C section vs vaginal - 2nd birth

[Tadah2]

Would love to hear people’s experiences, this has probably been done to death - so apologies if it has.

I am due my second baby soon, my first was a vaginal birth, DC1 was back to back (constant contraction pain from 4cm onwards), labour was 33 hours and I pushed for 2.5 hours. I ended up with an episiotomy, this completely opened my first day back from hospital. It was covid times and no one wanted to see me, so they said just take paracetamol and ibuprofen. I was in excruciating pain, teamed with a baby that wouldn’t latch and very little sleep I found it very hard. 6 week Drs app I got antibiotics, but I was still in pain, was still having to wee in the shower and poo standing up (sorry if TMI). I was in pain for 4 months ( when I went private the consultant confirmed I still had some healing to complete at 4 months but wasn’t too far away). I had PND for 18 months, my birth contributed, but so did many other things (my first DC being up every 45 mins, my first DC cluster feeding for 6 hours in the evening until 12 months, not taking the bottle, feeding day and night every 45 mins).

For my second birth I have spoken to my perinatal unit and been given the option of a planned c section. I just wanted to hear any thoughts on second births (after a slightly tricky first birth) planned c section vs vaginal. My main concern with c section is not being able to lift DC1 for 6 weeks, as they are very attached and still like to be carried and cuddled lots. But the thought of going through 4 months of pain and limited after care again makes me very anxious.

Hi OP, sorry about your difficult experience with your first birth and afterwards, sounds very painful!
With my first birth, it was also a difficult/ traumatic vaginal birth and ended in episiotomy and forceps in theatre, and poor aftercare. I did heal well eventually, but was very, very sore for a while.
I was determined to have a better second birth. Did the hypnobirthing course, tried all sorts to ensure I was as prepared as possible for a birth with “no interventions”. Unfortunately, DS was in an awkward position and I also had back to back contractions so I was very distressed (too far along for pain relief by time I got to hospital, was fully dilated), and I was pushing for what felt like an eternity before they decided to take me to theatre, and it was like going through my first birth again - episiotomy and forceps.
I did actually recover much better second time round; however; if and when we have a third, I will 100% be opting for an elective section. I just can’t put myself through that again.
Everyone’s experiences are different, but just thought I would give my take on it.
Congratulations in advance- I hope it goes as smooth as possible for you! X

I ended up with 2 c sections, so not the same. However, I just wanted to say I was really stressed about not being able to pick up DC1, who was pretty reliant on it. However, it worked out WAY better than expected. Started a bit at end of pregnancy saying couldn't pick up and when DC2 born when DC1 just over 2, they were really good. Just went onto the floor with them / used a pillow to protect my stomach. It was fine!

I had a ventouse delivery with episiotomy with my first and an emergency c section with my second.
My first was 4 so didn't get carried often and I could explain to her about my sore tummy but depending your firsts' age this may not be possible. My sister had a little step for her first (2) when she had her second so he could get up onto the chair and then onto the dining table so she could get his coat and shoes on etc.
Recovery wise I found the episiotomy more uncomfortable (and my recovery was relatively straightforward). I was only in proper pain with my c section for the first week, it improved massively week 2 onwards, especially with regular painkillers.
I had pnd with both of mine. I know if you have it once you're more likely to get it again so a different birth may not stop it, but if like you say your birth was a contributing factor, hopefully you'll avoid it a second time. I managed far better second time by taking action as soon as the signs appeared so it wasn't as traumatic an experience.
Good luck x

My first was back to back and had a long painful labour with four hours of pushing. Was fully convinced second time around would be better as every one said second births are easier! It was not, he was also back to back and the more I pushed the more awkward a position he got into. Ended up with an emergency c section as it was deemed too risky to attempt forceps. I don’t say this to put you off, just to offer a different narrative to the one that is often found here around second births being easier. I’m sure that’s the case in the majority of the time but not always!

In terms of recovery from a c section… I’d already been picking up DS1 less towards the end of pregnancy anyway as it was uncomfortable. I gave him lots and lots of sofa cuddles and got down on his level as and when I could. The first few days were tough as getting out of bed was difficult let alone anything else, but honestly it was a lot better than I thought a c section recovery would be - and that was an emergency one.

DS2 is nine weeks now and I’m back to picking up DS1, he seems none the worse for it.

I also had a traumatic first vaginal birth. I had to have a c-section last year for unrelated health reasons. I was nervous, as I hadn't chosen to have one and even though I was glad I wouldn't have to go through a traumatic vaginal birth again, I was scared about the recovery from the c-section. As it happened, recovery was so much easier than I'd worried. Yes, the first few days were difficult and painful but not unbearably so. And the recovery was rapid: after a week I wasn't in pain other than getting in/out of bed or off the sofa, and after two weeks I was moving around pretty comfortably. My first daughter was five so I didn't have the worries of not being able to carry her...but as others have said, there are ways around it. I know mg experience is just one anecdote and I know some people have a much rougher time of it post-section, but it was honestly like chalk and cheese compared to my vaginal birth. Good luck with whatever you decide.