Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Giving birth alone

36 replies

Cm2023 · 20/03/2023 12:45

Has anyone gave birth alone? If so how was it? My mum and my sister insinuated they were coming in with me when I give birth but I've had mixed emotions about it. I broke up with my child's father before I found out I was pregnant. My emotions have been all over the place when it comes to who's coming in. I feel like I will get frustrated with whoever is in with me and I'm picturing myself not telling anyone and going to the hospital on my own when the time comes. I really don't know what to do. I'm due to give birth in 8 weeks. Can I hear other people experience in doing it alone?

OP posts:
hadenoughforever · 21/03/2023 09:32

I’ve given birth without any family support there twice. It was a long time ago (ie mid and late 1990s), but found it ok. I couldn’t have cared less if the whole hospital decided to attend as I was so focused 😁, midwives were busy so checking in and out. But I was fortunate to have relatively short labours (first induced and then seven hour labour, second was two hours but admittedly I was very cold or something and I was shaking to teeth shattering degree).
Hope you find a solution or compromise you feel comfortable with and wishing you well.

hadenoughforever · 21/03/2023 09:33

NoraLuka · 21/03/2023 09:23

I gave birth alone twice because ExH didn’t want to be in the room for cultural reasons. It was ok but I don’t have anything to compare it to! It might have been nice to have company.

Maybe your mum /sister could be there so you have someone to chat to, and leave during the actual birth part if you’re not comfortable ?

This seems like a good idea if you are unsure OP!

philautia · 21/03/2023 09:44

I am considering giving birth alone this time. I am most calm in my own company and I wouldn't get bored, plus my I'd rather my partner took care of our child and then they both meet the baby together. He is wonderfully supportive though so I think I might miss that.

I don't know though, I might change my mind closer to the time! The idea is just very attractive to me but as this will be a VBAC, I have no idea what to expect.

Lovelyveg82 · 21/03/2023 09:45

hadenoughforever · 21/03/2023 09:33

This seems like a good idea if you are unsure OP!

Only a good idea if the Op actually finds her mother and sister supportive and has an open and loving relationship with them.

Given worried about them “insinuating” and fact she’s started this thread… would indicate the above isn’t the case

shelbaba · 21/03/2023 10:41

My friend did it. Her family was away as she wasn't due for another 2 wks. Her husband had to stay home with their child so she was on her own. I'd have gone if she'd told me but she said it was fine.

The only thing I wld say is that she told them several times she wanted an epidural and they kept saying too late baby will be here soon but it was about another 4hrs so they were totally at it with her. I was really annoyed on her behalf as if someone has been there they wld have made sure they listened to her! She said she's glad she didn't have it though as was able to get up and about quickly, get a shower etc.

I hate the idea of not having anyone there with me but in all honestly they can't do much for u. I couldn't really interact as I was just in pain and trying to get through it. So to be honest I don't think it wld be that bad. Just make sure the staff know what pain relief u want and follow through on it.

tigger2022 · 23/03/2023 20:13

I gave birth alone and it was completely fine, I actually enjoyed being in a bubble of 2 afterwards, just me and my son. I got a doula because I guess other people pressured me into it and made me feel bad but I ended up having an EMCS so she didn't actually do anything apart from take pictures.

Elfidela1980 · 23/03/2023 20:30

I had my DH there but tbh it was more for him than me, with the first he was as much use as tits on a fish and with the second I had to beg him to leave (bowels😬). Depends if you think your mum and sister would be a good support, personally, I’d rather be alone than have to have my mum, she’s a stress case and it’s not the time for prioritising other people’s feelings. I also wonder if you were admitted alone staff might be less likely to leave you unattended for long periods. Good luck OP 💐

ancientgran · 23/03/2023 20:38

I wouldn't have had my mother there. I had one at home and she was downstairs with my other one, when the midwife arrived I told her if my mother came in the bedroom I was going out. She was very good and when mum put her head round the door she was sent on her way.

Sunriseinwonderland · 23/03/2023 20:59

I chose to give birth alone. I dont want a room full of people staring at me I'd be incredibly anxious. It was definitely the right thing for me.

nildesparandum · 23/03/2023 21:28

Yes I given birth alone, twice and by CS. I cannot say more as it would out me
.

tigger2022 · 23/03/2023 22:00

I've just remembered a drawback of giving birth alone. Not having anyone to advocate for you or just back you up and be assertive. Doctors so often think they know what's right and youre not in a state to argue. I was being induced because of pre-eclampsia and I deteriorated throughout the day so I was moved into a delivery room and they were planning to break my waters. I felt so ill so they said they were going to give me something. The second they turned on the pump thingy to give me the drug, I knew something was wrong. I started saying "stop stop stop" but they just shushed me and said it would make me feel better. And I kept trying to tell them but I was getting less and less intelligible until they realised for themselves something was wrong with me. I ended up crashing and having to have an EMCS. Now that I think about it that's quite extreme but in the moment I probably could have done with someone advocating for me and telling the doctors that I wanted them to stop that drug. On the whole I don't think I made a mistake giving birth alone, obviously I couldn't have foreseen that, but it was one drawback. Maybe something to think about?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page