could it be as CS is usually a longer recovery time, people are asking so they can help/support?

How strange, I’ve never been asked this and I’ve never thought to ask others either. I’d ignore, they’re just being nosey. Or you could say the stork dropped the baby off.

Congratulations!
I completely agree, it’s weird to ask, they’re nosy.

Other than weight, sex and method of delivery, there really isn’t much else to say or ask about a healthy neonate! So if people are trying to show they are interested, it’s not unexpected that they will ask about this. And can lead to follow up questions about your recovery and whether they can help, etc.

It’s normal in situations like this so share the details with close friends and family.
It’s just something people might ask if you’ve not already told them.
To be honest if I’d asked a close friend how her birth had gone and she told me it was private info I’d think she was being a bit precious and weird.
I’d respect her choice but I’d not understand it.

The wife of someone I don’t know very well asked if I needed stitches. What a fucking inappropriate question.

Try not to take it personally.. people are probably just interested. Are you sad because it wasnt the birth you'd intended and projecting a bit? They shouldn't be asking such personal questions its rude but it probably just comes from a place of wanting to swap birth stories... it sounds like you think its coming from a place of judgement. Its highly unlikely to be due to that. You still get the odd dickhead who thinks Cs is some kind of easy option but most women whove given birth know full well its not.. id say its much more likely they are just interested and want to chat about it. Kind of insensitive of them not to have considered that it might be traumatic for you but I dont see thetes any need to be offended.
Just either ignore the question completely or say 'it was a hard time and im not ok with discussing it'

Who is asking? Your male boss would be very weird. Your best friend who had her own baby recently then totally normal!

Wouldn't bother me at all.

I’d find it an intrusive question and I’d say so.

Wouldn't bother me

It's not something I'd ever ask someone, although I would be interested to know (purely to swap birthing stories and to talk about how awful it is).

It is weird that people are asking that but they don't mean any harm.

Respond thanking them and leave them to it :).

Thanks for the replies and best wishes so far :) interesting to see both sides!

Not a difficult birth, baby was breech and they tried to turn her twice but she wasn’t for budging! I’m not ashamed or sad as she is here and healthy (thank goodness!) I can’t see the relevance though asking the mode of delivery which was why I asked as didn’t know if it was my brain or if it’s a normal question to ask someone with a new bundle of joy (I know I’ve never asked!)

@DanceMumTaxi - that’s a GREAT response! I used to tell people I came from the cabbage patch when I was younger 😂

@Sexnotgender absolutely speechless about this what a nosey funt!

@GodspeedJune could I have some of your courage please? An acquaintance messaged saying she would be over soon for a cuddle (still in hospital) and it must’ve been the painkillers as I went back and said that’s lovely, more than welcome to come over for a cuddle soon however at the moment we are concentrating on getting home and into some semblance of a new normal. I got back simply a ‘fine.’ 😨

@mimoo1
I think I will try that approach of thanks for your well wishes and not answer any follow up around birth story as I feel that's very private to me (in RL I am a private person, more open online as it's got some anonymity)

@JanglyBeads sorry my reply to you didn't post, thank you for your congratulations, baby was here 8 days earlier than anticipated but again we hadn't said baby was due on X date, we went with anticipated month of arrival 💜

I think people are trying (in a clumsy way) to sound interested or make conversation.

People are just being polite. It wouldn't bother me.

Congratulations on her safe arrival 👏
I think it all boils down to who is asking... if you previously chatted about baby being breech they are probably just asking as a natural point of curiosity. I had said to colleagues that I thought dc2 was much bigger than dc1 even though scans didn't suggest a big difference (I was correct...). I got lots of questions about weight and head size... I didn't mind as I had volunteered relevant information during pregnancy.

Who is asking? MIL? Neighbour? Your mum?

yeah - wouldn't bother me at all. i've had 9 - 2 c sections, one forceps, several inductions - honestly i'd be glad people take an interest as my family showed absolutely none after my first.

It depends how close they are, if it was close friends or family then I would ask about the birth, and I wouldn't take offence at them doing the same

I find the whole thing so odd. The type of people who ask would never normally be asking about your period or any other matter concerning your vagina or insides so why suddenly is it their business? 🙈 My MIL asked me repeatedly what the reason was for the csection and I was vague in my answers then she asked again a year later. It’s like she feels she needs to know the inner workings of my reproductive system 🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s no one else’s business! The baby came out, end of story

If they’re close friends or family they may be asking as recovery can be quite different for both (I’ve had both so know the difference - both are hard!). Also sometimes I’ve found that friends or colleagues who haven’t had children can sometimes be quite interested in your birth story, often because they cannot imagine someone going through something so massive/scary 😂 I think after birth we are quite raw emotionally and often aren’t looking to share our birth story when we’re dealing with the immediate after affects of it which is totally fair enough. It’s enough to say you’re not ready to share your birth story yet but are recovering ok.