First baby, low risk - buy an Aniball and train for a Vbac or give in to fear and ask for an elective

[Plimsongrey]

First baby
Smooth pregnancy so far, considered low risk
BMI of 20.5
Active lifestyle

Now 30 weeks at a crossroads - do I go the full hog and prepare for natural birth? Aniball hypnobirthing techniques etc or do I just request an a elective as deep down I'm shit scared of a traumatic birth and don't like the Russian roulette of a vbac.

I have an appointment to discuss an elective next week but I can't say I'm 100% adamant about it, I just want it on the table in case I bottle it. Part of me want to be courageous and try vbac, the other part things that's bonkers.

Sorry I'm just a little confused, your first child by you are considering a vbac? A vbac is vaginal birth after caesarean.

Vbac means vaginal birth after ceasarean

I think most women are somewhat nervous about the birth of their baby especially when it is the first time.
If there's no medical indication I think to plan for a vaginal birth. Remember your body is designed to give birth. Think of all the women before you who have been in your shoes. It's a normal physiological process. Look at positive birth stories online. Talk to your midwife about any concerns you have and start telling yourself you can do it. Because your can! If you get your mind right the body will follow. All the best.

Sorry, wrong acronym, there's so many on here, just a vb

Vbac means vaginal birth after c-section. But I'm reading that it's your first baby. It's totally normal to be scared. It's the great unknown. My first baby was an emergency section after a 10 hour labour and second was vaginal after a 3 hour labour so I've done both. Honestly not sure what I'd choose if i were to have another baby. Vaginal birth is so primal and it's mind blowing what your body can do. Yes the pain is extremely EXTREMELY intense and the epidural person might not make it to you. Sorry, no help. But i told myself that millions of babies are born every year and women are amazing and capable. Good luck whatever you choose.

Is there any particular reason not to go for a vaginal birth?

A C-section is not the easy way out.

I have known a lot of people try hypnobirthing and say how much it helped. Maybe talk through your fears with your midwife. You'd be amazed at what you can do when you are in that situation.

I've had one vaginal birth followed by emergency c section, followed by failed vbac ending in emergency c section and planned c section. Planned section was by far the better compared to the emergency.

I found the sections so much harder to recover from, if I could go back I'd give hypnobirthing a try.

How old are you op?

Only fear really

I'd try for a normal delivery.
Recovery after a caesarean is awful.

36

Hypnosis every time! But not some random group where you picture a rose opening ffs, get a proper person who will tailor the suggestions to suit your individual fears. Pm me if you need a name.

Ok. What exactly is it you are afraid of?

Episiotomy, forceps, very long labour - basically any complications. Not coping with pain, I would like to be lucid and not up to my eyeballs in heavy painkillers

Bear in mind that you may turn up and find that the midwives are very determined that you will have a natural birth regardless of what you think you have planned....if you want a planned c-section you may need to push quite hard to get one scheduled in on the NHS (unless there is a medical reason such as breech) and also make sure you have some kind of written record of your consent to c-section from before you went into labour in your bag so you can't find yourself caught in a "just try for a bit...oops, too late now, in too much pain to consent" bait and switch.

Could you make sure you ask for an epidural? It made such a difference to my births and I didn’t feel out of it on pain medication.

This is exactly what happened to two friends with similar horrendous experiences. They had agonising labours for over 24 - 48 hours and started to beg for c ssections but medical team kept them trying with instrumental interventions until they finally decided to do emergency c sections. They both got ptsd and had to recover from a partial vb and a section.

Hate the idea of being at the mercy of a medical team like this. Such a loss of control

Yes maybe this is a good compromise as I definitely don't want morphine or anything like that

Elective cesarean is the best thing I ever did for my second birth.

First was 47hrs labour ending in emergency csection and quite frankly most vaginal outcomes concerned me anyway. Tearing and forceps and possibly getting stuck.

Elective is so much more calm, I felt better equipped to care for my baby.

I will also note that in the C-section I had I'm not sure I'd describe myself as "lucid" - I certainly wasn't knocked-out-unconscious and I was aware that I was having a c-section and of the team chatting around me, but there were a lot of drugs going round! I also wasn't aware how fast they get the baby out compared to how long they spend sewing up afterwards so I was dimly aware of a baby being wiped and weighed on a table in the corner while I thought they were still lining up and cutting into me, and somehow assumed that must still be the baby from the previous operation in the room - obviously it wasn't, it was my own son. :-)

Alright.

Well, childbirth is unpredictable but there are definitely things you can do to increase your chances of things going well.

