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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Birth after assisted (forceps) delivery

27 replies

Lugase · 13/04/2023 23:18

Hi ladies. I’m 5 months post-partum to a sweet, sweet boy. I had a 36 hour labour, epidural, 2nd degree tear, episiotomy, major blood loss (2.5L), stitches came undone, restitch, multiple rounds of granulation tissue removal, incontinence, pelvic floor weakness and undergoing pelvic floor physio.. i’m not pregnant and don’t plan on it any time soon as i’m not mentally over this birth. Anyone been through something similar? Anyone had a “nice” birth after an assisted and complicated birth? I would at some point like to have a sibling for my boy but the thought currently fills me with insane anxiety. X

OP posts:
trailrunner85 · 13/04/2023 23:23

I had a very similar first birth to you, all the way to the pelvic floor physio.
I then went for a second vaginal birth after being assured it would be OK; and ended up needing major surgery due to all the damage that resulted. Including significant time off work and 12 weeks full bed rest.
Fully recovered now but, needless to say, I wish I'd gone for an elective section second time.

Teapleasebobb · 13/04/2023 23:24

Sounds very similar to my experience op. Took me a while to get over my traumatic birth and took a few years to decide to try for another dc.
I had a 3rd degree tear and an underlying condition that was likely to occur in subsequent pregnancies so when I fell pregnant with dc2, I insisted on an elective caesarean. I admit it was a bit of a fight to get it but I was insistent. Best decision as it was such an easy, relaxed birth compared to my first.

trailrunner85 · 13/04/2023 23:25

I don't mean to scare you, OP - honestly I don't. No point worrying needlessly though, as you could opt to reduce the risk significantly and go for a section next time.

Original poster
Lugase · 14/04/2023 12:38

Hi trailrunner. Sorry to hear you also went through the wringer with your births. If i may ask, and if you’re happy to share, what was the major surgery you had to go through? Severe tearing? Prolapse? Glad you are better now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lugase · 14/04/2023 12:39

So glad it worked out for you in your second birth. Hope you are all healed now, mentally and physically.

OP posts:
auroracase · 14/04/2023 18:57

I also had a traumatic birth with my 1st which resulted in a forceps delivery and 3rd degree tear amongst other complications. I'm currently pregnant again and have made it clear from the beginning that I would like an elective section this time. I totally understand there are risks with a section and the recovery will be difficult but I'm also unwilling to put myself through a vaginal birth again. Apart from a slightly patronising male Dr right at the beginning, all the drs and midwives have been fully supportive of my decision. Hoping for a much calmer, controlled experience this time.

Have you had a birth debrief? I found it quite challenging to discuss everything that happened but it did help me process it a bit. I can't remember how I requested it but think it was through the perineal nurse specialist in my trust.

Writeandroll · 14/04/2023 19:05

I had a traumatic first birth with forceps also.
Decided to try again with the second birth and ended up having ventouse, very traumatic, not time to get to theatre, baby’s heart rate was dropping, lots going on.

I regret not having an elective C section

PracticallyFlooredZero · 14/04/2023 19:08

Sounds very similar to my first birth. It was awful. I’m sorry you’ve gone through all of that and hope you are recovering well.

I’ve since had another 2 babies and both were very easy straightforward deliveries.

Secondbirthwhathappened · 15/04/2023 20:07

I have just posted a ‘what happened thread’ about my second birth.

First was induction/forceps, but I was lead to believe the second would be much more straightforward by both my consultant and anecdotal stories on here and from people I know. Unfortunately it was pretty much the same as the first, forceps again.

I hesitated before writing that, but wanted to be honest - I read too many ‘my second birth was like shelling peas’ posts and convinced myself mine would be the same, but it wasn’t. Sorry ☹️

DramaAlpaca · 15/04/2023 20:23

I had an epidural leading to an episiotomy and a forceps delivery with DC1. I think I was lucky not to be traumatised by it, thankfully I recovered well. I had a normal, easy delivery with DC2 16 months later and the same with DC3 a couple of years after that.

You just don't know how it's going to go, but if you are worried then look into having an elective section.

Bookworm333 · 15/04/2023 20:33

2nd birth had a 4th degree tear, needed surgery but thankfully largely recovered now. However I've not had another child and after the traumatic experience and indifference of the midwives I never would. If I was considering it, it would be a c-section without question. Why risk it - I was at risk of permanent incontinence, and I'd never in a million years risk having another tear like that and not recovering. I am sorry you have had such a difficult experience, I hope you are OK now and well supported!

Dinosaurus86 · 15/04/2023 20:41

I had forceps, third degree tear, episiotomy, shoulder dystocia, pph and have just found out I’m pregnant again (very early). If this pregnancy continues then I am fairly sure I’m going to request a c section - it just seems too risky otherwise. I was very lucky that I’ve healed reasonably well from the first birth, but I’m not entirely without issues from it. I’m planning to request to speak to a consultant. I might consider an early induction but I think c section is my current preference.

Aquarium321 · 15/04/2023 20:45

I had a long labour ending with epidural, forceps and episiotomy. Second one was completely the opposite, MLU, gas and air, couple of hours and a small tear. The recovery was simpler too. Speak to someone if and when it comes around again. It seems I needed forceps due to "maternal exhaustion". Second times are often quicker so this was less of a risk and also I ate more chocolate just in case to store up the energy

ChefWifeLife · 15/04/2023 20:56

Hi OP. I had a 24 hour labour with my first son, episiotomy but stopped dilating at 8cm, rushed to theatre due to low baby HR then forceps in theatre. I had a second degree tear that re-opened at home (although I wasn’t taken seriously when I went to the doctors and hospital three times) so it had to heal by itself. I then went through months of pain due to over granulation and ended up having a Fentons procedure when my son was 7 months old.

