Vaginal or c-section for DC2?

[Bunny2021]

I’m really undecided if I want to go for a vaginal birth again or a c-section for DC2.

DC1 was born after 27 hours of labour. My waters broke at home but contractions were 3 in 10 straight away and DC1 was back-to-back so was so painful. Pethedine barely touched the sides and I wasn’t given an epidural until I was 6cm. Birth was ok - had an episiotomy but three hours after birth DC1 was rushed to NICU and we were in hospital for a week.

Unfortunately my episiotomy got infected but it took 2 weeks until a midwife swabbed to check. In this time I could barely sit down and feeding was an issue. Eventually I was diagnosed with an infection and it took three rounds of antibiotics to treat it. I think this contributed to my PND.

I’m due at the end of September so have a few weeks but can’t decide if I go for a c-section this time. Due to everything that happened last time, I’m under consultant led care so I’ve got a meeting at 32 weeks to discuss my options/plans.

In my mind I like the idea of the control/planning aspect of the c-section but I have a very heavy toddler at home. I hate the idea of not being able to pick him up.

I just don’t know how to decide?!

I'm in a similar situation, first was long induced back to back labour with episiotomy and rotational forceps in theatre. Long recovery, bad stitching, some pelvic floor damage.

Due end of Sept, have had one consultant appointment and another one coming at 36 weeks.

My red line is no induction. Consultant is fully supportive and agrees that we'll go straight to ELCS if induction was recommended. Consultant was also very balanced re: ELCS vs vaginal, not pushing in either direction.

Not yet decided whether I want ELCS or vaginal if I go into labour spontaneously. Leaning towards vaginal.

I really hope baby isn't b2b this time if I go vaginal.

I have to say, if you have support for the first couple of weeks, the mind boggles as to why you wouldn't have a csection?
I had a mildly bad experience the first time with vaginal compared to yours. Was adamant I'd only have csection for another. Had it. Bonded much better. Quite bloody angry that midwives etc all shunted me towards as 'natural' a birth as possible for the first one when it comes with so many risks and long term consequences for your body. Nobody ever ever mentions birth injuries at nct classes.

Thanks both.

@apples24 - minus the forceps and theatre, this was exactly my birth. I'm also an aboslute no to induction. I would say at my initial meeting my consutlant was leaning towards vaginal over c-section.

@Carouselfish thanks for sharing your experience. I have a very supportive husband, my mum is realtively local and I've got friends as well, so definitely have support there if needed.

I was a single parent when I had my C-section, I picked up my kids from the off set as had no choice, it was fine if im honest

If you have support then obviously will be fine

I had a c-section for DC2, just a few thoughts. Firstly it is an incredibly personal decision, there is no right or wrong answer, it is whatever feels right for you. I thought it was important to say that while there are some lucky ladies who seem to bounce back immediately from a c-section and are pushing the pram on week 1, for lots of others it a slow and sometimes frustrating recovery, especially if you already have older DC. I found that I couldn’t physically do anything for 2 weeks, even holding DC2 was incredibly painful. I turned a corner between 6-8 weeks and I’m totally fine now 10 months down the line.

I think sometimes there is a misconception about how frustrating and elongated recovery from a c-section can be as you really are physically limited when it comes to all the basic tasks. My DH carried and picked up DC2 for the majority of the first 3 weeks after they were born. It was a bit tough emotionally as all I wanted to do was carry and cuddle baby DC2! However I also have no regrets, my c-section was technically a maternal request even though it was recommended by doctors and I have never once regretted my decision. I just wish I’d been a little more prepared for how I’d feel during those key 6-8 weeks of postnatal recovery.

I had a planned section with my ds. No experience of a heavy toddler bombing around but I would consider how much annual leave your dh can take. Mine was only able to get 2 weeks off and that did make it difficult for the days in weeks 3 and 4 where I didn't have my mum staying to help. If we're lucky enough to be able to go again, I'd plan dhs annual leave so he could take longer and recruit my mum and mil for babysitting and housework duties until week 4. I ended up pulling stitches trying to put my pram up by myself getting out to my midwife appointments and it was difficult to get the infection under control again.

I'd also plan things you can do with your toddler sitting down, like snuggling up for movies or reading books etc so you've got a plan of how you can have some time with them while someone else does the lifting.

I don't regret my section at all tbh I've had an easier recovery and smoother experience than friends who had vbac but everyone is different and I think everyone perceives their recovery differently too. I made sure dh was really on board and knew what to expect as it did put all the housework on his shoulders and in the first week or so I needed help to get dressed because I couldn't bend. I do think the easier you take it, the faster the recovery. If I was doing it again I'd limit my visitors more as well, I felt really good provided I kept on top of my pain relief and took it at regular intervals but at certain times when it was maybe wearing off I'd feel a bit vulnerable and weak and need to go lie down. Having visitors when you're feeling like that is quite stressful so next time round we're closing the door for at least the first week unless someone is coming to provide support rather than just see a cute baby! It's a personal decision and every birth is different so I think trust your gut!

Thank you @MummyJ36 and @Lavender14 . It is the recovery that concerns me, DH gets 2 weeks off and no family support at all. I have school runs to do, with DS1 I was, even after hard vaginal delivery, out pushing buggy on long walks after just 1 week.

If I go into labour naturally, the stats are on my side to have a better experience than first time around but nothing is guaranteed, all options come with risks.

I do hope I haven’t scared you with my reply! I feel I should add that I had absolutely debilitating SPD for the duration of my second pregnancy which left me immobile for at least 5 months before the birth. As a result my abdominals and physical fitness was rock bottom when I went in for my section. I do believe this contributed to me finding those initial few weeks very difficult. If you have maintained a reasonable level of physical fitness (even just being able to walk to and from drop off) I’m sure you’ll be at a much better starting point than I was.

If your DH can take 2 weeks leave let him take over everything in those two weeks. Perhaps even consider getting a cleaner in for a bit to remove any temptation or pressure to do household tasks. Would you have anyone who could do the school run, even for just one week? I know a fair few mums who had c-sections and they felt able to do the school run at week 4 without issue (even some before then).

I just wanted to add that as I didn’t want my experience to impact your decision if you really feel c-section is the right thing for you!

I had an actually lovely home birth with DC1 but a BIG tear, which meant I was offered a C-section section second time around.

I considered it for a long time but declined it purely because I know in my heart that this will probably be my last child and I just so want the opportunity to give birth in my living room and get in to my own bed afterwards, which didn't happen last time as I had to go and have surgery to repair the tear. Obviously those reasons are very specific to me!

Anyway came here to say, I listened to this podcast and it REALLY helped me make a decision.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7kfQBZvErzvd1HqfrsWT5k?si=TPygxwiYRG6xUgSYMR5rMA

In a nutshell, second labours are overwhelming better and shorter than the first so if you want a VB that's quite reassuring.