advice please...

[wohmum]

hi ,

not sure if this is the best place to put this but I need a bit of advice please..

my neice has just given birth to her first child (she's 28 so not as scary as it sounds!) and from all accounts she had a really rough time - baby was 9 lb 8 oz, she's got 3rd degree tear, lost a lot of blood and needed ventouse to get teh baby out. This was all in the early hours of last night and her mum ( my sister) is understandably very worried and can't get to her for a couple of days.

How serious is this ? will she be up and about in a few days or likely o take a lot longer to recover ? will she be able to breastfeed ok? how long till she can go home?

does anyone have any comparable experiences they can share - without scaring the guys on here yet to deliver!!

thanks for your help in advance

Hi there, doesn't sound too serious and all part of the course! My first was 10lb, 7 oz, I tore quite badly, lost a fair bit of blood and the delivery was by forceps... I was out of hospital after one night and although a little battered, recovered just fine. Breastfeeding was fine too. I'm sure your niece is in good hands, so don't worry!

Yes that sounds about what I had with ds1.

Not sure why you think she would not be up and about or unable to breastfeed? Baby was put on me the minute they finished stitching me up.

Will she be up and about in a few days? Yes, she will be encouraged to be up and about as soon as she needs the loo/baby needs changing/epidural wears off (if she had one, I didn't).

If baby is ok she'll probably be home the next day. After a tear you just mince about and have to be careful sitting down but it doesn't mean you are incapacitated for days on end.

I had a section with ds2 and was up and about the next day. It was agony, but I can't think any hospital lets you lie there if your legs are working.

thanks all, reassuring to know it is fairly par for the course - my info is all a bit 3rd hand from her hubby who has been up all night and is a bit shell-shocked, through my sister who had her kids 30 yrs ago very naturally and was upset and worried when I talked to her this morning.

I know my niece is keen to breastfeed but was worried about not being able to, and i know there is no reason why she shouldnlt be able to - just lookign for reassurance i guess.

most worrying thing is that this makes me a great aunt - but I'm nowhere near 92 - tho' am a little grey!

wohmum can I just say how lovely it is that you are worrying about your niece. It is my aunt who has given me the most support throughout both my pgs and births (not unsimilar to your neice's either) and because of this we have a very close special bond and both my girls absolutely adore her. She even has her own title and is probably more highly regarded in their eyes than actual grandparents - I just think they're lucky to have so many people who adore them. Your neice is a lucky girl to have such a caring family - enjoy your great-neice, my dd is named after mine and has the same special relationship with hers as I did with mine
x

Sorry but had to smile at the thought of the new dad being traumatised by all this, probably thinking that his wife will be hospitalised and incapacitated for aaaaages.... then he will go for visiting this afternoon and she'll be up and about and baby clamped on her chest and her bag all ready for coming home

My friends husband announced their first baby's birth with a text along the lines of 'after a horrible ordeal mum and baby now doing well' so we all got soooo worried... turns out a completely natural birth, no assistance, no stitches, home same day!

Men eh!

Going to see them this afternoon - and will have time to nip into town for a lovely treat for her - any top suggestions?

get the mum some lovely things for herself, nice bath stuff maybe..

also arnica pillules, available from boots etc will be great for helping with healing and any bruising, spatone is good for boosting her iron if she has lost blood... and will help with energy levels

lots of dried fruit and water for her so it is easier for her to open her bowels, especially after a tear ......

she needs to take it easy, for no other reason than she has had a baby ! so maybe some meals for the freezer

i know it sounds bad, but assisted delivery is quite common....

lol well it wont hurt hubby to think shes not going to able to do much for a while now is it hmm . and lets face it if hubby had been the one on the delivery bed im sure his version of events would be very different.