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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Will I be able to cope?

16 replies

nmicw · 13/07/2023 10:20

Pregnant with my first, due to be induced in a few weeks although hoping to go myself, I was super positive about labour and birth throughout my whole pregnancy but now that it’s only weeks away, I am petrified! I was hoping to go all natural for health anxiety reasons, I would pretty much rather feel excruciating pain than feel numb from the epidural. It’s weird I know. The past few weeks I’ve been getting the worst ‘needing to go the toilet’ cramps, that last about 20 seconds, sometimes followed by actually needing the loo or sometimes won’t even need the loo. But they are PAINFUL. To the point I’m having to breathe through them and they make me sweat, these cramps have left me SO scared to experience labour pains as I’ve been described by others before that labour pains is like needing the toilet x10000. I genuinely can’t handle the cramps I’ve been experiencing I don’t know how I’m going to cope. How would you all explain contractions, any good ways to cope? Not sure what I’m looking for really, I’m just so scared now. Ahhhhhh. Thanks

OP posts:
DMVJ · 13/07/2023 10:34

nmicw · 13/07/2023 10:20

Pregnant with my first, due to be induced in a few weeks although hoping to go myself, I was super positive about labour and birth throughout my whole pregnancy but now that it’s only weeks away, I am petrified! I was hoping to go all natural for health anxiety reasons, I would pretty much rather feel excruciating pain than feel numb from the epidural. It’s weird I know. The past few weeks I’ve been getting the worst ‘needing to go the toilet’ cramps, that last about 20 seconds, sometimes followed by actually needing the loo or sometimes won’t even need the loo. But they are PAINFUL. To the point I’m having to breathe through them and they make me sweat, these cramps have left me SO scared to experience labour pains as I’ve been described by others before that labour pains is like needing the toilet x10000. I genuinely can’t handle the cramps I’ve been experiencing I don’t know how I’m going to cope. How would you all explain contractions, any good ways to cope? Not sure what I’m looking for really, I’m just so scared now. Ahhhhhh. Thanks

I had an epidural and I wasn't numb from the waist down. I could walk and push a bit. It felt fabulous. And I had an emergency c section. And that was also fine. Planned sections are even better I believe. Many women cope with natural births and others find it difficult but manage. Either way if you need to have an epidural it's completely fine! I loved it!

DMVJ · 13/07/2023 10:37

They might be braxton hicks. So that a bit like Labour. Not an expert. I had some contractions and to me it felt like when you have stomach pains and you want to throw up. Then it just went. And you feel ok. Had to breathe too. X

DMVJ · 13/07/2023 10:39

You can have gas and air or all sorts of pain relief.

littlemissalwaystired · 13/07/2023 10:42

I would just go into it open minded and work your way up the pain relief options. Don't rule things out until you start contracting as you might change your mindSmile good luck!

DelphiniumBlue · 13/07/2023 10:55

Why are you expecting to be induced?
Anyway, I understand what you re saying about the various interventions, I remember crying after an NCT class because all the options for pain relief sounded awful!
For me, ( and I had 3 babies without any pain relief) labour was bearable. I was lucky, mine didn't last too long so I didn't get exhausted, which I think can be a problem for some.
What helped: a chance meeting a few days before with a midwife who told me to enjoy the birth - I'd not realised that was a thing; doing controlled breathing ( very basic, breathe in for 4, out for 4 type of thing) and visualisation - I'd read about imagining opening up like a flower unfurling. I don't know how much help any of things were in reality, but having them to focus on was good for me. Also, women in my family seem to have easy births so I suspect it's partly luck/genetics! But if you can manage to get on top of the pain, to feel in control, so that you can follow the midwife's instructions, it really helps.
Hypnobirthing techniques might work to help you with the anxiety.
Hope it all goes well for you!

follygirl · 13/07/2023 11:01

I remember my shiny birthing plan where I was as going to have a water birth and only use a tens machine for pain relief.
Unfortunately 30 hours later I worked my way through different pain relief ending up with an epidural. My daughter had her arm next to her head so giving birth was more challenging than it needed to be. With my son it was 14 hours and no pain relief because apparently I wasn't using the entonox properly so did it standing up leant over a bed.
My advice would be to just go with it. As long as you and the baby are both fine at the end, that should be the priority. It's not a badge of honour.

justaweenamechange · 13/07/2023 11:07

My first labour was at home in a pool with gas & air.

I had a fast labour which was very intense but I didn't once think that I needed any extra pain relief.

I really went inside myself and felt like I was on another planet to be honest.

Contractions are painful but it's purposeful pain, not like theres something wrong.

I really rated hypnobirthing, it gave me a lot of confidence going in to labour and I was happy to know what was going on in my body at every stage.

I actually very similarly to you had bad stomach pains in late third trimester that would stop me in my tracks, but it really can't be compared to contractions which are your body doing what it's supposed to be doing. Felt very different to me.

Tiredjoanna · 13/07/2023 11:11

Like you I was pregnant with first and an absolute wimp for pain. So wouldn't even consider a needle in spine. When waters broke and contraction started was terrified. It's like severe cramps feeling like you need the loo. Gas and air is a godsend. Use it. To be honest you're so busy trying to get it out you kinda go fuzzy on the pain. I had no extra pain relief and I managed and as I say I'm a complete wimp

peachesandsweets · 13/07/2023 11:39

I'm a massive wimp but I have now had two births in water with gas and air. I surprised myself with the strength that I managed to find in the moment. Remember there are lots of options for pain relief, and also remember that every contraction is one step closer to it being over and baby arriving!

If it helps as well - you will forget all the pain very quickly once you hold your baby!

peachesandsweets · 13/07/2023 11:40

Also - I wouldn't describe contractions like needing the toilet exactly. They build and peak like a wave, so you are able to have breaks in-between, and it is just getting though that intense 45 seconds. I would recommend you download the Freya app - the breathing really got me through it all!

Peony654 · 13/07/2023 11:41

Is there a reason to be induced? That's my only stipulation for my birth is that I only want to be induced if there is a genuine medical need for the baby's health. Apart from that I'm just going to see how it goes. Women give birth all day all over the world in awful conditions, we are so lucky to have medical support here. And if it was that bad - everyone would be an only child!

Greenbirdgreengrass · 13/07/2023 11:45

I used self-hypnosis and gas and air. My labour started with very intense contractions every minute or two apart. I have very low tolerance for pain but it was fine. Every time I breathed out I said ‘relax’ and tried to relax and ‘open’ in my body.

that lasted about 5 to 6 hours when I had an emergency c-section.

Personally I now think c-sections are brilliant! Such a great way to have a baby!

justanothermanicmonday1 · 13/07/2023 12:08

With my first I was dead against an epidural. Started with gas and air. Nope, never again. Epidural all the way.

I'm due in 2 weeks with our second and it's the first thing I'll be asking for when I'm induced and sent to the labour ward.

DMVJ · 13/07/2023 19:12

Loved my epidural and my section. I had planned a water birth. And it went wrong fast. There was something in my urine. So I had to go to be induced then didn't make progress. Pushed for an hour. Nothing. Then a section. It was brilliant loved it.

Summer2424 · 13/07/2023 19:18

Hi @nmicw i gave birth to my first baby last year and honestly it's like nature gives us Mum's strength to get through it. Honestly it's going to be ok xx
I was induced and when in labour had the epidural, it was the best thing and i'd have it again.
Don't worry you got this 💪xx

MontblancTheSecond · 13/07/2023 19:46

Not all births are terrible, I had two natural ones, no pain meds, and it was fine. The fact that I knew it would come and that it would be over in max 48 hours helped.

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