I am a big believer in optimal foetal positioning. My son was brow presenting which meant he didn't move down into the birth canal and I ended up with an emergency C-section. My daughter was perfectly positioned and she came out easily. You can look on the website Spinning Babies for exercises to get and keep your baby in the best position, and as you get towards the end of your pregnancy, staying active, walking, scrubbing the floor on your hands and knees, and sitting on a birthing ball rather than slouching on the sofa will all help.

As for episiotomy and forceps, firstly, these things should not be done to you without your consent. It's fine to write in your birth plan that you don't want them, and that if it comes to it you'd rather have a C-section than forceps. It might help you to talk to other women, in real life if you know any, on Mumsnet if you don't, about their actual experiences of having an episiotomy or forceps delivery. It may not be as scary as you think.

You can of course try to reduce your risk of a severe tear by using the Aniball or Epi-no and doing perineal massage. I used an Epi-no because it is recommended by my doctor. I don't know whether it actually helped prevent me getting a more severe tear, but it did make me feel more confident that I would be able to push out a baby's head. Actually giving birth didn't feel anything like using the Epi-no.

In the end I had a mild second degree tear. Maybe it would have been worse if I hadn't used the Epi-no, or maybe it made no difference. Maybe I wouldn't have torn at all if I'd done more perineal massage, which I hated. Or maybe it wouldn't have made any difference. Maybe I wouldn't have torn at all if I'd pushed slowly and gently, lying on my left side or on all fours, rather than on my back in a great hurry. What I can tell you is that I didn't feel the tear, I had some minor discomfort being stitched up, it was a little bit sore for a few days afterwards, and then it healed up well. I'm now 9 weeks postpartum and honestly, everything is completely back to normal down there and has been for ages.

If you have a lot of contraction pain, ask for an epidural. They are brilliant.

My experience of giving birth vaginally was way better than having a C-section, and the recovery was a lot easier. I can't guarantee it would be the same for you, but unless you are really terrified I would give it a go.

Any other questions?

I was worried about giving birth especially as we lived in the countryside and my husband was often uncontactable at work so opted for a C-section with my first. I have never regretted it one bit and had a section with my second as well. My friend did the same and we have both often said we were happy with our choice. But it isn’t always that easy and does take longer to recover. Good luck with whatever you decide x

It’s like taking a really big shit, no more no less. If you’d book a manual removal if you were constipated without trying then I’d opt C-section but honestly for most people it isn’t better to cut the baby out than use the exit provided. I’ve had 4 births 2 with and 2 without epidural, and I personally think for me, epidural is a better option. The best predictor is how your mum did, so if she had a hard labour I’d want to know what caused it to be difficult.

The pushing part is like taking a really big shit, for sure, but that's only a small part of it.

I think what I found it hard to get my head round is the fact that childbirth is bigged up as this amazing and challenging thing you do, but in reality most of the time you don't do anything except respond to the pain.

The contractions will happen of their own accord and so will the pushing if you are having anything approaching a physiological labour. I was told to physically push because they wanted to get the baby out ASAP and I didn't want to risk forceps or being carted off for a C-section when I was almost at the finish line, but I'm pretty sure that if I'd just lain there, or got into a different position, the contractions would have eventually just sort of vomited my baby out.

I think it's helpful to get into positions which move labour along, like staying upright as much as possible, moving around lots, circling your hips during contractions etc. And breathing through the contractions may help you to stay calm. But generally speaking labour is something your body will do on its own without you having much input.

As I said before, I think epidurals are the best and would have one every time. A walking epidural, if available, will minimise your pain whilst allowing you to stay mobile. Never had gas and air or anything else.

Thank you RosaBonheur that's really helpful info, it doesn't seem as terrifying when someone walks through it like that. I think there's so many horror stories out there it's easy to imagine the very worst

I've had 3 csections and I always share my (mostly) positive section experience when mums are about to have a section.

HOWEVER, if you don't have a medical need for a section, I would advise against it. If you want more than one child, every subsequent section gets more complicated and more risky. I've had 3, but by the 3rd, it was not easy and the surgeons had several serious concerns. If I get Pg again it would likely cause me serious, lasting health complications or even death. This isn't rare, it is common for multiple sections.

The recovery is doable, and not to be scared of if you NEED a section. But it took me longer than almost everyone I know who had a VB. The first couple of days particularly are really unpleasant, with a catheter, searing pain from trapped air, total immobility, difficulty sitting up etc.

Yes, I do know a couple who had bad experiences of vb, but I also have a friend who had a bad experience of recovery from a planned C-section and another who had PTSD.

I'm not trying to scare you, and again I don't think csections should be feared, but it is really not the easy, uncomplicated option you think it is.