Birth debrief

[okthenwhat]

I'm booking a birth debrief to discuss my first birth. I've a lot of unresolved feelings about how it was handled. What can I expect? Will the debriefer actively explain everything or will I have to push for information?

I had this a couple of weeks ago and found it to be really beneficial.

They started by asking whether I'd like to just ask specific questions or if I'd like them to go through the notes in chronological order and ask questions along the way. I chose the latter and it was very thorough as things cropped up that I hadn't remembered or was unsure on the timing or order of.

Thanks.

I hope it'll be helpful. There's some things I remember specifically that I want to check. I'd also like more information about why certain clinical decisions were made and the evidence behind them.

I'm pregnant again and the birth of DD is weighing on my mind.

I had a debrief when I was 20w pregnant with dc2.

I definitely did need to go in armed with specific questions but I found it really useful and we also did a lot of planning for my second birth during that appointment.

Be warned though, they can only look back at your maternity notes and sometimes they aren't very comprehensive so you may not get all the answers you want.

I found mine really helpful. I expected them to be defensive but they were quite the opposite and encouraged me to complain. It really helped put things in perspective..For example I thought one situation had gone on for hours but actually the notes showed it was 45 minutes so it helped me to see what the actual and perceived failings were. I felt much more at peace and hope you will too

I had these after both my DC; they had my medical notes and went through them step by step and explained anything I wasn’t clear on. If the reason behind these decisions isn’t written down they won’t be able to give a definitive answer but can explain why this might happen in these scenarios

I have a couple of specific questions fortunately. I recall certain things, which I think are poor practice rather than malpractice, so knowing for definite whether my memory is accurate will help me get over it.

It'd be good to discuss the whys and wherefores and evidence around what I was told was going to be done.

I was induced. It started due to various delays around 7pm. I recall specifically that the drip was turned down in the middle of the night so I could get some rest, but I don't remember it being turned up again. I don't recall much progression beyond waking up and definitely none beyond mid morning.

I want to check my recollection is correct or whether I'm wrong.

With what you have said op, I would ask them to take you through everything step by step as they will give you the times the decisions were made and you can then question specifically the steps you are concerned with.

I hope it gives you some peace of mind

Thanks @daydreamingnightowl

I’m 39 weeks with baby 2. I wish I’d done a debrief after ECS with baby 1. I ended up crying in two appointments now because I’m still annoyed at some things (albeit minor compared to some people) from my first birth and feel sad/angry