Second time around I had a 1hour active labour, second degree tear that took a fair bit of stitching but other than that it was amazing and I felt like an absolute warrior! I knew that this would be my last baby (I carry a blood disorder that neither boys have inherited), and wanted to try for the labour I didn’t have the first time around.

Wishing you peace and luck with whatever choice you make; it will be the right one for you.

MuthaHubbard · 15/04/2023 21:05

My first v similar to you, forceps didn't work so ventouse in the end after 16hr labour followed by massive blood loss, womb infection etc etc.
7 yrs later, number two was quickish (2 hrs after arriving at hospital), gas and air and she came out easy peasy, with no assistance, tears/stitches etc. Literally like chalk and cheese.
Still had massive blood loss but apparently that's just me.
Felt a million times better and less put through the ringer than the first time

cigarettesNalcohol · 15/04/2023 21:15

Please please please don't risk another traumatic birth. Opt for the elective c section.

Ubbee · 15/04/2023 21:26

Hi OP. Similar to you I had an epidural as prepped for emergency C section but then episiotomy, ventouse, forceps and a 3rd degree tear with PPH with my first. Was very traumatic and took me a long time to recover emotionally (but didn’t have ongoing incontinence issues or PF weakness).
Just over 3 years later I had a really straightforward labour just on gas and air. It was an incredible experience after the first and I’m so glad I did it that way, but was very unsure about it beforehand and did nearly go for a CS, but these are not without risks either.

I would recommend asking your hospital for a birth debrief if you haven’t already.
Good luck! Enjoy your baby.

FusionChefGeoff · 15/04/2023 21:28

I had a similar birth with the related injuries but had the most beautiful water birth with number 2 so please don't panic.

GG1986 · 15/04/2023 21:45

My first birth was similar to yours, but not as bad and it took me a long time to want another baby. The whole way through my 2nd pregnancy I wasn't sure if I wanted to try another vaginal birth or elective c section and I was full of anxiety. At 37 weeks I finally made the decision to have a c section and I am so glad I did. It was calm, controlled and I felt well looked after.

weegiemum · 15/04/2023 22:03

My first birth was very like yours, 37 hours back labour with facial presentation, augmentation, eventual ventouse (after the turned her a bit!!) 2nd degree year, what felt like petit-point embroidery down there, infected stitches, restitch and then galloping pnd!

Second was totally different, waters broke naturally at 10pm, gentle night of labouring in hospital (they sent dh to the fathers room that hospitals still had in those days as everything was so calm). Started to get more urgent at 7:30 so woke dh, went to delivery suite, he was born at 8:30 am serenely and I had 2 stitches. It's all a lovely memory. Not sure if I had pnd as was still medicated for the first time.

Third was induced but other than that very similar to second. 12 hours from pessary to delivery, plenty gas and air and I only needed stitches because of the speed she came out at!

So it's perfectly reasonable to have a great birth experience after something a bit more traumatic.

And you know what? They've grown up into 3 wonderful young adults, and all of the births mean nothing compared to the lovely 23, 21 and 19 year olds they are now. Please don't let birth put you off choosing to have the children you want. It's such a short part of their lives, and yours.

KohlaParasaurus · 15/04/2023 22:10

My experience was a positive one.

My first vaginal delivery (I'd previously had a CS for breech at term) was horrible, with a failed ventouse, forceps, undiagnosed third degree tear, a baby with a cephalhaematoma, and a long car journey two days postpartum (one of the most stupid things I've ever done, I had delusions of being invincible in those days and thought it would be OK) that resulted in a very swollen and bruised perineum. The kindest thing anyone has ever done for me was the community midwife who visited me at my parents' house, flinched at the state of my undercarriage, and whipped out all the stitches. It took a long time to heal.

When I became pregnant again I requested an elective caesarean section. A scan at 38 weeks showed that the baby was only around 3kg and the obstetrician persuaded me to aim for a vaginal birth and promised that I wouldn't have another forceps delivery and if there were any problems she'd come in at any time of the day or night and do a caesarean section. I ended up with a very quick labour with no time for pain relief and an intact perineum.

RobertJohnsonsShoes · 15/04/2023 22:15

Very similar to you. DD born 4 years later after the nicest, calmest birth with no trauma.

LocalHobo · 15/04/2023 22:20

I had a long labour ending with epidural, forceps and episiotomy. Second one was completely the opposite, MLU, gas and air, couple of hours and a small tear.
The straightforwardness continued with my third delivery.

AchillesHeelys · 15/04/2023 22:32

There are no guarantees of course but I think it’s definitely possible to have a nice second birth after a complicated first one.

My first was long and painful with PROM, drip induction, forceps in theatre after over an hour of useless pushing, tearing and blood loss/anaemia. It took me a good while to recover.

My second birth (just over 2 years later) was actually quite lovely. I sound insane even to myself saying that, but it was genuinely such an amazing experience. I was mostly at home in the bath with no pain relief needed, I arrived at the hospital 8cm dilated and spent an hour in the pool and then he basically birthed himself, I pushed 2 times!

I think a lot of that is probably luck, but I did hypnobirthing as I was feeling anxious after the difficult first birth, and that helped me massively too.

Having said all that, there is no shame in opting for a C section if you would rather have some control and not risk another difficult birth.

Beebel · 15/04/2023 22:39

I had a very similar first birth, forceps, third degree tear etc. My second was such a smooth experience, hour and a half labour, only gas and air, I tore but a lot less and recovery was very quick.