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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Will my vagina ever be the same?

24 replies

Bananatoastie · 28/06/2023 22:42

Hi all, hoping some mamma bears can help me feel better about my postpartum fears!

I am 4 weeks postpartum and I had a first degree tear (12 stitches total). I know first degree tears are the least horrific so I'm not sure if it was the tearing or just how childbirth changes the vagina, but honestly I can't believe the change! It's totally unrecognisable, I feel horrified when I look at it! I've lost all my confidence and I can't ever imagine wanting to be intimate again.

Do things drastically improve or will it just improve minimally over time? I'm genuinely terrified that I've been left deformed? I don't know if this is normal because I'm the first of my friends and the first of my sisters to have a baby so I can't even ask them. My mother insists that It all goes back to normal, but I worry that she's only saying that to make me feel better.

Any honest responses would be really appreciated! Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
Janedoe82 · 28/06/2023 22:44

I also had first degree tear. Everything fine now. Can’t even remember what it looked like before.

SeaToSki · 28/06/2023 22:51

Yes and no. It will be fine and everything will work well and you will enjoy sex again. But it will not go back to exactly the same.

You can have confidence on the basis of how many children have little brothers and sisters in this world 🤣

Smittenkitchen · 28/06/2023 22:53

You're very early on so don't worry at this stage! I'd recommend not looking at it for a while! There's often swelling, healing and also hormonal changes. How things are now is almost definitely not how it will end up.

thebloodycatwontstopmeowing · 28/06/2023 22:54

I don't think it's exactly the same but near enough to not care or really be an issue. I've got three DC. One episiotomy and two tears.

Don't look down there for six weeks at least.

eandz13 · 28/06/2023 22:56

Haha, don't worry, give it another couple of months. I remember crying when I looked at mine after I had my first! I can assure you, as somebody that's had 4 babies, it goes back to a normal size and shape etc.

TheFutureFreaksMeOut · 28/06/2023 22:58

I had an episiotomy and forceps and an extremely long and complicated recovery (18 months + with all sorts of scarring issues etc) and honestly now you'd never know anything had happened. Looks exactly the same as it did before!

sewerrat · 28/06/2023 22:59

you can get it fixed with a good cosmetic surgeon best thing I ever did

0021andabit · 28/06/2023 23:00

I vividly remember crying the first time I looked at myself after a first degree tear with my eldest. Give it another few weeks. Look after yourself. It’s such an emotional time. But you will feel like you again.

honeybunsleo · 29/06/2023 19:49

I had 1st degree tear and remembering being like 'WHAT is going on down there'. Honestly looked like a dogs dinner! However 6 months on it went pretty much back to normal with minimal changes.

ShadowPuppets · 29/06/2023 19:52

My vagina went back to fairly near normal (to the extent only I would notice the tiny changes!) after a hideous forceps & episiotomy birth. Next time around I went for an ELCS and my body will never be the same, but figured it was worth it for the non traumatic delivery - sacrifice I was willing to make. I’m extremely jealous of anyone who has a calm birth AND no lasting changes! But definitely vaginas tend to bounce back if you’ll pardon the term… obviously there are exceptions but that bit is very good at self recovery. Innards not so much (I’m looking at you, prolapse!) but the vagina itself is remarkable at healing.

edgeware · 29/06/2023 20:06

Yes, honestly, it will.

Panda368 · 29/06/2023 20:06

Mine went back to normal after 1 instrumental delivery with a 2nd degree tear - when the midwife checked my stitches in day 2 or 3 she was visibly shocked by the bruising I had if that gives you an indication of what a mess everything was!

It’s also gone back to normal ish again after 2nd where I was just 1mm short of a 3rd degree tear. Shitloads of internal and external stitches. I do have a scar now if I really look for it but otherwise very normal and functional.

Id wait for the swelling to go down and keep doing your pf excercises and you should be fine in a few months. Your fanny has been through a lot it will need some time.

PearlHeart3 · 29/06/2023 20:38

This reminds me when about a week post partum I had a visit from the midwife at home. I experienced a second degree tear. I asked her if my vagina/labia would return to normal as I was horrified how it looked (I took a peek with a mirror to check the stitches.)

My mum had died 3 months into my pregnancy and I had no one else to ask at the time.

She actually took a look to reassure me and said yes, it would go back a normal. The swelling would reduce, the stitches would disappear...

She was right. 4 years later and I can no longer see a difference in pre and post natal states.

Sex drive took a while to come back and that has never fully recovered but it all works 👀

onthefence23 · 29/06/2023 21:47

Mine was horrific, severe tear that nearly went through to the back passage I was in agony with the stitches. There was a bit that fully dangled down and hung out of my vagina for aaaaages.

I'll be honest it did take about 9/10 months but it all went back and looks and feels exactly like before,
Dd almost two and sex is great BlushGrin

Blessedbethefruitz · 29/06/2023 21:55

Deep 2nd degree tear here (shoulder dystocia so arm up after baby's head was born)... I was stitched for about an hour. I didn't check for a while as the pain was minimal and she was my second, so other priorities. Everything looks exactly the same. Possibly if dp went up with a speculum and magnifying glass he would report differently, but that doesn't seem to be a priority!

PurBal · 29/06/2023 21:55

I was due a smear shortly after giving birth to DS1. Nurse asked how far postpartum I was because “it’s a puddle down the for the first few months”. Give it time. I also had a fleshy bit that looked like a dangling slug, it eventually disappeared.

Greeneyegirl · 29/06/2023 21:56

I had an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear (it was actually a 3b) and can honestly say within 5 weeks I felt back to normal. I looked down there after 10 days and it was HORRIFIC. I couldn't even work out where the hole was. That was 5 months ago and I've been fine. No issues with pelvic floor, no issues with sex (maybe I'm a little looser during sex). But yeah after 4/5 weeks there was no problems at all.

Greeneyegirl · 29/06/2023 21:58

It looked normal after 5 weeks too

jojo2202 · 29/06/2023 21:58

had 3 vaginal births one 1st degree tear. he's 18 months now and am absolutely normal. I've honestly never look and don't care what it looks like as long as it's working. hubby said it's same as before and he's very honest

Diddykong · 29/06/2023 22:00

I had an episiotomy and it's been tight feeling since. I've never ever looked at it though. I didn't look at it before so I wouldn't have any comparison!

katmarie · 29/06/2023 22:09

I had episiotomy with ds, and I did the same, looked at it after a couple of weeks and it looked like my bits has been through a blender. It did improve a lot, but I wouldn't describe it as exactly the same as before. I could feel the scar tissue during sex for a long time afterwards, at least a year. I also had a small prolapse which didn't help me feel too positive about it all. But I'm getting there now.

Cosycover · 29/06/2023 22:23

It's the same house but the furniture has been rearranged a bit.

And the front door doesn't close right.

Beachhutnut · 02/07/2023 21:36

4th degree tear here 👋. I won't lie, it wasn't great for a while but all fully recovered so yes you'll be fine 💐

Beachhutnut · 02/07/2023 21:37

Pilates and kegels are your friends

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