Asking for a c-section because of birth trauma/mental health

[violetskypurple]

I am 27 weeks with DC2. I had a very fast labour with DC1, less than 2 hours from waters breaking to birth. I had back to back contractions, didn't have time for any painkillers apart from gas and air. It was like I was possessed, I don't recognise who I was in labour I was screaming, pulling out my cannula and monitoring bands, I couldn't speak, at some points I felt like I couldn't see. It was awful and I was so scared. I was 21. I cried for a few days after, I felt very shaken up.

On paper it was fine, I had 2nd degree tears and was home the next day. Physically, recovery was fine. I have friends who have been through much worse, one friend had 3rd degree tears and was in hospital for over a week yet she was looking forward to the birth of her second child and said she didn't have any anxiety.

As I get closer to my due date, DC1s birth seems to play on a loop in my head, it's making me so anxious, when I think or talk about it my chest gets tight and I can't catch my breath and burst into tears and I don't know why, I try not to think about it but I can't stop at the moment. It's the last thing I think about when I go to sleep, I have flashbacks of it throughout the day.

I had a consultant appointment last week and saw a mental health midwife beforehand, she said she thinks I have birth trauma and has referred me to birth reflections and I have an appointment this week. She told me the consultant is very open to C-sections and inductions etc.

When I saw the consultant she told me it was likely I'd have just as quick a labour again, that a C-section wasn't necessary, said I'd be able to sneeze this baby out and she suggested an early epidural this time at 3cm but I'm worried I won't get to the hospital in time if I have another 2 hour labour and I won't be able to cope if I go through the same thing again.

I'm under no illusion that a C-section is an easy way out, I know it's major surgery and there's risk of infection and recovery will be hard, especially with a toddler at home but honestly if the consultant turned around and said yes I can have one, I feel like all the weight would be off my shoulders and I'd be much more relaxed. I don't suffer with anxiety in general it's just surrounding birth and I would do anything to not go through what I did last time.

Has anybody got any experience of asking for a c-section for mental health?

I know they can't say no but my consultant was very adamant it wasn't necessary.

Bump

If you feel you can’t advocate for yourself then ring up the ward and ask for a PMA midwife to call you back. Ask if someone can come with you to your consultant appointment to help you tell them you want a c section. If you are happy to advocate for yourself then just tell them I have decided I want a c section. It’s a medical procedure so they will need to explain the risk to you and you just say I understand the risk and I still want a c section.

You just need to be adamant that it’s necessary for you.

I had a c-section 18 years after my first, horrific and traumatic natural birth. I lost a lot of blood and had a bad tear. I requested a c-section with no problem, and you should be able to too (it's your right).

My c-section was pretty smooth, it wasn't as 'relaxing' as I had expected haha. And recovery was far more painful and prolonged than I had anticipated. But I am very happy with my choice.

I was traumatised by my first birth and this was my main reason for requesting a c-section.

I'm sorry you had that first birth experience. I think a birth reflections session could be really healing for you.

I'd also recommend reading the positive birth book as preparation for both a vaginal birth and a c section.

I found it interesting to read and reflect on my own fast births.

Given you have had a fast birth, it is likely you'll have a second fast birth.

It might be worth using the book to plan a section, and a plan B vaginal birth just in case you go into labour before your date (not saying you will, but just in case)

Feeling like your birth is being done with you rather than to you is really vital to a positive experience.

That sounds like a great idea, thank you. I'm usually fine speaking up and standing up for myself but I get so emotional and anxious about this that as soon as the consultant said no I just shut down and didn't speak up so having someone there to support me would be a great help

Thank you, I think my main concern is that medically the birth was ok so it is solely for my mental health and I'm worried the consultant won't understand that the birth was traumatic because on paper it was fine.

I did explain I still have a lot of pain from the tears and she just told me to massage down there and that if it tears again it might correct it which didn't make me feel any better!

Thank you, I am oddly looking forward to the session, the midwife who's doing it was really lovely and I've never spoken to anyone about the birth properly so I think it will be good to talk to someone who understands and because it's her job I don't worry about her judging me or thinking I'm overreacting or being silly.

I will order that book today, thank you for the recommendation.

I had a traumatic birth 5 years ago and the recovery was long and painful. The consultant tried to persuade me to go natural this time but I was concerned about my recovery after first birth. She told me ultimately it was my decision. I then decided to go for a planned c section but told very few people as everyone has some sort of story and I was nervous enough about my decision. It was the best decision I made and I have no regrets. The recovery was so much quicker and I kept on top my my pain meds and experienced very little discomfort. The only difficulty I found was moving from sitting to standing etc. from my understanding recovery from a planned c section is a lot quicker than emergency. I had my daughter on the Thursday was no,e Saturday morning and out and about by the Monday. I felt comfortable enough to drive easily after 4 weeks. My tummy is still a bit numb in places 11 weeks on and I’m definitely carrying more weight this time but I am 37 now!

OP, I could've written your post word for word. Exactly the same situation, now pregnant with my second after a two hour, back to back labour with my first, no break between contractions, everything so fast I didn't know what was happening except that I would certainly die (and I didn't care, I just wanted the pain to stop). Second degree tears also. When my baby was born I was in shock and couldn't even respond to his cries. It gives me nightmares still. And all midwives say is how "efficient" I was at giving birth and how "great" a fast labour is. I'm sure long labours aren't much fun either but anyone who's actually had a precipitous labour will know it's no walk in the park.

I'm only 17 weeks with my second and considering my options based on likely having another fast labour, might not get to the hospital in time, etc. The one that appeals most is to insist on induction at 39 weeks and an immediate epidural. That gives me control over when it happens, the pain I'll feel and minimises recovery time afterwards. I'd opt for a c-section but having had surgery to remove my appendix a few years back, I know cutting into the stomach muscle is no joke ... It hurts to laugh, move, do anything.

