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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

No birthing partner?

12 replies

Dee45677 · 11/08/2023 19:35

I'm 38 weeks pregnant with second baby, we had childcare sorted for when I go into labour but it has now fallen through due to my mil having some health issues.
My best friend has just moved away and my family aren't an option.

So my question is for anyone that has given birth alone in hospital? How does this work? My partner played such a big part in my first birth and to say I'm terrified of turning up alone would be an understatement but it is looking like our only option.

I'm also quite worried about having this conversation with my midwife as I feel like such an inconvenience to them turning up with no support/help.

Any experiences or advice would be much appreciated!

OP posts:
Newusernameaug · 11/08/2023 19:36

Have you considered a home
birth so partner and child can be there?

Step5678 · 11/08/2023 19:44

This was my main reason for homebirthing my second child; partner would have to stay home with older child and I didn't want to be alone and vulnerable in hospital. Birth at home was beautifully calm and all on my terms. Obviously has to be something you feel comfortable with though.

If you do go into hospital alone, I suggest you have a very clear birth plan as it can be difficult to have your preferences respected if there is no one there to advocate for you. If you have the money, you could also consider hiring a doula?

fullbloom87 · 11/08/2023 19:46

Why don't you go on www.care.com/en-gb/ there must be someone that is willing to help at short notice who has the right checks etc. I wouldn't want to birth alone or have a home birth unless I really really wanted to .

buzzlightyearsgloves · 11/08/2023 19:52

No experience but I'm in the same situation and will be birthing alone. I'm just going to make sure I have a clear birth plan. My only concern was who would have baby if I had to go to surgery but I've been reassured the midwives would take care of that. Everyone's different but I prefer to do things on my own anyway.

yogasaurus · 11/08/2023 19:54

I gave birth in the middle of covid 1 pandemic. DH was only admitted for the last 5 minutes, I was already pushing.

It would have been horrendous for first baby, but for second, it was fine.

As PP said, you need to be assertive with your plan.

Good Luck

lavenderdilly · 11/08/2023 22:12

I've had two easy home births now and if that's an option for you then it really is worth considering. Especially a second labour! X

ECPCR2 · 11/08/2023 22:19

I ended up giving birth to DD alone (well, without DH - there were midwives there) because I'd been admitted but visiting hours had ended and I went from 3cm to birth in 20 mins so he didn't make it in time...

It wasn't nice, I'll be honest. Going through massively intense contractions completely alone was very scary, but certainly the fact I was being told I was still in early labour (despite screaming in pain) definitely made it worse.

When I started involuntarily pushing the midwives did stay with me and helped me to a delivery room with about a minute to spare. It wasn't the birth I wanted. But the midwives and maternity assistants were really nice and definitely wanted to help and comfort me as they could see I was so scared. I think because my situation went from 0 to 100 so incredibly quickly I didn't have time to think about it much. But just know that whilst they see births all day every day, it's still special for them and they'll support you and be there for you if you can't have anyone else. I'd have the conversation sooner rather than later so you can prepare yourself and them.

TheresMore · 11/08/2023 22:20

I gave birth to my second alone (by choice)

The midwife was amazing. They knew I was giving birth alone; it was in my notes.

I was admitted due to reduced movements - once I reached 4cm I was taking to the birthing - where the midwife stayed with me the whole time - had dd; the midwives (2 by this point) cleaned dd & dressed her - (I had sets of clothing in bags labelled) had a shower with the usual tea & toast & then they took me to the ward where I was with 4 other women.

I didn't have a birth plan as I'm a go with the flow birther lol

Honestly - wouldn't have had it any other way.

uhtredsonofuhtred1 · 11/08/2023 23:01

I gave birth to my 4th alone with the midwife in hospital. I had a lazy abusive ex who couldn't even be arsed to show up for the birth of his only son 🤷🏼‍♀️ it definitely made me a bit more panicky, the midwife didn't stay with me all of the time as she was super busy with other people. At one point she panicked as the baby's heart rate dropped suddenly and pressed the red crash button. That was really scary for me, their priority obviously wasn't me or getting hold of my husband it was the baby which is understandable but I felt so alone and helpless.

However, I'm still glad I was alone but was extra special for me and my son. The sense of achievement afterwards was amazing. It happens more than you think. Not everyone has a team of people to babysit.

Traceyislivid · 11/08/2023 23:07

I really enjoyed my second ‘lone’ birth. The dynamic was lovely. All midwives were nothing but supportive. I cannot recommend it enough. You don’t need a birthing partner feeling like a spare end. However, I am an introvert and do not need constant company so enjoyed the peace and just being in the moment, focusing on myself and baby. I’d definitely do it again and recommend it.

AuntieJune · 11/08/2023 23:17

Dh was very important for my first birth, second time round it was so much quicker, tbh there was nothing he could do to help and I found anything like massage or encouraging words annoying.

If you can afford it, a doula is another option - they sometimes do childcare rather than birth attendance too!

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