Tips for an ELCS recovery with a 2.5year old

[Babytwodue]

Baby two is due in a couple of weeks and I have opted for an ELCS due to a previous 3C tear.

I already have a huge amount of Mum guilt at how my little ones life is going to be turned upside down and not being able to pick him up etc is going to be so hard.

Does anyone have any practical advice on how to juggle this? How to manage the mum guilt and also still feel involved as I won’t be able to put him in the car, get him out of his cot in the morning etc 🫣

I had my second baby by ELCS 6 weeks ago. Older brother was 2 years 3 months and I had similar concerns. It's honestly been fine. And he's been fine. It is just a pain in the butt not being able to lift him, particularly at bed and bath time.

Three bits of advice I got which have been useful to me:

• talk to your toddler about what is going to be like to have a baby, not just that there will be a baby. Get him used to mum not doing everything. Start not doing these things before the baby is born if possible
• figure out quickly if your toddler wants to be the 'big kid' and help or wants to still be treated like a baby. This will probably swap about but life will be easier if you align with what they want
• prioritise the toddler. If the baby is crying your tendency will be to want to go to them. But your toddler can kill themselves or make your life a misery with tantrums. The baby will be fine if you leave it to cry for 5 mins to tend to your toddler.

Practically, I wish I had transitioned my toddler into a toddler bed. If not possible then you can still be there when they wake up even if you cant lift them. They won't care if someone else lifts them out and you are then there to give them a cuddle.

4 weeks postpartum from elective section. My first has just turned 3, so a bit older than yours. I would echo PP in recommending explaining to your toddler that you won't be able to carry or lift for a few weeks. My daughter was most upset when I told her this initially and I felt dreadful, but by the time it came to the section, she understood and would repeat back to me that my tummy was poorly for a while. I've not found my recovery to be nearly as painful as anticipated, so actually have been able to cuddle/ sit and snuggle with my toddler instead, so offering that when she's upset as a solution to carrying. When she's got upset at me not carrying her I've also acknowledged and validated it for her! Telling her I am sad about it too and can't wait to carry her again has helped her to process her feelings. What has really helped though to be honest is having family and my husband around a lot for the first few weeks to distract her from what I can't do.

I have elective section scheduled for 3 weeks time, and I have a 2.8 year old toddler who is very much a mummy's boy. I started teaching him how to climb in and out of car seat by himself (he is loving it), how to climb into a bath using a step and some non-lifting support from me. Lots of sitting down cuddles as opposed to lifting up cuddles.

Cot will be a bit difficult, I have transitioned DS into toddler bed a while ago which makes things a lot easier. I second PP on talking talking talking about how mummy won't be able to do those things.

Thank you @Whentwobecomesthree @DomesticElf @thosethreewords for your replies. That’s really helpful!
I’ve begun talking about it to him and hope this will help 🤞🏻
also great advice about prioritising toddler, will try to take that approach when the baby comes 🙂