Not sure I've helped but just know you're not the only one and we have to be really firm with our healthcare teams and advocate for ourselves.

Also, I did all the hypnobirthing/positive birth courses before birth. Didn't help one bit! I'd have loved a calm, controlled water birth ... My reality was so far from that.

I know what you mean op. I had a fast labour too and it was terrifying. Everyone says how lucky I am and it must have been so much better than the long ones but actually it was just very concentrated into the short time, painful and shocking. I don’t think I’m over it yet and I’m pregnant with my second too.

Hi OP, your post really resonates with me, especially the bit about feeling like you couldn't even see during parts of your labour. I've said before I could have been giving birth in the car park with postman pat as a midwife I was so deaf and blind with the pain and panic.

I requested a c section second time around. There was a bit of push back as I think generally they try and put you off but I just kept firm that was what I wanted and as soon as they knew I wasn't having doubts/backing down it was a breeze.

I'm usually a total pushover so I did take my husband with me to the consultant appointment where I was being booked in in case they broke me!

Good luck OP, just tell them you know your rights and that is what you want.

I'm so pleased it worked out well for you in the end and that recovery wasn't too bad. I'm not very good at dealing with pain and I had a laparoscopy a few years ago that I really struggled recovering from so I am scared about the recovery but I do think I would take that over the mental recovery of going through the same again.

That's brilliant that you were home so soon and able to get out and about, it sounds like it was definitely the right choice

Yep I did this! 40 min labour, forceps and 3C tear with zero pain relief, not even gas and air. You will be given a c section if you ask for one, I’m sure. Good luck! I had 2 c sections, they’re great.

Wow yes that's exactly the same as what I experienced! I really thought I was going to die, I have never experienced anything like it.

Similarly I'm told how lucky I am it was so quick etc but I don't feel lucky. I don't imagine any labour is enjoyable for many women really and I wouldn't want a long drawn out labour either but yes, it being so fast and sudden is really scary!

An induction with an epidural is a good idea that I hadn't considered actually, it would mean I could definitely have the epidural early on hopefully whereas if I was left for it to happen naturally there is a big chance I wouldn't get to the hospital on time. I had an induction last time at 38 weeks.

The thing that worries me is the recovery from a c-section especially when I have a very cuddly toddler who loves to climb on me at any given opportunity. So much to consider!

And yes hypnobirthing went completely out the window 😬

I'm so sorry you had such a frightening birth experience OP. That sounds horrific and it is completely understandable and valid that you would want a C section this time around.

I had a C section. I was at increased risk of severe tearing from a natural birth due to an existing medical condition. However it was technically an elective because the consultant said we could 'give it a go' naturally as it was only a 'low' risk of fetal incontinence(!).

I strongly feel it is every woman's right to the birth they want, and that if it were men who gave birth then they wouldn't need to beg for the birth they wanted. Further, it is technically your right to have a C section so long as they explain the risks.

I would go to your consultant appointment with some written notes. You can calmly say you require a C section and explain why (referring to your notes if you need to jog your memory). Prepping like this will show the consultant you have given it thought and you can practice saying it confidently and calmly. You don't need to justify it but it might give you more confidence going into your appointment. That's what I did and when they saw I meant business they accepted it.

My C section was brilliant. The process was so calm and I felt completely in control and safe (there are so many staff talking you though everything). Recovery was fine, they have me good pain meds. Ask for Oromorph which keeps it well under control. You can have it every 2 hours from memory.

I know exactly what you mean about it being concentrated, it was like a "normal" length labour and contractions all in a tiny space of time.

The consultant joked I would be able to sneeze this baby out but that made me feel worse, I don't want another labour like that!

Sorry @bonkersconkers101 I meant to say congratulations and that I hope you have the birth you would like this time

I'm sorry you experienced the same but I'm glad you understand, I sometimes think I think I sound dramatic when I say I couldn't see or hear, at points it was like I wasn't even in my own body and I was watching from the corner of the room, I've never experienced anything like it.

I am worried I'll be a pushover and just accept it if they push back but then go home and cry about it instead of standing up for myself. I was told the birth reflections midwife can help me do a birth plan, we have an appointment on Thursday and I'm hoping she will be able to support me with requesting one

40 minutes?! Wow! Thank you and I'm glad you had a good experience with both your c-sections that is reassuring

Thank you so much.

Do you know, my mum said the exact same thing! If men had to give birth they'd be able to do it however they wanted and they wouldn't be denied painkillers.

That is a brilliant idea about the notes, when I was discussing it with her before I just went red and was trying not to cry so I felt I couldn't say what I wanted to say so having it written down would really help.

I think that's what appeals to me about a c-section, it's in my control, I'm safe, I know what's going to happen and the idea of that is lovely compared to the chaos of last time.

I've got my birth reflections appointment tomorrow.

I had to go to the hospital for GTT testing and the blood test was done within the delivery suite which I wasn't expecting, walking in again was really hard and hearing the mums in labour was awful, brought everything back and I had to try really hard not to run out, no idea what's wrong with me!

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way OP, it must be very scary. It definitely sounds like you may have birth trauma and it’s very scary facing that whilst also preparing for the birth of your second child. If you push for a c-section they will give you one. I had a c-section second time around (for different reasons) and it’s true that it is a different birth experience but no less special than a natural birth. Recovery is more full on, especially with an older child to take care of so it’s worth considering that, but I’m now 7 months PP and have no withstanding issues apart from the dreaded c-section ‘apron’ tummy!!

The midwife today said that if I wanted a c section I could have one and she's coming with me as an advocate to my next consultant appointment, I feel so relieved and much less anxious today